Straight-ish (Hwang Hyunjin Fanfic)

28

They had planned to move to a two-bedroom apartment, just to accommodate all their things. Seungmin had left Hyunjin's place to change clothes or bring down things from the fridge he didn't want to go to waste since they got together. He was there two or three times a week before that. They agreed that it just seemed silly to pay rent on two places. Right now, though, with Hyunjin's injury, he wouldn't be able to work, which would cramp their funds for the move. And with the performance coming up, he knew Hyunjin's stress level would be insane because he couldn't practice. He looked around and decided that he needed to take a few steps to ease that stress on both of them. He pulled out his laptop and started making up a flyer to post in the apartment complex to sublet his place, furnished. He had about six months remaining on his lease. He talked with the manager and asked if they'd be willing to help him find someone. Then, if the individual was interested in staying, he'd make them a deal on all the major furnishings. Okay. That's one problem taken care of. Next, classes. Hyunjin was going to be off of work for two weeks. Aside from going crazy, he was going to be panicking about his classes. Seungmin talked to Felix at the hospital and knew he could take one. Minho agreed to take on one of them. He asked Isa for Maria's number and had called her as well. She was taking on one more. So, three of his five classes each week were covered. No one could really take on more than that. They still needed to figure out the other two.

Income was going to send Hyunjin into a panic. Seungmin called the studio and set an appointment to speak with the production manager and Mr. Nam about increasing his hours. He made decent money at the restaurant when he tended bar, but because Leo was a pain in the ass, he had rearranged his bartending schedule. The manager was too interested in keeping customers to worry about making employees comfortable. Leo had gotten lewd and just ridiculous lately. Seungmin knew it stressed Hyunjin out. He wasn't jealous, exactly, but worried that since he wasn't ready to move into a more physical relationship, Leo had ample opportunity to turn Seungmin's head. The easiest way to combat that was to change his schedule and miss Leo's frequent visits. He was hosting more, which didn't pay as well. He'd gladly give up that gig to work at the studio in any capacity.

After thinking through all of that, he rested his head against the back of the couch and closed his eyes. He woke a little later to toes poking him in the ribs. "Whaaaaaat?" he asked playfully, grabbing Hyunjin's foot.

"Come up here," Hyunjin whined. Seungmin obliged, crawling across the couch to settle between Hyunjin's legs and lay his head down. Seungmin was still amazed that every time he got close to Hyunjin, his senses were overwhelmed. From Hyunjin's natural scent to the temperature of his skin, everything about him was intoxicating. He wondered if that would ever change and hoped the answer was no. Hyunjin started to slip his fingers through Seungmin's hair. "Thank you for taking such good care of me," he whispered.

Seungmin grinned sadly, turned his head and kissed Hyunjin's thigh then mumbled, "I don't feel like I looked after you very well, last night. I didn't even know you were up."

Hyunjin clicked his tongue and answered, "That's because I tried to keep from waking you. I can remember bits and pieces. I know there was a bad nightmare, and that I came out here. You haven't slept an entire night in days. I didn't want to wake you up. I remember when the attack started, the way things looked. I didn't move fast enough to get back to you. Then I got lost." He finished with a shrug. "It happens a lot. I wake up, come out here, calm myself down and go back to bed. Even before we got together."

Seungmin looked up to him sadly and asked, "How often did you have attacks and not call me?"

"Seungminnie, if I called you every time, you'd never sleep. Sometimes, I could calm myself down. Sometimes, I think I pass out. That's why I either stay in bed or lay on the couch. That way, if I do, it won't be bad. Some nights I wake up on the floor. It's just part of dealing with it," he sighed.

Seungmin sat up and looked at him, considering the nonchalant attitude he had about it, and sighed deeply. "Jinnie, I've suggested it in the past. I'm not suggesting now. We're going to make an appointment with your doctor and get you to a counselor or psychologist," he stated. It wasn't up for debate anymore. Seungmin had no idea it was this bad. He thought the increase he was seeing was because of the stress, not realizing that this was actually Hyunjin's reality every day.

Hyunjin immediately shook his head back and forth, wincing as he did so. "I don't want somebody poking around in my head. I have enough trouble without that. And you know the medication doesn't work," he grumbled.

"If by poking around, you mean helping you figure out where it's all coming from, tough. You're making yourself sick, and you're worrying me to death. I had all of our friends at the hospital at 4am today because you got hurt as a result of this. Minho pointed out how much weight you've lost. You're always so bundled up because you're freezing that I didn't see it. It's driving me crazy!" Seungmin argued.

Hyunjin was getting testy. "I don't want to," he stated as though it would end the conversation.

Seungmin was getting frustrated. His voice wavered as he asked, "Please, Jinnie. If you don't want the help, do it for me. I need to know you're alright."

Hyunjin got a little irritated that Seungmin would lay the "do it for me" card on the table but couldn't deny that he had watched his boyfriend become increasingly stressed out each night. He sighed and asked, "Can we talk about it a little later, please. I need to think about it."

"Hyunjin, what is there to think about?" Seungmin asked softly. He sighed and left Hyunjin sitting on the sofa. He walked into the bedroom and laid down on the bed. The stress of the last 12 hours finally got the best of him and hot tears began to roll onto his pillow. He didn't know what else to say to Hyunjin to help him. He needed a break. He needed to sleep.

Hyunjin sat on the sofa, staring out the apartment window and trying to figure out why he was so damn stubborn. Worst case, therapy and medication wouldn't help, and he'd have a large medical bill to deal with, on top of the one he wracked up last night. Best case, it would help. The nightmares would decrease, and he'd stop having these freaking attacks, or at least they would become less frequent. He and Seungmin would be able to sleep a whole night, and Seungmin wouldn't have to sacrifice so much to take care of him. He sighed heavily then rose up to go tell Seungmin he'd go.

When he got to the bedroom, his head was swimming a little. He felt that the floor looked very inviting for a moment and decided to sit there instead of losing the ability to choose. After a few moments, he crawled over to the bed and used it to help himself up. Obviously, Seungmin was asleep, or he'd have panicked by now. Hyunjin climbed into the bed and curled around him. Seungmin stirred slightly, wrapping his arm around Hyunjin's waist. Hyunjin smiled at the comfort the small gesture brought him. "Seungminnie, let's call the doctor tomorrow and get the ball rolling," he whispered. 

Seungmin kissed his forehead and answered with a sleepy, "Thank you, Baby," before drifting off again.