Beacon Hills 1983

Chapter 20: Full Moon

(Teen wolf)

Not long after we left school, I started feeling the change inside me; stirring, restless... like fire burning and growing wilder with each passing second, desperate for an opportunity to escape.

And that's when I realized; I was no longer in control of my actions.
My wolf was.
And still is, even now, as the ride drags on and Mrs. Barron gives us her boring speech on the purpose of this trip.

No matter how hard I try to pay attention, the woman's voice keeps dissappearing in my head like vapor on a hot day. I ball my fists and dig into my palms, trying to trigger my healing so that my body has something to focus on, other than the somewhat 50 beating hearts suffocating me.
My only desire is to fling out my claws and slash their throats, allowing their warm, fresh blood to drip down my hands satisfyingly and flood this suddenly tight bus.

I asked Talia what I would do when the full moon came, since I knew it was approaching. She told me to trust myself, remember her teaching from other full moons.
Remember my anchor.
The only anchor I've ever had was my father- which I recently discovered at school. Talia thinks it's because I grieve him. And for a while, I thought it too. Hadn't given it much attention, actually.
But now that I think of it, it's not grief that makes him my anchor...
It's anger. And love. And hate. And all things combined.

How could he leave us? Was it because he was human? Or was it something my mother did...

What frustrates me the most is the lies  we were told.
When we first moved into the Hale house, my mother said it was only going to be for a few days. Said that her and my father were fighting. Needed some time apart.
I was too young to understand or question anything back then. But as I grew older, the lies seemed more prominent. Especially since a few days turned into a few years.

Whenever we'd ask her about him, she'd tell us different things, such as: he kicked us out, abandoned us, went back to Turkey, didn't want monsters for a family, went mad...died.

Eventually Emel, Taylan and I stopped asking, and made a pact with each other to accept that the man had simply vanished, and that we would not speak about him anymore.

I close my eyes and only think of my anchor... Remembering his smile, his scent, anything and everything I can recall, and feel myself slowly grabbing hold of my wolf.
I exhale, relieved.
This might be the first full moon I survive without the help of Talia.

▪️ ▪️ ▪️

I don't know how the time went, between me struggling to keep myself under control, and Lucy trying to cuddle me- not to mention Natalie, who remained in her uncomfortable position, against the window the whole time.
The sun dips away, turning the sky into a dark sea of clouds, revealing a large, white moon.

My hands shake, claws itch. I've held it back long enough.
The wolf wants to break free.
Gold covers eyes, and canines extend to fangs.

Panick buzzes like a million bees, swarming around me, ready to sting.
I start sweating- dripping, more like- with fear. And bloodlust.
Involuntarily, I begin hyperventilating.

Lucy notices. And so does Natalie.

"Nes... Are you... Okay?" My friend's voice shakes.
I open my mouth to speak, but accidentally let out a low growl.
Natalie gasps.
"No..." is all I then manage.
To my astonishment, Lucy says, "We have to stop. Now."
"Wh-What do you mean?" Natalie mumbles.
"I mean we have to find a way to stop this bus, right now."

I've been crouching to try and hide myself in this state.
Being so near is bad enough, but looking at them will leave me absolutely no control over the bloodlust...
Not forgetting exposing the secret to two humans.

Suddenly, like little fireworks cracking in a silent night, Lucy's whispering tickles my ears as she speaks an ancient, foreign language I've never heard in my life.
Confusion overtakes me as the bus jerks and groans till it comes to a stop.

Students start talking at once, and Mrs. Barron stands up, trying to quiet them down. My hearing is more profound tonight, just as my other abilities are, and her voice is clear over the babbling students,
"Everybody remain calm! The bus seems to have broken down! We're going to stop for a bit until the problem is fixed! Do not panic!"
And with that, the bus doors open.

While the wild teenagers rush for the exit, Lucy grabs me hard, and I let her steer me out, and onto the highway.
Before I have time to look up, Lucy whispers,"Run, Nes."
So I do.