UP THERE. | ジグク [DISCONTINUED]

four :: monochrome.

四 | monochrome.
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june 24th, 2020

"jeongguk. hey! jeongguk!"

i closed my eyes, marching inside of the cafe, praying the mint haired boy trailing behind me would give up trying to gain my attention. his raspy voice kept going, stopping would clearly not be on his schedule for a while.

"jeongguk, i know it's you! he— oh, hello."

i didn't have to turn around to see him get interrupted by an overly cheery barista. her short hair flew around the summer wind blowing inside the small coffee shop, let in by an open window. cicadas chirped, another sign of the weather being awfully hot, yet the air conditioning not helping with any of that.

the leaves were coloured a lively green, the sun capturing everything under it a golden yellow, its bright colour tinting my skin a honey dusk.

i wondered how he would look, basking in the golden hour in front of me.

blue eyes would often be compared to the sky, the ocean, but nobody seemed to notice the beauty hiding beneath common brown coloured irises.

in the sunlight, they always shone, floating around the white of his eyes, resting there like two pools of sweet honey. the honey that danced on the tip of your tongue as you felt it melt in your mouth, the gentle, sweet taste that made all beg for more. i know this comparison sounds quite spontaneous, but the sweetness of the honey, its dark, orange highlight contrasting with the brightness of his sclera has always came across my mind as i wrote mindless love songs about the older, catching the beauty of our universe in words that would quickly become soft melodies to hum before falling into slumber.

but today, nothing mattered to me anymore. the world was monochrome without him. i couldn't capture its stunning harmony, the once blue sky becoming seemingly grey in my lost eyes. i was destroyed.

yoongi had – finally – lost me.

i let out a relieved sigh as i uncomfortably shuffled around in my seat, making the iron prosthesis on my left leg suddenly clash against the similar metal of the table in front of me.

i winced, looking down at my thighs.

the sound was loud, loud enough to cut through calm conversation, loud enough for a few people to annoyingly turn around, glare at me before spotting my leg and awkwardly turning back.

i hated the attention.

but what if yoongi had heard me?

"there you are! jeongguk! please, talk to me, i haven't heard from you in ages, is everything okay?!"

i had (unfortunately) guessed right.

"yoongi..."

i closed my eyes, trying to remember the good times, as i always did when i felt nervous, although perfectly knowing that action only hurt me more and more.

dreaming of the older, of his lips against mine, of his soft, lingering touch all over my body.

i couldn't stop myself.