Shut Up & Listen

BLACK

Cecil
Wednesday, February 5
5:32 pm

Ian seen Dame since we talked hours ago. I'm not sure if he left or if he's just locked himself in his room. I've never seen that man talk about himself before. Even as a child, he's always just been around. I feel like shit for making him talk about it, but I'm glad he felt comfortable enough to say that shit to me. Ion know though, maybe I shouldn'a told him about what Cole almost did to himself....

Cole comes and sit next me to me on the couch interrupting my thoughts.

"Aye man you good?" He asks me looking down at his hands in his lap.

"Yeah baby. You ready to go?"

"Ion know... I guess we can't wait much longer though.... we already shoulda been tryna get there tonight right?" I can tell he wants to be there to support our brothers but he is not okay.

"Aye, maybe we should fly" he looks at me with confusion. "You know... so we have a lil more time to prepare before we leave."

"Hell nawl man... that's at least $400 a piece... ONE WAY" he's shaking his head at me biting his lip. "Nah man... we just gon drive... it'a be aight if we get there inna mornin'." he says twisting his hair. I noticed he does that when he's on edge... which is damn near all the time really.

"Don't worry bout it baby. I'll take care of it. We'a get down there tonight, get a hotel.... I'll rent a car at the airport so we'on have to worry bout no ride..."I list off.

Shaking his head he stops me "We gotta drive bro... I ain't ever been on no plane before. I wanna save that for a more exciting time." He turns around to see Dame walking down the stairs and nods at him in acknowledgement . "Plus it'a give us all some time to clear our heads before shit goes down again."

"Aight bro... whatever you want." I'm exhausted and Cole is exhausting. She was my momma too... even tho she ain't really claim me and Cole as her kids, she took good care of us. Pops had a good job and we never wanted for anything, but he wasn't raised to be emotionally available... nigga was tough as nails. Sara softened him and she made sure she was available to us. I got love for her and although I'm not too torn up about her passing, I'm worried about her boys, my other little brothers.

Just then, as Dame claimed a spot on the loveseat, Cobe walked through the front door.

"Aye, I gotta fill up 'fore we head out... if we wanna get there before dawn, we gotta head out now." He says taking a seat beside Dame after locking the door. I noticed no one ever sits in the green chair by the window, they just be pilled up on these small ass couches... I wonder why.

"Aye... Cole you know where the boys staying at? Who taking care of em?" I ask.

"PawPaw got 'em. They been living with him since Granny passed last year. I ain't know all that before tho. Ev saying he don't think He wanna take care of them cuz they grown na. He scared he gonna kick them out." He says shaking his leg looking over at Dame.

"Shit.... niggas ain't shit" Cobe says bitterly remembering how his family did him when his mama died.

"Big Dev said they can stay with him til they get on they feet. But he know about the money Pops left them... so he 'on thrust that"

Dame sucks his teeth "that shit bog. How old are they na"

"Evan 21, Shahid 20, and Lil J 19 now"

"Yeah them niggas grown homie. Ain't nobody gon let them ride for free." Cobe says all in his phone.

"Ion wanna be rude, but we just gon hav'ta figure this shit out later. We gotta get on the road." Cobe said wiping his eyes. This nigga is clearly tired, looks like either me or Dame gonna have to drive first shift.