His Girl

chapter 60

James
I couldnt help it, I completely lost it. It was like I had no control over myself. I'm just thankful I didnt get violent. I would never forgive myself if I physically harmed her.
When I heard she had a secret, i became concerned, why wouldnt she tell me, was something wrong, maybe she was in pain, maybe there was some hospital related complications,  maybe she remembered something, maybe she...so many thoughts raced through my head and one thought came to mind when she hugged ethan back. She loved him. Anger rose up and I shouted, I was angry that's for sure.

"Shes on her period" Ethan blurted out and guilt consumed me. How could I have treated her like that. Of course she wouldnt want to tell me that, I felt anger towards myself for letting things get this far. I should never have asked, I was a hypocrite too, I had secrets too, so many and she didnt demand too know. What the hell was wrong with me. I'm a terrible person.
"So how come she told you" logan asked and this got me curious. "Because you two are the most serious and she needed some stuff so I went and got some whilst you were in the office" this made me feel shitter after hearing Ethan say this, was I that unapproachable. "Yeah and he acts alot like a girl" Harper added which made me laugh. When excited, Ethan would practically turn into a girl or at least a stereotypical girl. When I told him and Logan that me and Harper were together, their responses were so different.  Logan's was "finally that's great" and ethan began talking about how he wanted to be the best man at our wedding and then he started talking wedding themes. I laughed as the memory came into my mind.

"Oh my god. That's amazing, finally. Oh my god. Right I wanna reserve the spot as best man now. Oh I could help plan it too, you need a theme, what's your favourite colour, no wait I'll ask Harper hers, indoor or outdoor. Omg this is gonna be great" he ranted and me and Logan looked at him like he was crazy.
"We got together yesterday, a wedding isnt happening" I tell him but in my mind I add on the word 'yet'
"And they are still young, Harper has only just turned 19" Logan says
"Minor issues, this is gonna be great" he says and waves it off like it was nothing.

"Why the hell are you laughing" ethan asks, probably offended that Harper said that about him. "Just thinking back to when I told you that thing and you started planning the future" I say not wanting Harper to know we were together.  I know it was stupid not to tell her but I was afraid that she might reject me.
"Damn, I remember that. Hey harper what's your favourite colour" logan says. Harper looks confused but answers "I dont mind any colour really, pastelly colours are nice but not pink. Maybe like a pastelly purple or blue" she says. I notice Ethan was trying to take a mental note. I had introduced her too a range of colours in the hospital,  just so she could choose her favourite colour,  I obviously knew it but I also knew it would be wrong of me to tell her something like 'your favourite colour is blue' I wanted her to figure it out for herself.
"I'm sorry Harper for my lashing out. I was just concerned it was something serious like you were ill or hurt. I'm sorry my mind just jumped to worst possible things" I explain realising I still hadnt apologised. "If I was hurt I'd tell you" she says making me feel worse than I already did. How could I be so stupid. "Forgive me" I ask, I expected her to say no and turn and leave but instead she comes towards me and hugs me. I quickly wrap my arms around her, not wanting to miss the chance to hug her. "Yeah" she mumbles and we just stand for several minutes hugging.
I didnt want to let her go, I wanted her in my arms forever.