Thunderbirds are go one-shots

A/N

So I've been going through some shit and I need a place to just vent and stuff, you can skip this if you want I don't really mind I just need to get this off my chest.

So basically my mum isn't an amazing person, she is constantly putting me down saying things like "you need to stop eating so much your gonna get fat" I am now at a point were I have almost stopped eating, I eat dinner and a piece of toast in the morning yet she is constantly on my back about how I need to be better at school and be as good as my siblings (2 older 1 younger) my lil brother is extremely smart for his age and is my mums favorite child, I have my dad but he's here an hour a day except for sundays so I don't get to see him a lot. As for my older siblings one moved to Canada and the other has a wife and two kids, and those two are the only thing my mum talks about.

At school I have quite a large friend group but I'm not very bright so I'm referred to as the dumb one, no matter if my ideas or statements are smart or not they get put down because that's apparently how I have portrayed myself to them. Even my teachers are rude to me they always look shocked when I get an answer correct and yell at me if something's wrong. My best friend and all my other friends as well sometimes, sometimes calls me dumb as a joke and don't get me wrong, I love those fuckers but, it hurts ya know? Like. I know it's a joke but it hits a weak spot for me coz I feel like it's true and no matter how much I act happy and laugh about it it makes me want to scream

On top of all this 3 of my grandparents aren't in a good way, one has dementure and is getting a hip replacement, one has to get heart surgery and the third is slowly dying. I'm not mentally in a good place right now, I have this one amazing friend who has helped me stop hurting myself as much but I can't help it ya know? And if I get to school and she sees scabs and bandaids on my arms she always checks in with me via text after school, and it's great. But I can't really tell anybody coz I don't wanna be a burden. Just another thing I mess up ya know?

The last thing is that I sometimes get nightmares and stuff about certain things, for example when I was 11 I watched my dad break the discs in his back, I heard him scream and watched as the paramedics took him away all the while I was curled up in a corner crying in fear until my grandma took me to her house while he was recovering. I relive memories of things of things I've seen, and it is bad, I've seen people in car crashes and hit by cars I watched as their blood splattered onto the road or their car spun out of control, and then I never got to know if they lived or died.

I kinda wish life would give me a break.

Sorry to ruin everyone's day like this with my personal shit it's completely fine if you skipped it all. 😘