Chapter 24: that name...

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Astreen

"Matthew?" I asked, shocked that we had finally found him after searching for him for several days. Me and Tiran had almost given up hope that he was ever here.

"mummy?" he squeaked out in his small shy voice, I learnt that he spoke like that when he was afraid of something.

"don't be afraid honey," I reassured him, "mummy's here." he shook his head fiercely.
"No! No you're not!" he shouted at me, his eyes glistening with held back tears. My heart lurched at the innocent sight of him. I paled, as he took another step back towards the edge of the cliff.

"honey, I'm right here, come to mummy Matthew," he shook his head.

"no... no..." tears poured down his smooth cheeks. As I attempted to take a risky step forward, he took another step back.

This time I watched as pieces of rock fell down into the ferocious depths of the cold ocean below. Imagining Matthew falling down there.

"Matthew! Please come here! Come to mummy!"  I begged him, tears finally breaking free.

"you're not my mummy! You never were! Why didn't you tell me?" he asked his voice wavering.

"Matthew-"

"that's not my name!" he shouted at me, his expression suddenly fierce.

"then what is?" I asked, careful not to mention any endearments.

"-you're not my mummy!" he answered me, before yelling at me again. I suddenly paled. That name...

Before I could even think about what to say, or even think I watched my son fall off of the edge of the earth and the splash of the waters below that came with it.

No... no... no!

Matthew... Matthww... Matthew...

"Astreen! Wake up! Oh please Thor, wake up!" My eyes sprung open, my husband towering over me with his 6 foot frame. His hands clamped tightly around my biceps.

"w-what happened?" I asked, suddenly wary of what I'd just experienced. I'm a terrible mother, I let my baby die. I lost another child...

"I should be asking you the exact same question." he sighed, rubbing the worry lines on his forehead. "you fell asleep, I knew I should have woke you sooner. You were shaking, screaming over and over, it was horrible. I'm so sorry." he apologised.

"what for?"

"for not waking you up." he answered. "well, what happened?" at that I burst into tears.

"I-it's Matthew, he's dead." I sobbed into Tiran chest. It was wonder he could hear me.

"what? How-"

"I-I s-saw him j-jump off a cliff, but before he said... h-he said..." I couldn't get the rest out.

"shh, shh, it's alright. What did he say?" I gulped slightly, moving away from him and staring at my nails. "Astreen, you're scaring me, what did he say?" he seemed angrier, worried maybe.

"he said his name was Stoick."

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