Secret Feelings | Mingyu

• Chapter Six •

Shane

Nakatayo na siya sa unahan. Habang kami nag-iintay ng kanyang pagsasalita. "I am Kim Min Gyu. 16 years old. Your Campus Star 2019. And I believe in a saying, Everything in the past is in the past. So let your past go. Everyone is changing. Everyone is aging. So try to move on and just love yourself. Hindi ka naman mahal ng taong mahal mo eh. Sayang ang mga natitirang panahon." Sabi niya sabay tingin sa akin. Mata sa mata. Nakakakita ako ng disappointment, ng lungkot, at ng sakit sa mata niya. Parang may ipinapamukha siya sa akin. Nagulat nalang ako ng may namumuong luha sa gilid ng mga mata ko. At nagsimula na siyang kumanta.

Someone You Loved

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me
This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy
I need somebody to heal
Somebody to know
Somebody to have
Somebody to hold
It's easy to say
But it's never the same
I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain
Now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved
I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to
This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you
Now, I need somebody to know
Somebody to heal
Somebody to have
Just to know how it feels
It's easy to say but it's never the same
I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape
Now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved
And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes
I fall into your arms
I'll be safe in your sound 'til I come back around
For now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved
But now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Ngayon naman ako ang di mapakali. Madaming namumuong katanungan sa utak ko. Katulad nalang ng Minahal niya ba talaga ako? Hindi ba yun puppy love lang? Hindi ba yun infatuation lang? Sabi niya crush lang? Para sa akin ba yang masakit na kanta na yan? Bakit niya ako tinignan ng mata sa mata? Bakit siya tumingin sa akin ng may lungkot? Bakit siya tumingin sa akin ng may disappointment? Bakit siya tumingin sa akin ng nasasaktan siya? Bakit sa akin? Ano ba talaga yun? Para saan ba yun? Bakit ako nasasaktan? Bakit ako? Kung ako ba talaga yun?

Di ko na namalayan ang luhang tumulo sa mata ko. Nagulat na lang ako ng punasan ito ni Wonu. Nginitian ko na lang siya. Alam kong alam niya kung bakit ako lumuha. Bigla nalang bumilis yung tibok ng puso ko ng makita ko yung mga nakakaakit na mata ni Wonu. Para bang ngayon ko lang nakita yan. Ngayon ko lang masasabi na napakaganda nito. Parang bituin. Nang i-alis niya ang kamay sa mukha ko ay umayos na ako ng upo. Maaga kaming natapos kaya naman nagrecess at lunch kami ng sabay ni Wonu at nila Shua at Han. Masaya kaming nagkwe-kwentuhan nang maalala ko yung garden. Inaya ko agad sila dun.

Walang tao kaya tahimik dito. Napagdesisyunan namin na dito nalang tumambay kasi mukhang hindi naman ito binibisita ng mga estudyante. Ang ganda dito. Mabulaklak, maaliwalas, maganda ang fountain nito. Nakapagtataka lang na walang nabisita dito. Nauna na sila Shua at Han kaya naiwan kami dito ni Wonu. Nagkaroon ng biglang awkward silence sa pagitan naming dalawa.