Straight-ish (Hwang Hyunjin Fanfic)

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Hyunjin sat upright, gasping for air and actually swinging his arms as he reached for something to hold on to as he fell. He was disoriented and couldn't quite connect the idea that he was awake. He saw the clock said midnight. He didn't know if was real. He felt like he was in a cycle where something horrible was coming. He felt the panic creeping up and watched as the shadows in the room began to close in on him. His breathing became rapid and shallow as the adrenaline flooded his veins. He looked around, trying to keep his eyes on everything at once. Something in the corner seemed to move and he slipped into the chaos of the attack. He fumbled for his phone but like the other nights, he tried to fight. He fought so hard to come back. He looked at the number, almost dialing it. He went to his messages. He didn't think he'd be able to talk. It was happening too fast. He started trying to type but couldn't breathe. His head was swimming, and then he passed out, falling back on the bed.

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Seungmin woke up with a feeling of dread. He marked it up to the way he had fallen asleep. He looked at Leo, sleeping peacefully beside him and his stomach did an odd flip. He'd felt it before, but he ignored it. He wanted it to be Hyunjin there so badly that his breath began to hitch again as his eyes started watering. He listened to the brewing storm outside and closed his eyes. The thunder was rumbling and helping him to calm down. He fell back to sleep listening to the rain hitting the windows above his bed.

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Hyunjin startled out of bed, hitting the floor in a full panic. The lightning storm outside had set him off, scaring him out of a deep sleep and a dream he was pretty sure he didn't want to remember. The thunder cracked, rattling the windows of his apartment and he fumbled for his phone. He couldn't deal with it again. The shadows were creeping around with claws and talons. The building was coming down around him. With shaking hands, he touched Seungmin's contact as his breathing began to get out of control. Each thunder crack was causing him to jump and become more frightened.

Leo woke up when the phone rang and reached to answer it. Seungmin snatched the phone from his hand when he realized it was Hyunjin's ring tone. Leo immediately sat up, watching Seungmin answer the phone.

He answered just as the sky lit up again and the thunder roared loudly. Hyunjin screamed on the other end of the line.

Seungmin bolted out of bed, grabbed his keys, and ran barefoot down the stairs, not willing to wait for the elevator. He ran into Hyunjin's door, hitting it with a thud that drew another scream from the terrified man on the other side. He jammed his key in the lock and raced into Hyunjin's room. At first, Hyunjin tried to back away because he couldn't tell if Seungmin was real. It always broke Seungmin to see Hyunjin become so overwhelmed by his fears. He knelt beside Hyunjin and began to talk to him, whispering softly, "Jinnie, Hyunjin, look at me. Look at me, baby. Jinnie, I'm here. He opened his arms and Hyunjin clung to him, climbing right up into his lap, curled into a ball. Seungmin wasn't particularly strong, but he had enough strength right now to lift a car off of this man. He scooped his arm under Hyunjin's knees and got to his own, rising up from the floor and settling them both onto Hyunjin's bed. He just sat and held Hyunjin, rocking him like a child and whispering softly, "It's okay. I'm here. You're safe. Breathe. Breathe. That's it, nice and slow..." Hyunjin finally began to calm down, but he remained huddled into Seungmin's chest. He felt safe there. He knew Seungmin wouldn't let anything happen to him. He found solace in the whispered words against his ear. "Breathe, slow down. That's it, baby, slow down. I'm here." He realized with sudden clarity that Seungmin had called him "baby". He looked up to his friend with red-rimmed eyes. He didn't say anything. He just watched Seungmin. He felt safe. He felt warm. He felt... loved. Seungmin continued to rock him, finally turning on the bed to lay him down, pulling the blanket back up over him.

Hyunjin gripped his hand and whispered, "Please don't leave me," as his lip quivered, and his eyes began to gloss over with tears threatening to fall.

Seungmin smiled softly and shook his head. "I'm not going anywhere. Just need to go close your door. I left it standing wide open."

Hyunjin watched him walk into what he now realized was a too bright living room and realized there was a shadow at the door. He heard Seungmin talking then getting a little loud. Leo was at his door, trying to get Seungmin to come back. Seungmin told him he couldn't leave and that's when Leo got pissed and started yelling. Hyunjin rose and walked to the bedroom door, watching what was happening. Seungmin stood quietly while Leo ranted. Leo looked up and saw Hyunjin and tried to push past Seungmin. With his size and strength, he should have easily pushed Seungmin to the floor. Seungmin gripped the door frame and yelled at him, "GO HOME LEO! AND LOSE MY FUCKING NUMBER!" Leo froze, stopped pushing and stepped back, shocked. Seungmin closed the door in his face, bolting it shut. Hyunjin continued watching as Seungmin came back to him and led him back to the bed. Seungmin climbed in and opened the blanket up for Hyunjin to lay down as he had done so many nights before. Seungmin wrapped Hyunjin up in his arms and held him close while the storm raged on. He could feel Hyunjin jumping with the really loud cracks of thunder and felt him tense when the lightning was bad, in dread of the thunder that would follow.

Suddenly, softly, Hyunjin spoke. "Why do you take care of me when I'm like this?" It wasn't the first time he asked that question.

Seungmin looked into his eyes and felt a different sort of intimacy than he usually did. Hyunjin was looking at him with such a confused, almost desperate gaze. Seungmin kissed his forehead, as he had done a hundred times before and whispered, "Because you need me. I'll always be here when you need me."

Hyunjin felt his heartbeat hard in his chest at the whispered words but pushed for more. "Seungmin, do you..." he trailed off, ashamed to ask the question, but more fearful of the answer.

"Do I what, Jin?" Seungmin asked softly.

"Nevermind," Hyunjin mumbled. He couldn't handle it right now if the answer was no, and he didn't want to do anything to cause Seungmin to leave, because Hyunjin really did need him.

Seungmin placed a finger under Hyunjin's chin and lifted his head gently, asking again, "Do I what, Jin?"

Hyunjin sighed deeply, his breath still catching in short hiccups. He closed his eyes for a second then looked into Seungmin's, hoping and praying he was right. "Do you love me?" Hyunjin whispered so quietly that Seungmin almost didn't hear him. Almost.

"You know I do, Jin," he answered softly, stroking Hyunjin's hair back. He added, "You're my best friend." As he spoke, he saw a strange quiver cross Hyunjin's lips.

Hyunjin sighed softly, hiding his face against the other's chest. He mumbled into Seungmin's shirt, "I mean... Are you in love with me?" Seungmin felt his own heart begin to pound. If he answered honestly, would it destroy their friendship? He was terrified. What did Hyunjin want him to say? He suddenly felt his shirt become damp and hot and realized that Hyunjin was quietly crying again. He was so fragile and Seungmin needed to protect Hyunjin more that he needed air.

Seungmin swallowed hard and whispered, "I'm scared."

"Please just tell me," Hyunjin pleaded softly.

Seungmin sighed, pulling Hyunjin tighter to him and whispered, "Yes, Hyunjin. I am very much in love with you. Please don't hate me. I know you don't feel the..." His sentence was cut off by Hyunjin's lips pressing against his.

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