Dirt

22

Princeton

I felt like utter shit in the morning. Not because I had a wicked hangover or the drop from the pill. Not because Homer had been licking my face for an unknown amount of time or knowing I had to go to work that afternoon.

Because I forced Knox to take the drugs even though he didn't want to. I threw away his family history and forced him to take the exact thing that ruined his mother. 

Because he didn't want to be here. Knox had a home hours away, all he had here was a bed, roof, and little sister. We're a pitstop, a speedbump, in Knox's life. For all we know, the moment he's graduated he's out and never coming back. This isn't his home. It could never be.

When Cedar woke up he gave me shit for letting him drink so much. After we both puked all the regret out. Well, not all. He even gave me shit for 'practically verbal fucking Knox' with the whole gang feet away. I don't remember 'practically verbal fucking Knox'. I highly doubt Cedar was conscious enough at the end to know if we were 'practically verbal fucking'. 

I just recounted nearly the whole night I spent with Knox to Cedar while he ran around his room in circles screaming and his hands over his ears. Homer followed his owner, barking along. I fucking love my baby, Homer. I fucking love fucking with Cedar. 

He pretended to hate it the whole time I was talking yet when I was done he started his own questions. 

"I am so conflicted if I'm supposed to be happy I am so good at detecting sex," I cringe at his wording, petting a calmed down Homer on my side. Cedar is sprawled on the floor of his room in his mother's house, practically making snow angels in random shit, panting from his panic, "Or, be highly disgusted I can so easily detect sex. Why is life so hypocritical?"

"I literally don't think a single word in that spiel was correctly used," My head is slowing it's pounding, Cedar's screaming didn't help either of us.

I would be concerned Ms. Lauren, Cedar's mom, would get mad at her idiot son screaming for three minutes. I love Ms. Lauren, she's always held her door open for me. However, Cedar's parents are a bit iffy in his life.

They divorced when Cedar was six. I wasn't in town then, hell I still had two parents then too. By the time I made it to town, Cedar was fit in the divorce parent routine without a thought. Two weeks at his mom's, one week at his dad's.

Cedar's mom stayed in town, owning the only beauty salon in town. She's had plenty of boyfriends throughout my friendship with Cedar, a fiance before I moved to town. Her latest one was kind, tried to relate to Cedar. She spends most weekends at his place in the college town.

Cedar's dad moved to the college town to teach some college math classes at the university. He's where Cedar's math skills come from. Unfortunately, Cedar doesn't see his dad often enough to keep a good relationship. He only got one week in the settlement because of his dedication to his job -he didn't think he could keep up with a six-year-old enough. They interact on his week, occasionally at his weeks at his mother's. Not enough to be Cedar's favorite parent.

Cedar sighs loudly on his floor, glancing up at me on his bed, "It's a curse of a gift. It's just -why couldn't I get a different sixth sense that benefits me? It's not fair." 

I snort, my fingers treading through Homer's short gold hair. He fully leans into it, taking up most of the bed. I let him because, honestly, who can say no to Homer?

"I thought it does benefit you. You like being on the in before everyone else. You get a leg up," Cedar frowns. I lean over the bed a bit more to get a clear look at his hungover, strange prioritized face. Any competition will get to him. It's very useful, "You get the juice before any of the other idiots get it."