Straight-ish (Hwang Hyunjin Fanfic)

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Seungmin led a very sleepy Hyunjin into the apartment, kicked off his shoes, and dropped Hyunjin's dance bag by the door. Hyunjin slipped his own shoes off and started toward the couch. Seungmin turned him abruptly toward the bedroom, knowing that if the boy fell asleep out there, he wouldn't be able to wake Hyunjin up. Hyunjin whined softly, causing Seungmin to grin at him and urge him toward the bed. Hyunjin was ready to collapse but Seungmin had him sit on the side of the bed so he could at least pull off the hoodie Hyunjin had been wearing. If he were to wake up in a panic, the restriction of a hoodie would tip him into a full attack. Seungmin had seen that before. Hyunjin had a few glasses of wine, so Seungmin was a little concerned anyway. He didn't give Hyunjin his sleep meds because he didn't really think he would need them that night. Seungmin wanted to make sure that Hyunjin could wake up if he needed to. Since they were both already in sweats, they turned off the lights and curled up together.

Seungmin often laid awake and thought about how natural it all felt, to be lying in Hyunjin's bed. They had made the decision to move in together very quickly, but they were together overnight so often anyway that it just made sense. Hyunjin lay, curled against Seungmin with his hand on Seungmin's chest and his leg woven over and through his boyfriend's legs. Seungmin strummed his fingers through Hyunjin's hair and hummed softly, hoping for a peaceful night for his love. He had a bit of trouble sleeping because of his concern. Finally, while listening to the steady rhythm of Hyunjin's breathing, Seungmin drifted off. He woke with a start a few hours later when Hyunjin began to whimper in his sleep. Hyunjin gripped Seungmin's shirt and began to rock back and forth as though he were falling into a panic. Seungmin wrapped his arms around Hyunjin and softly spoke to him, "Jinnie. Jinnie, baby, wake up." Seungmin kissed his head as he held Hyunjin tightly, putting more pressure against his back and pulling him closer. He could feel Hyunjin's racing heart and the whimpers that were slowly getting louder. "Come on, baby, wake up. Jinnie. Jinnie..." Seungmin continued to call to him. Suddenly, Hyunjin began to violently fight against Seungmin, his breath coming in short sobs as he began to cry in his sleep, "No. No. No..." he continued. Seungmin pressed him onto his back and turned his own body on top of Hyunjin's, increasing the weight and pressure to help Hyunjin calm down. He pressed his lips to Hyunjin's ear and called to him quietly, "Jinnie, I need you to wake up. Come find me. Baby, wake up." Hyunjin woke with a deep gasp, confused because of the position and the pressure on him. The moment he inhaled Seungmin's familiar scent, he calmed. He gripped Seungmin tightly and sighed deeply, feeling the sobs still racking through his chest.

"Thank you, Seungminnie," he whispered. Between the medication and Seungmin's ever-evolving perfection in how he cared for Hyunjin, he had gone a whole week without a major panic attack. This was something of a record for Hyunjin.

Seungmin raised up on his elbow, taking his weight off of Hyunjin. He brushed his fingers over Hyunjin's cheeks, wiping away the tears. "You okay?" he whispered. Hyunjin nodded in answer. Seungmin cupped his cheek then kissed him softly, lingering for just a bit to enjoy the soft feeling of Hyunjin's lips. He pulled away and looked lovingly into Hyunjin's eyes. Hyunjin seemed to be far away, his eyes fathomless. Seungmin was just about to ask where he was when Hyunjin laced his fingers into Seungmin's hair and pulled him back to his lips. Hot tears continued to stream from his eyes as he pursued Seungmin. He whimpered softly, simply from the frustration of not being able to get any closer. Seungmin shifted so that his weight was once again on top of Hyunjin's body. The action drew a gentle moan from Hyunjin's throat that set a fire in Seungmin's core. Hyunjin's hands were wandering down Seungmin's back, grasping at the fabric of his shirt, clumsily pulling upward to get it off of him. Seungmin reached over his head, gripping the fabric between his shoulders and pulled it off in one easy motion. His lips roamed over Hyunjin's jaw, nipping at his earlobe and then settling in the soft skin just in front of it, causing Hyunjin to whither beneath him, the moan unmistakable this time. Seungmin slid his hands beneath Hyunjin's shirt, rising the soft cotton up his body and with Hyunjin's help, he slid it over Hyunjin's head and tossed it to the floor. Hyunjin pushed upward, flipping Seungmin onto his back. He made his way down Seungmin's chest eagerly, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake. Seungmin's head was spinning as he felt Hyunjin's fingers slip into the waistband of his sweats. He didn't want to stop but he was afraid of Hyunjin's sudden boldness. "Baby," he whispered hoarsely, his voice constricted with need. He gripped Hyunjin's hands tightly and held him still for a moment. "Jinnie?" he asked.

Hyunjin looked up to him, confused. He knew what he needed, what he wanted to give to Seungmin, and he was suddenly terrified that Seungmin didn't want his gift. 

Seungmin tried to read everything on Hyunjin's quiet face, but he was at a loss. There was fear, and need, and love, but there was also so much more. He knew this was different. If he didn't stop it, they wouldn't stop. He moved his fingers to stroke Hyunjin's cheek, once again wet with tears. "Baby, are you sure you're ready?" he whispered.