Dirt

21

Princeton

"Dad? Have you ate today?"

Cedar is in the seat behind the driver bouncing to Work It. He's dressed up as a blue power ranger. Raine refused to dress up, Basil's a 'nerd', Roger's a dice -a white t-shirt with four paper circles on the front and one on the back. Grace went a group of friends so I don't get a hint of her costume, her brother, however, is a puppy dog -an eared headband and all. Fucking adorable.

I worked straight from school until nine when the boys picked me up, so I didn't get to choose my own costume for this year. Cedar wasn't about to have that so now I'm going to be wearing a cheap-ass pirate costume he found at the thrift store. I haven't been able to put it on, both afraid if someone opened the packaging to wear it and having to check up on Dad who I haven't seen in a full twenty-four hours. Glad I checked up on him, Donna stopped playing babysitter when they woke up.

"Yes, I ate the last of the sandwich and potato chips." I want to scream at the top of my lungs. Bread and chips are basically the only food left in my house and I won't make it to the store until Sunday. 

I'm in a cramped car, shoulder stuck to Basil's. Screaming at my Dad wouldn't work right now, even if he would listen. I have to resort to grinding my teeth. Basuk glances over at me with a cautious look that I shake off.

"Have you drank anything other than alcohol?" No. Don't be stupid Princeton, he only knows water in the form of a shower every two days.

"Uh...wait, yes. When I went for a beer run I got a coke. I haven't had coke in a while," I rub my eyes to try to rub the frustration out. His voice was excited at his own little adventure.

I blow out a tight sigh, "Great, you got out. Lenny didn't come by, did he?"

Lenny is our landlord. I wouldn't ask if Lenny didn't call me at school. I managed to get out of class to answer and immediately regretted it. 

Dad broke his arm a few weeks ago, creating a perfect excuse to quit work all the way. That leaves only me to pay water, his half of rent, and the damaging doctor bill. I refuse to pay more than half of my savings for when life totally gets to shit or -if for some reason- I get out of town and need extra money. Now I'm scrambling to take more hours and manage to pay for everything. 

Rent is behind in the whole part of this. My mind prioritizes nearly anything over having to pay whole rent. I know there's always a shitty room at the Eagle. It's almost a relief imaging only paying one flat fee for all utilities and rent. But there are also so many cons. 

Dad and I would have to share one room and that immediately screws a whole lot of shit. Dad would be closer to the liquor and grocery store to spend more money. I'd again be that motel rat that gets asked in school if I know the maids inside in and out. I'll have to ride farther from school or both works. I'll have to find a place for all the shit we've accumulated over the past six or so months. I don't want to give it back to the thrift store in case, somehow, we only spend a couple of months in the motel. Dad is basically a hoarder when we're living in a room with only four walls.

My life would shake up all over again. Even as I can feel the tail ends of the last episode licking me. Or, wandering blind into another episode. Either way, my strength needed to deal with another fucking shift is depleted. All while my dad is watching Bojack Horseman with his bitch girlfriend and a couple of bottles in his hands for company.

"Oh, no. No one's come by today -not while I'm here at least."

The car begins to bounce from the gravel road up on it's way to the fieldhouse. It's black out, too cold for costumes. Yet here we are to the shitty fieldhouse the club soccer team used to use before they left town. It's run-down, red solos and broken beer bottles from the use for partying. I don't know how they haven't started a field fire with the bonfires held here too.