The Alpha King

Chapter 69

I looked away from him as I couldn't bare to look at him in this moment. We didn't say anything for a moment as he stood right in front of me. I somehow couldn't find the strength to speak.

Xavier stroked my cheek gently and then moved my face so that I was looking at him. When I looked into his eyes, it immediately made me feel calm. As soon as I remembered the reason as to why I was here, I grew anxious again.

This just wasn't fair, how could I possible look into his eyes and tell him. Tell him that we won't be parents, that he won't be a father. After all the death and bloodshed of these past few days, the worry and fear, the fighting...how could I now on top of all of that tell him this news. I couldn't bare it.

"What's wrong, Victoria, your heart is racing like crazy."

Xavier looked at me with concern now and I  tired as hard as possible to hold back my tears and not show him my increasing panic. No matter how much I dreaded it, I had to tell him but not here.

"Can-can we go somewhere private?" I asked him. He furrowed his eyebrows at me but silently took my hand into his larger one and lead me away.

I followed him in silence as he walked, my hand still clutched in his, into the castle and up into our bedroom. Upstairs in our private wing, locked away in our bedroom, I felt even worse but it was indeed a private enough space to tell him. No one will hear us and no one will disturb us.

I walked towards our bed in the centre of the room and sat down, my feet hanging over the edge. Xavier kneeled in front of me and took my hands in his.

"Tell me what's wrong, please, I can't bare seeing you so worried." I swallowed a lump in my throat as the guilt began to eat at me.

It would be the hardest thing I ever had to do and looking right now into his steel grey eyes, it pained me more than anything.

"I-I don't even know how to. I'm so scared Xavier. I'm-" I couldn't help it but tears started falling from my eyes and it became harder to breath. Xavier immediately got up and wrapped his arms around me.

"Shoo, it's okay, I'm here," he soothed as he stroked my hair.

With his arms around me I found the strength to go on, "I-I went to the pack doctor."

"Okay and what happened," he asked gently.

"He took some tests and then he told me that he had some bad news." My voice grew wobbly and my body felt hot as my tears began to well up again. Xavier moved me slightly away from him so that he could look at my face.

I looked into his face as he wiped my tears with the pads of his thumbs. "Whatever the news was, we can deal with it okay. There's nothing we can't overcome. Now what did he say?"

I wanted to believe him so badly. I sniffed and gathered the courage to just tell him.

"He said that I-that I was pregnant," I felt his entire body go stiff. "But that wasn't all that he said. He said that when Cadmer blasted me with his magic it killed our child of four weeks and now there's a possibility that I can never have children again." I couldn't bare to look at his face, to see the hate and the resentment and the anger and the shock. I couldn't bare to see any of it.

The silence between us was broken when I started sobbing.  "Xavier I'm so, I'm so sorry, it's my fault, I-I did this to us and-and I'll understand if you couldn't forgive me and I know you-you must hate me for what I-I di-"

"Victoria,"

"I could never forgive myself either and so- I can understand that you won't either-"