You're My Ugly Pineapple

Chapter one

I floated along the top of the water as the sky stretched out in front of me, clouds dotting the blue sky like balls of fluffy down. A content sigh escaped my lips and I closed my eyes, just for my peace to be interrupted by crashing and yelling. 

"It's happening!" 

Oh gods, not again. 

"Come on guys, this is the fourth time this week!" I yelled back, looking up at the frantic mammoth and the two excited possums. 

"But this time it's actually happening! Ellie's gonna have a baby!" Crash exclaimed, jumping up and down on Manny's tusk. 

"Yeah! We're gonna be uncles!" Eddie added, high-fiving Crash. I sighed and slid across the top of the water, jumping up and wringing myself out with an annoyed groan. 

"Well, I guess it is time for my daily panic-stricken run," I yawned, cracking my joints before jumping up onto the top of Manny's head. He dipped the tortoise shell he was carrying into the water and started running back towards where Ellie presumably was. I leaned back and enjoyed the ride as he panicked, trying not to think about what happened to the tortoise that formally called that shell home. It was obviously another false alarm, if it was real then he wouldn't be going on a wild goose chase for some water. It would be Sid instead, because Ellie would have Manny's head if he randomly ran off in the middle of labour. 

Just before Manny went falling off a cliff to uncertain doom, I jumped off and held onto a branch embedded in the cliff, using the propulsion backflip onto the ground below. I landed at the bottom with a graceful 'thud', while Manny crashed down after me with the elegance of a Glyptodon with an ingrown nail. 

"Manny, it was just a kick," Ellie laughed, holding the side of her belly with her trunk. I jumped over to her and leaned against her foot, looking up at Manny with a shit-eating grin as he pulled the shell off of his head. 

"Right! Right... wow, you really gave Daddy a scare! Daddy got silly! Daddy fall down cliff and go boom, boom, boom, boom! Haha, silly Daddy! Yea...." Manny cooed, tickling the side of Ellie's stomach as he talked to the child inside of her. I dusted off my paws and took a few steps forward, looking around at the crowd, Why a crowd had gathered to watch Ellie give birth was beyond me.

"False alarm, guy!. It was just a kick, like always," I yelled out, climbing up Ellie so I was sitting in the tuft of hair on her head. Everyone groaned in protest and walked away, yelling retorts and insults at Manny as they did so.

"Manny, you have every right to be excited, but you're getting a little carried away there, mate," I chuckled, looking over at him as he stared at the string of people walking away. 

"Yeah, Sky's right. You really need to take it down a notch," Ellie added, reaching up to ruffle the top of my head with her trunk. 

"Okay, okay. You two are starting to sound like Diego," Manny rolled his eyes and smiled. I shook my head and giggled, sticking my tongue out at him. That is, until realization hit me.

"Wait a second, where is that ball of chaos anyways?" I jumped down of Ellie and ran away to find him, slipping through the snow like I was a snake. I ran until I came across a huge hole in the ground, skidding to a stop as the darkness stretched out in front of me. 

"Oh my gods," I exclaimed, staring down, in awe of the massive chasm. This hole was going to be the beginning to some sort of wild adventure, I know it. 

The next day, after I'd taken the rest of the day to chill out and cause general chaos, I'd heard news of Diego leaving, and that Sid had miraculously come across a group of lizard babies that kept destroying things, and was calling himself their 'Mama.' Manny was, obviously, a little distracted with Ellie, so I had to be the one to put an end to the chaos. Yay me...

"Sid! What the hell is going on?" I yelled, bounding into the playground that I had helped Manny with a few days prior. At least, it used to be a playground. It was being completely obliterated by the kids of the community, despite Manny telling every single one of them that it was out of bounds. 

"Sky! Help!" Sid yelled out, running over to me with an exhausted look on his face. 

"What did you do!?"

"Nothing! These kids just destroyed it, not me!"

I sighed and walked in, paws on hips, putting on my fiercest 'don't fuck with me' face.

"Kids! If you don't get outta here by the time I count to ten, your pelts will be on my wall," I growled, a fierce look on my face and my fangs popping out from under my lip. A terrified look spread across the face of every kid in the playground, apart from the lizard things, and they all rushed out in a panic. 

"Sid, Manny and I worked on this for days and you and your, your, 'kids' destroyed it!" I growled, my claws popping out from my fur as my fingers tensed. 

"Sky, I'm sorry! My kids and I didn't mean it!" 

"Oh, you're gonna be sorry," I growled, walking up to him, he fell on the ground and I jumped onto his chest and looked him straight in the eye. 

"No looking for a mate for 3 months!" I roared, spit flying into his face. Just as I said that, Manny and Ellie came into the playground and one of Sid's 'kids' ran away and destroyed the ice-mobile I made. 

"I told you to take them back and you kept them! Now look what they've done!" Manny exclaimed, walking over with the angriest expression I'd ever seen on a mammoth. 

"Okay, granted, we do have some discipline issues..."

"Eating kids is not a discipline issue!" I yelled, jumping on Manny's back and crossing my arms.

"But he spit him out" Sid exclaimed, motioning towards his scaley child. 

"Well that's just super, let's give him a gold star! Kid of the week!" I exclaimed again, the lizard dancing happily at my sarcastic words. Granted, they were pretty cute, but that wouldn't get in the way of how pissed off I was. 

"They don't belong here, Sid. Whatever they are, wherever you found them, take them back," Manny growled, his eyes closing into slits as he glared at Sid.

The ground started to shake before Sid could retort, causing the few remaining parents waiting to yell at Sid go into a panic. Images flashed before my eyes - a massive, yellow eye, someone screaming my name, and a searing pain in the top of my head. My head swirled with memories I didn't know I had, my brain started to feel overwhelmed, and I passed out.