Swipe | John(do)il

Passenger Seat

Junhee sat in the passenger seat of Zuho's comfortable car, quivering ever so slightly as they drove in total silence. He wasn't too sure where they were going exactly, but he was too afraid to ask the driver.

Instead, he just sat with his legs facing away from Zuho and pointing towards the door. His lip was snug beneath his teeth, exchanging every now and again with his nails.

Finally, the car slowed to a stop and the engine shut off, but the doors didn't open. In fact, they all clicked locked with the press of a button. Junhee's heartbeat began to quicken when Zuho turned to face him, his arms folding across his chest.

"So, Jun. Talk to me. You were dead silent with me this morning. In fact, you were so quiet that I was borderline convinced you were no longer in the room with me."

Junhee swallowed thickly. "A-About what?" His voice was a whisper in response. He was so quiet in the korning because he was worried that  maybe sleeping in the same bed as Zuho had given him a totally wrong impression. Just that morning, he had woken up beside his friend. It had made his heart flutter to see him so close to him and so vulnerable. All of the anger and toughness Zuho wore during the dare had disappeared for a moment, and seeing him like that...

...it made him fall just a little further for him.

"About everything," the taller said. His voice was still carryin fb traces of tiredness, and he kept on silently clearing his throat throughout the drive, and mow the current conversation. "About... I don't know, when you first knew, how you felt knowing how I feel about gay people, and... I guess any struggles you've faced," Zuho said. He didn't open his arms, nor did he shift in the slightest, and it made the other bite his lip.

He could see Zuho was uncomfortable with him now that he found out his preferences. It hurt. "I've always known how I felt," he began. His tongue quickly darted out to lubricate his painfully dry lips. "And, uh, well... you never really exactly said you hated gays until Jongin arrived and joined us, but I knew." He managed to look up into the other's eyes, only to find them surprisingly calm.

Continuing, he said, "I guess I like you for who you are when you aren't focused on sexualities and stuff. You're a great person."

Zuho's lips twitched upwards. "You like me enough to ignore how much I hate homosexuality?"

Ouch. That shot right through the thick skin Junhee had developed throughout the years. Fingers twisting together, he sighed. "Actually... that's something I can't ignore, no matter how hard I try."

The was a moment of silence.

"It's a big part of my life. If I just ignore it, then I'm not being me. I'm not ever truly going to be happy, and knowing that my best friend feels that way... sometimes I'm scared. I-I hate to admit it, but, Zuho, sometimes I'm terrified of you."

Junhee didn't look up that time. He just chose to look beyond the glass windows study a pretty bluetit on the branch of a tree, dancing gracefully in the wind as he sunk further into his own hoodie.

But Zuho clicked his tongue. "Jun, look at me." When they connected sights, the taller said softly, "Are you scared of me right now?"

Right then? No. Junhee shook his head, an action which earned a gentle smile from the other.

"Not now." Actually, when he looked at Junhee with those eyes, he just looked so sweet. It was the kind of expression that made you want to run into the arms of a loved one and squeeze them tight.

This is unhealthy, Jun. Come on.

There was another pause in which a woman walked past the car with her bike, strolling casually by. Junhee waited for her to round a corner a distance away before he breathed out, "And I'd say the biggest struggle..."