𝐒𝐌𝐇 | bts crackfic ✔️

10 (table turning)

the sun slowly rose, its rays shining into hali's eyes. she blinked slowly at the clock, 10:03 am. she yawned, sleepily turning over and hit jungkook in the back. "bruh, go make me some breakfast."

"shut upppp give me five more minutes." jungkook groaned.

"i said make me breakfast you whore." hali sighed, throwing him off the bed.

the man collided with the floor, the sound echoing through the quiet house. his hip cracked when he stood up.

hali crossed her arms. "make it snappy. i'm hungry sir."

something in his eyes flickered for a moment as he slowly made his way over to her. jungkook put his hands on her waist, his eyes bored into hers. hali put her hands at his chest, gesturing for him to stop. he was shirtless; his skin was warm and his breath was steady. the sunrise slipping over their room and slight whispers of the ocean waves crashing against the shore made the atmosphere euphoric. jungkook rested his forehead on hali's. "yeah? well i'm only hungry for your love."

a blush crept onto the author's face when jungkook started to lean in.

then something flew through their window, the glass shattering and hitting the floor.

"OI, WHERE IS THAT BITCH? I WANT MY MONEY BAC- you're not kenny..?" the person paused in confusion. "BLOODY HELL- AM I WITNESSING A HARASSMENT RIGHT NOW????? CODE RED IM IN NEED OF BACKUP LADIES." she screamed. "YOU! RIGHT THERE! WITH THE WHIMPY ABS! I COMMAND YOU TO LET GO OF THE GIRL RIGHT NOW BEFORE MY METAL POLE GOES STRAIGHT INTO YOUR ASSHOLE!"

hali's eyes widened. "seopi-?"

jungkook released hali and quickly distanced himself, shook as fuck.

two other girls struggled through the window. "you fucking bitch. you told me the man would probably be dead before you would even need backup. my ass was chowing down on the most divine ramen and then i hear one lousy hoe screaming code red- which wasn't even apart of our fucking code words. you scared the shit out of me and i dropped my precious noodles all over clara." the girl motioned over to another with a large stain on her pants.

"thanks emma." clara flipped emma off. "wait a damn minute...who the hell are they? you said we were gonna rob your money back from kenny."

seopi shifted her weight, glass cracking under her feet. "it seems that i may have gotten the wrong address. it's katanii boulevard with two i's not one."

clara laughed in exasperation. "you're fucking kidding me. 'i'm the best bloody assassin there is. i will conduct this act with precision.' how about you shove that statement up your ass crack, you twat."

"what the fuck are you people doing here?" jungkook asked, disgust written all over his face.

seopi ignored him. "not relevant. anyway, this man was harassing the girl over there so i just had to call a code red."

emma cracked her knuckles. "it's time for extermination."

clara rolled her eyes. "shut the fuck up, bob duncan headass."

hali got up from the bed and carefully walked over to them. "um he- he wasn't harassing me. he's my boyfriend.."

seopi put a hand on her shoulder. "sis, don't lie. he looked like he was about to eat you."

"maybe i was." jungkook scoffed quietly in the back, lightly kicking the door stop.

hali blushed furiously but shook her head. "look, seopi-"

seopi's eyebrows furrowed. "how do you know my name?"

jungkook groaned. "oh boy, this is gonna take awhile."