Shut Up & Listen

.FEEL ME.

‼️trigger warning: mentions of suicide attempt‼️

Dame
facetime
2:22pm

"Sadé.... it ain't even like that. I just left out in a rush"

"You ain't even think to let me know?? We had plans today."

"Really Sadé. I been gone since monday night and this the first time you've called me. You ain't that worried about my whereabouts. What the fuck you been doing?"

"Minding my business nigga. Midterms start in a few days."

" You 'on think I know that? I'm taking care of business... I been in them books all semester like you shoulda been... I will never understand why niggas wait until the week before exams to start learning shit" he chuckles.

"Eerbody can't be a smart-ass my nigga." She rolls her eyes and laughs. "Where you at?"

"My brother crib."

"Yo line brother?"

"Nah.. my brother brother. Cole."

"Oh."I can tell she is confused but doesn't want to overstep. We only been talking for a few months but she knows I grew up in foster care.

"We not blood...." I says scratching my head. I hate talking about myself, specifically my family dynamic. "We grew up together. He all I got." I clear my throat. "So uhm you decided what you gonna do yet?" I ask referring to her decision about pledging a sorority.

She smiles real big. " Yessir! I spoke to Regina about the fees and everything and she said it's do-able. You 'on understand how lit this shit is baybee" she says grinning from ear to ear.

I point to the Greek letters on my shirt and give her the 'really nigga' look. 

"But hey, I hope everything is alright with your brother... yo homie told me why you had to leave." She says looking down at the book she has on her lap to avoid eye contact.

"Uhm yeah... thanks bae. I wish I could tell you everything that's goin on ova here man. Shit is wild... just pray for us aight." He says shaking his head.

"You could?"

"We just not there yet. But in due time Lil baby." He says smiling at her. "I  appreciate you checking on me"

"Yeet." She smiles back at him. "Imma call you later. Or you can just call me when you get another free moment."

"Yerr."

She throws up the deuce and they hang up.

<><><><><><><>
Sadé Craighead
Portrayed by Teyana Taylor
Age: 22

<><><><><><><><><>

Dame walks out of the guest bedroom and hears Cobe talking downstairs.

"Ian know Cobe was back. I ain't expect to see him again today..." he says to Cecil jr who is now standing in the doorway of the other guest bedroom.

"Yeah he brought his pops wit 'em." He says scratching his eyebrow. " they wanted some privacy to talk so I came upstairs.... that was about an hour ago tho." He says looking down at his watch.

"I guess it's cool Oz is here."

"What's on ya mind young blood?"

"Ion know man. I guess I'm just trippin'"

"Nah...." Cecil looks at Dame with his brows furrowed. "Com'mere" the two of them walk into Cecil's room. Cecil closes the door while Dame walks over to sit on the bed.

Cecil gestures his arm toward Dame for him to speak as he walks over to sit in the lounge chair beside the night stand.

"I ain't jealous.... don't think I am. I swear I'm not." He looks over to Cecil looking for understanding.

"Cole and I come from the same place. I took care of him when he ain't have nobody. No mother... no father.... I still look out for him na' you feel me?" He looks down at his clasped hands feeling guilty about the emotions he's feeling right now.

"I just be thinkin' though like... when is someone gonna take care of me? I only got Cole. That's my only family and he's in distress. He's always had the hardest life man. Like... I'm a foster kid or whatever but I've had it easy compared to him so I can't even complain....but like..." a tear rolls down his cheek as he speaks about this feeling for the first time ever. "He's never been alone.. everyone he knows takes care of him and he takes that shit for granted. If I ever got just a taste of the love and care he gets from his family.... this nigga got a whole ass family and he still has that shitty ass orphan mentality" he shakes his head and aggressively wipes his tears away angry at himself for feeling this way. "He act like nobody love him... but all he has is love. I got nothin but love for my brother... but he don't put that same energy back into the people who give it to him. I feel like.... shit.... I know I shouldn't talk like this but I need to say it just one time out loud man." He pauses and looks up at Cecil for permission to continue. When Cecil crosses his right leg over his left and nods his head, he proceeds... voice shaking.

"He don't deserve it." After that, Dame is quiet. Bouncing his leg and playing in his beard, he can't believe he finally admitted it. He's angry and he doesn't want to be which is making him even angrier.

Cecil leans forward resting his arms on his knees with his face in his hands. Then he looks past Dame and out the window.

"Damon, on the real, I used to feel the same way about him when my parents brought him home. Not on no malicious shit man, but you're right. Cole doesn't think he's important. He doesn't believe that his life matters. Period. And how do I know that? Because I confronted him about it a couple days before I left. It was on his birthday. This nigga was on the roof." Cecil pauses contemplating how to reveal this to Cole's best friend.

"He had my fathers' pistol in his hand he said he was gon blow his head off. All these people were here at the loft. You remember..... his 16th birthday..... he said everyone only comes to his shit because they feel sorry for him. He didn't wanna be a burden no more so he thought he should be dead. I ain't know what the fuck to do. I'm a kid myself... just turned twenty one years old. I ain't wanna piss pops off so I called Oz. He came up to the roof and he took care of it. That was the day I decided I had to leave. It was too much for me. I couldn't understand why the nigga couldn't accept the fact that he wasn't alone. I'm like ' you ungrateful bitch'." He chuckles at himself. "I never said it to his face tho... I just abandoned him. I decided that if the nigga wants to be an orphan and unwanted I was gonna let him." He stands up and walks over to Dame and tells him to stand up.

"Ian know that" he says wiping the remaining tears from his cheeks. He feels guilty.

"Nobody does man. Just the three of us who were on the roof that night. Oz was a father to Cole whenever my pops couldn't be." He looks at Dame seriously.

"Ion know where your heart is about all this, and ion too much know ya story like I do Cole but if yal really grew up together like yal say, I know you been through some fucked up shit. And I'm sorry Cole can't return to you the love you give him. The nigga is a mess.. but you do have folks behind you man. You have mentors, you have friends bro. You may not have blood relation but I want you to take tha locks and chains off ya heart and open the fuck up." Cecil says poking him in his chest.

"No." He shakes his head defiantly. "I do that and then what?" He throws his hands up looking Cecil dead in the eye with his nose turned up and frowning. "I can't do that shit Cole do man. I got too much anger. Shit... I feel like if I open up just a lil bit... I might explode or sumn man" he shakes his head tears falling again. "Ion know dawg.. just forget it aight.." he says walking towards the door. He pauses before opening the door to clean up his face in case someone sees him then the exists the room heading back to his own guest room.