Hyunjin wiped away the steam from the mirror to see his reflection. He stared for a second, seeing flaws no one else could, especially not his best friend.
**Sequel to impact- I highly recommend you read impact first so you'll know what's going on h...
They sat there for a good long while before she finally spoke. "My butt's asleep," she said, matter-of-factly. Hyunjin cracked up and stood to help her stand. She was a little wobbly which made him laugh that much harder. She smiled hearing him laugh. She stepped close and wrapped her arms around his waist. She hugged him tightly and he hugged her back.
"Thank you," he whispered as he held onto her. They decided to go get some lunch before her class started and then Hyunjin headed home. The guys had decided to take the night off from practice because Felix's knee was acting up. Hyunjin had already gotten his practice time in, so he didn't feel too bad about one night. On the walk home, he pulled out his phone and saw that Seungmin had messaged him earlier. He didn't respond to it but sent Seungmin a different message.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
---
Seungmin jumped when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He hoped it was Hyunjin. Seungmin was really worried about him after the speed and severity of the attack that morning. He was more worried over the way Hyunjin spoke to him. It wasn't like him to be cold.
He read the two short messages and laid his phone down, sighing heavily. Hyunjin was hurt this morning, or worried, one or the other. Seungmin wanted to talk to him. He'd never gotten something like that from him. "Don't answer." He knew Hyunjin didn't want to talk to him right now. He would honor it as long as he could stand it.
Just as he was putting his phone back in his pocket, he got a message from Leo.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Seungmin had all but forgotten they were supposed to go out that night. If he was honest, he didn't really want to, but if he cancelled, Leo would assume, correctly, that it was because of Hyunjin. That would ruin everything. He didn't want to wreck this because he allowed himself to think Hyunjin was accepting his feelings.
---
Hyunjin looked at his last message to Seungmin at least ten times that day. He hadn't talked to Seungmin in three days. He hadn't even called him when he had an attack on the second day. He missed his best friend, but really just needed to put some space there. He laid his phone down and rolled over, praying for a peaceful night.
---
The room was dark, almost black as Hyunjin tried to make his way through it. The floor creaked beneath his feet. He could hear Seungmin, each sound breaking his heart a little more as it echoed off of the walls. The heavy breathing, the guttural moans, the whispered words all hung in the air around him, like poison fog. He kept moving toward them, he needed to tell them to stop, that it was destroying him. He moved through the pitch, hands splayed in front of him to keep from hitting anything. The voices were right in front of him. He put his hands out to find... something... They came to rest on the bed. He heard the click of the lamp and looked, broken, at the shapes that it illuminated. He froze, met by his own eyes. It was him. He was the one causing Seungmin to make those sinful sounds. But it wasn't him. It was some sinister version of him. The figure reached out to him, pushing him away with all his might, causing Hyunjin to stumble backward. The floor creaked beneath him and swallowed him as it collapsed. He screamed as his eyes sprung open, gripping the sheets beneath him as though they would stop the fall. His breathing was far beyond control, but he pushed. Phone gripped in his hand, he forced himself to calm down. "Slow down. Breathe. Slow down..." he repeated to himself, mimicking Seungmin's instructions until he fell back to sleep.
---
That week was hell for Seungmin. Hyunjin hadn't messaged him, hadn't called him. He was not only missing his best friend, but he was worried about him. He went to check that his ringer was on and finally broke and just sent a message.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Hyunjin heard his phone go off, but he didn't even pick it up. He really didn't care who it might be. He hadn't heard from Seungmin in a week. That was sort of okay because it gave him some time to think and figure out what he needed to do with all of this. He wanted Seungmin to be happy, so if he needed to step back and let Seungmin be with Leo, he would. He had started exclusively using the stairs to avoid running into Seungmin. He saw the happy couple a few times coming into the building as he was coming about to exit the stairwell. He always just waited. It was better that way.
Hyunjin had danced for hours that day but was still wired, so he decided he'd do a quick workout to help work out the rest of his energy. He finished up and went to the bathroom to take a hot shower. He knew he'd be done for after that and maybe, just maybe, he'd sleep through the whole night.
---
Leo had gotten very comfortable with staying over at Seungmin's place after a date. They had gotten a little physical, but Seungmin was standing his ground and just wanted to wait a while before they had sex. He honestly wasn't sure why he was making the man wait. He'd been infinitely patient and Seungmin was a hell of a tease. That night, after a particularly intense make-out session, Seungmin had tried to slow them down. Leo had gotten a little aggressive, pushing for more. He wasn't rough, but he was insistent. Seungmin kept telling Leo that he just wasn't ready, and finally, Leo asked "What? Are you saving it for Hyunjin?" Seungmin froze in shock and Leo actually got pissed enough to go sleep on the couch. It left Seungmin feeling very strange, angry, and a little concerned. He didn't think Leo would act like that. He finally curled up with an extra pillow after checking his phone once more. Hyunjin hadn't even looked at his messages. He was starting to think maybe Hyunjin had turned off notifications or muted him. The thought hurt him, and it was worse when coupled with what was going on for him and Leo at the moment. He tried to keep himself together, but he couldn't help the sob that slipped from his lips as his tears flowed hot onto his pillow.
---
Leo heard the sound of Seungmin's muffled sobs and felt terrible. He was getting impatient and he had no right to. Seungmin didn't owe him anything. It wasn't fair to put that kind of pressure on him, and it was worse to make Seungmin feel bad about it. He stood and walked back to the bedroom, climbing into the bed and wrapping Seungmin up in his arms, pulling the smaller man's back tightly to his chest. He kissed the back of Seungmin's head and whispered, "I'm sorry."
Feeling Leo so close when what he really wanted was to hold Hyunjin was more than he could handle. His sobs became heavier and he just buried his head into the pillow. Leo sighed deeply and moved back to turn Seungmin toward him. He pulled his boyfriend into his chest and swept his fingers through his hair, whispering, "shhhhh, it's okay. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." Everything Leo did was reminding him of Hyunjin. He knew Leo thought it was his fault Seungmin was so upset, and for right now, he was ok with letting Leo think that, because it was part of it, but he couldn't explain it if he tried.
