Expression

Chapter Seventeen

Jotaro refused to look back at Noriaki. Even though he could feel those eyes. He would not. It wasn't that he particularly cared about preserving the integrity of the graduation ceremony by standing still just as he was supposed to, but that he wouldn't let him be the one to disrupt things. He had to learn to force his focus to any other thing. Being only a few feet apart put him in a very difficult situation, however.

Damnit... anything else. He listened to the faint ticking of the clock on the wall, just barely audible enough for him to hear, trying to breath on every fifth ticking. Having to stand with his hands at his sides, not being allowed to put them in his pockets as was so comforting to him, he felt deeply stressed. Not much more than an hour... just get through that.

At least things were easier once they were allowed to sit down. Not that sitting still was great, but it sure was a hell of a lot better than just standing there. As the minutes passed, he supposed that most people felt some sort of parting nostalgia at graduation—at least, that's what he'd heard. He found it hard to miss this place. Fights, judgement, heartbreak. What kind of fool would he have to be to miss that? Good fucking riddance. If I didn't want to get into university I wouldn't even have come here in the first place.

Every student's name was being called, and he wished he could plug his ears. He didn't want to hear the name "Noriaki Kakyoin" again, didn't want to hear that voice saying "hai" in response, especially since only a few other students separated them, and it was as if he was mocking him by even being here—

"Jotaro Kujo." He'd been so distracted that he almost didn't notice when his own name was called, hastily standing up and giving a disgruntled "hai." It must have been a while between when their two names were called as well, given that they were in different homerooms. Get a grip, Kujo . He chewed his cheek, leaving it raw and bleeding by the time the ceremony was over. He wanted to punch those smug grins off of everyone giving those speeches. The audacity of the principle to say he was proud of everyone and preen about how he had worked very hard to make sure that all of the students here would go far when he'd told JoJo countless damn that someone worthless, selfish, and lazy as him couldn't make it in the real world and certainly wasn't smart enough to become a scientist. The same students who'd avoided him his entire life, left him lonely and friendless, now stood there preaching the importance of kindness and they hoped so much that all of their classmates would carry the same kindness they'd shown throughout high school into their adult lives. Bastards. At least his anger was enough to sustain him for the rest of the ceremony, and before he knew it it was all over and he hadn't even given another thought to Noriaki.

Everyone filed back to their homerooms, most chattering excitedly as they eagerly waited to take their yearbooks. Jotaro simply grabbed his; with no more reason to stay, he silently made his departure, saying goodbye to no one. He wondered what it must be like to be someone who actually wanted to linger, who had anything worth cherishing here. Was it really so easy for some people to make friends? Whatever. Not like I need any, he told himself.

He tried to ignore the fact that his time with the Crusaders had made him realize just how hollow loneliness had made his life feel.

Without glancing back, he left his high school behind.

Jotaro stared at the digital clock in his room, lit with a bright red 3:26. How many hours had it been since he'd tried to fall asleep? He probably shouldn't have slept for four hours straight right after getting home, but it didn't matter really. It wouldn't matter for a while when he slept or when he woke up.