𝐒𝐌𝐇 | bts crackfic ✔️

7 (jk'sBACK/ COVID-19 special)

"-the state is currently going under lockdown and we ask of you all to stay home. self quarantine shall commence and you should only go outside if truly necessary-" the old newslady announced on the tv.

"fuckkkk i wanted to go on a shopping trip." jin pouted.

jungkook shrugged. "it eez what it eez-"

"shut the fuck up you ugly bastard." jin rolled his eyes.

jimin leaned back, a beer in his hand. "the only reason why kook isn't complaining is because this is the perfect chance to get-"

"PUSSY!" taehyung yelled enthusiastically.

"-a win on overwatch.."

-

their day started out pretty chill. yoongi went upstairs to go back to sleep. namjoon was watching youtube videos, studying crabs(the kind you find on the beach). jin locked himself in the bathroom to stare at his reflection. jimin was watching itaewon class while jungkook and hali slept on the couch. hobi was barking at the neighbors dog through the window. taehyung was sat inside hali's pantry, stuffing his face with five different snacks at a time.

-

jimin shook his head in disappointment. "soo-ah is a whole ass gold digger that hasn't done ANYTHING for saeroyi, and yet he still likes her oh my fucking god. the stupidity is immaculate."

hali moved a little which caused jungkook to hang slightly off the couch. "yah, pipe down you smurf whore. you're not far from stupid either." jungkook grumbled.

-

yoongi closed the curtains and crawled into the guest bed. he pulled the duvet over his shoulders and snuggled into the pillow with a small smile.

"night night." he sighed sleepily.

-

"wahhh baby crabs are so cute. i wanna go to the beach now!" namjoon cried out, throwing a silent fit; he kicked his legs fast and pulled his hair while sitting in front of the laptop. he eventually stopped and closed his eyes. "calm down namjoon. it's okay. breathe. baby crabs will always be at the beach and that will never change. i can see them some other time." he whispered, breathing in and out.

-

"i have never seen another man like me EVER. this is a sign from the heavens. obviously, i'm limited edition." jin sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. "after the new girl came to our friend group, my slight wrinkles have suddenly disappeared! hali, i could never say this to you directly, but you too, are limited edition."

since jin was there, he decided to explore the contents of hali's bathroom. "what's this? OoOooO expensive fancy lotion! don't mind if i do." jin raised his eyebrows, putting some on his hands. "damn this shit smells amazing!!"

-

"woof woof motherfucker!" hobi shouted and stuck out his tongue.

the dog barked louder and stuck his tongue out as well.

hobi rolled his eyes. "bitch, go take a god damn bath! you look like my grandma on a hot summer day dipped in mud! woof woof!"

clearly pissed off, the dog started to shriek, a sound hobi never knew dogs could ever make. he shuddered as the dog's stare and shrieking intensified.

jimin shouted from the other room. "hoseok! stop fucking war crying at the neighbors dog and be normaL."

-

bruh i wasn't expecting jungkook to smell this good. i could get used to thiS. hali smirked with her eyes still closed.

jungkook groaned quietly. she keeps pushing me over the edge. should i kindly ask her to move over? but i don't want to wake her up. fuck it. jungkook sighed and just pushed hali over. hali opened her eyes widely and glared at him.

"bitch i was comfortable right where i was."

-

taehyung leaned back with a satisfied face as he continued to eat. he took a bite out of a donut and moaned. "fuck i love hali so much for this. she's a real g for stacking up on so many munchies."

jimin turned up the volume of the tv to cancel out taehyung's weird food antics.

"SWEET FUCKING MAMA SHE HAS SPICY RAMEN OH MY GODDDDD."

-

time passed and eventually everyone was back downstairs.

"you gotta admit, they are a cute couple." yoongi said to the group and smiled, watching the two laugh at eachother. they were trying to kick each others ankles and jungkook successfully kicked hali to the floor. jungkook held his fists up high in triumph.

hali stared at him. "fuck yoU."

jungkook nodded in amusement. "ight if that's a promise, tell me when and where."

it was all fun and games until hali shoved a cup full of ice into jungkook's pants, causing the male to cry in pain. hali chortled.

the group stared at them, dumbfounded. "okay maybe not the cutest couple-"

HI I MADE A QUICK CHAPTER TO DISTRACT ME FROM THE FACT THAT MY HOUSE IS BASICALLY HAUNTED