𝐒𝐌𝐇 | bts crackfic ✔️

14 e

"you're crazy."

"i know."

-

valentine's day. february 14th. on the 14th chapter.

you're probably thinking 'omg an update! how exciting! i can't wait to laugh!'.

don't get your hopes up, babe. you might crack a little smile though and maybe, just maybe, i'll give you my infamous bunny grin in return.

-

"how can it rain on fucking valentine's day! PREPOSTEROUS I TELL YOU!" jimin wailed.

taehyung huffed. "i had an appointment today."

"tae-"

"it's exactly what you're thinking." taehyung raised his eyebrows up and down, holding a v symbol to his mouth.

"gross." namjoon frowned.

tae scoffed. "okay namjoon but can you get pussay?"

the older looked down and twiddled his thumbs. "i must stay loyal to the crabs."

"of course a peasant would say some shit like that. i almost feel bad." jin said as he rolled his eyes. "almost."

yoongi rolled over to face his 'friends' and let out an obnoxiously fugly groan. "i think we should go to the beach."

"but it's raining my g????" hobi added with displeasure.

"what do you mean bruv it's a perfect day outside. beautiful gray and cloudy skies. rain harshly hitting the ground. the faint sound of thunder and children's screams. how lovely." yoongi sighed dreamily. "the beach awaits me."

jimin scooted away. "this bitch kinda weird ngl..."

hobi squinted. "it's sounds interesting. i've never been to the beach while it was raining. maybe we should go."

-

"y'all this might be a crazy thing to ask but- can i drive?" namjoon asked.

jin stared at him. "you? drive? BAHA no."

"hoe doesn't have a license. hey hoe that's a no~" taehyung sang as he fanned himself with his driver's license.

namjoon fell to his knees. "please! i beg of you! let me drive! i've been practicing! i promise nothing bad will happen!"

hobi patted jin's shoulder. "come on man. he seems desperate."

"fine."

-

"see? look how good i am at driving!" namjoon shouted over the music.

"stop fucking turning over to look at us, you moron. keep your eyes on the road. if you lead us to our death, i'll kill yo ass." yoongi grumbled as he grabbed onto namjoon's head, pushing him to look forward.

namjoon you oomf.

"sorry! what was that? i couldn't hear you!" he yelled turning over again.

jimin kicked seokjin's seat, making sure he would feel immense pain in his back. "jIN TURN DOWN YOUR STUPID MUSIC OH MY GOD."

"FUCK OFF." he yelled back.

the car suddenly went over a speed bump, which startled namjoon.

jin looked over at the driver. "commoner, what was that?"

namjoon shrugged. "just a speed bump."

hobi reached over to turn down the music. "um...there aren't any speed bumps on this route though.."