𝐒𝐌𝐇 | bts crackfic ✔️

6

jin slammed his fist on the table and pointed at jungkook. "what the fuck is this big thigh beast smiling about??? i will not stand for this any longer!"

namjoon looked at jin, his glasses at the tip of his nose like a sexy librarian. "jin, you're sitting down."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, ASSJOON. I DID NOT ASK." jin shouted, kicking namjoon in the throat.

yoongi leaned back and put his feet on the table. "we all know jungkook is secretly a pervert. he's probably thinking about underage rabbits getting it on or sum."

"yah, getcho stank ass canoe feet OFF the table." hoseok said, pushing the man's feet away with a disgusted look.

taehyung chuckled. "hoho hobi! the character development looks great on you! what are you gonna do now? you trynna roast me, sunshine?"

hoseok eyed him. "how does it feel being the only one to not have abs in this household? you fatass pig-ass bitch. go to the gym you roach!"

"feelings status: hurt." taehyung sighed.

-

"jimin?"

"yes lord hali?"

hali sighed as she picked at the rip in her jeans. the heater, clicking of a clock, and their breaths filled the atmosphere. "are you good at keeping secrets?"

jimin scoffed. "psh! who the fuck do you think i am? some dirty snitch? of course i can keep a secret."

"well the dirty part-"

"are you gonna tell me the tea or should i just throw you out the window right now because i will not hesitate." he threatened and opened the window.

"i'm dating jungkook."

"YOURE DATING JUNGKOOK-"

hali's eyes widened and she quickly shoved her fist into the short man's mouth. "you lyin' ass bitch."

-

"YOURE DATING JUNGKOOK-"

the loud statement echoed throughout the house.

"melatonin pills are just for sleeping right? cuz i just heard the weirdest thing in my head right now lmao." yoongi asked and chuckled lightly, but his face fell seeing everyone's face.

"HE TOUCHED YOUR ASS-"

"okay i'm throwing these melatonin pills away."

namjoon stood up, his chair falling over. "jeon jungkook."

jungkook's eyebrow twitched as he swallowed a lump in his throat. he avoided eye contact with the other guys. "y-yessir."

"did i hear that big lipped bitch correctly?"

"did y'all fuck is the real question." taehyung interrupted. "did you get le pussay?"

namjoon whipped around. "god dammit tae, why the fuck are you alivE????"

"no i didn't, taehyung." jungkook answered.

taehyung sighed. "damn😔."

yoongi came back into the room. "wait so it wasn't my melatonin pills deceiving me????"

"yoongi you're dumb." jin rolled his eyes. "HALI. GET THE FUCK OVER HERE BEFORE MY NEW SHOES END UP IN YOUR ESOPHAGUS."

i hope everyone is staying healthy and safe right now!! miss rona really do be bullying us😔✋as a californian, lemme tell you things are kinda wEiRd rn🗿🗿🗿uhhh yeth make sure you guys wash your hands and stay inside

i'm starting online classes next week and idk how that's gonna go-

might post another update tomorrow, hopefully lmfao!

-hali