Shut Up & Listen

the trip downtown (two):

In the main guest bathroom of the loft, Cobe flushes the toilet and makes his way to the sink. His stomach is turning with nerves. Feeling weird about bringing up last nights events in front of Dame, he wonders if he picked up on the energy. Now he's replaying the apology over and over in his head.

Shit, did I say too much? It wasn't that bad right? Damn, I gotta relax. He thought. Suddenly, someone knocks on the door breaking his train of thought.

"Aye, Cobe you in here?" he heard Dame ask.

"Yeah, why" He yelled through the door, so that Dame could hear that he didn't want to be bothered.

"Never mind man, I'll just go upstairs."

Nigga knew damn well I was in here. He thought. 

While washing his hands, Cobe looks himself in the mirror checking himself out. Ordinarily, he'd notice how fine he is, he'd smile at himself and run his fingertips over the hair on his chin while licking his lips and staring into his own eyes. But this time, all he saw was the little boy who feared being exposed. He's gone ten years with not so much as one slip up. He knows he messed up by kissing his friend last night. If Colin didn't suspect anything before, he definitely knows now, right?

Cobe hasn't felt this sort of feeling since he came to terms with what he likes at around age sixteen. Insecurity, anxiety and inferiority are flooding back into his mind like they never left. He wants to lock the door and curl up in the bathtub like he used to when it all became too much for him. Suddenly his mouth is dry and his breathing is constricted.

"What the fuck?" He whispers to himself.

He takes a seat on the edge of the tub and leans down resting his head in his folded arms on his knees. What the fuck? Breathe nigga, shit. After a few minutes of steady breathing, he stands up and wets a towel. He wipes his face staring at himself in the mirror again. But this time, it doesn't last as long, he can't stand it.

Exiting the bathroom, he follows the voices of his friends  to the Kitchen. Cole has changed from his sweats into a silk button down and some slacks. He's eating ramen noodles while chatting with Dame about his new girlfriend. Their attention turns to me as I enter the room taking a seat at the table.

"You good my baby?" Dame asks lifting his cup to his mouth.

"Yeah I'm aight. [what are] Y'all niggas yelling bout out here?"

"Nothing really, but I wanted to ask y'all something." Cole is picking at his noodles now like he's nervous.

"Shoot." I respond. Taking a seat at the table.

"What is Cecil here for? Did he say anything when he got here?"

"Ion know, I mean he was just talking about lost time and shit. He ain't really say much." I responded recalling the earlier conversation between Cecil, Dame and I.

"Yeah, he ain't tell us." Dame concurred.

"Did he ask about me?"

Dame and Cobe exchanged looks because he did ask about Cole. But they don't really want to tell him what they talked about. Cole has been on ten lately and everyone has their assumptions as to why, but no one has confronted him yet.

"Yeah, he asked about you." Dame blurted in a short tone.

"Well.." Cole looks like a scared kid coming home knowing his teacher called his momma today.

"C'mon nigga, that's yo big brother. He just was checking to make sure you good aight." Dame retorted.

"Aight but like, why is he here?"

"Didn't you talk to him? Why you ain't ask?" Dames responses are definitely giving off subtle defensive vibes. Honestly, if he don't shut up now, imma have to leave the room. Although the two of them aren't biologically brothers, they sure fight like some. Thankfully though, Cecil appears in the threshold of the kitchen.

"Y'all ready?" Cecil asked with a large grin on his face. We all nod, " I parked out front so whoev-"

"Imma drive too, incase I gotta leave early or sumn." Cole interrupts.

We exit Cole's loft a few minutes later. The elevator ride is quiet except for Cecil's humming. I make eye contact with Cole and he rolls his. I can't tell if its towards me or Cecil's tunes, but I'm gonna find out soon.

I decided to ride with Cole to the restaurant so we could talk.

Cole is blasting something chill on the aux, and I'm one hundred percent sure it's so he won't have to talk to me. So, I turn it down and start..

"How you feeling?" I asked, nervously.

"I mean I'm hungry as fuck, but I-"

"I mean about what happened last night?"

Cole sits quiet. I'm not sure if he's thinking or if he's avoiding the question so I clarify.

" The kiss... es." I almost forgot that it actually happened twice.

"Ion wanna talk about it. It never happened aight." He turns the radio back up and my anxiety shoots through the roof.

"What the fuck does that mean?" I NEED to know how he feels.

"Damn Cobe, we was high as fuck aight, it's cool."

"Earlier you wasn't acting like it was cool though? "

"I overreacted aight, forget it."

With that I left the conversation alone. Do I believe him? Hell no.

We pull up to the restaurant and Cecil's bright ass old school Caddy is taking up two spots. We park in the next spot closest and get out the car.

I noticed Cole turn away from me and his arm go up a little bit. If I wasn't trying to give Cole the benefit of the doubt, that would've been the confirmation I needed. I think he's poppin pills but I ain't saying nothing til I know for sure. If he is, I understand why, nigga has a hard ass life. But I'm worried though because his pops died from an overdose, I'm not tryna lose another friend to that shit.

A/N Who is your Fav Character so far??