UP THERE. | ジグク [DISCONTINUED]

fifteen :: destiny.

十五 | destiny.
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thank you all sm for 900 reads!! :') i never expected getting so much reads and I'm sosososo happy! 💙

sorry for the long break, it turned out to be longer than expected but now i'm more refreshed than ever!

[ ♪ ]

november 21st, 2014.

"we... we need to talk," the older facing me quietly let out, slowly mixing the sugar in his coffee as he avoided the look in my eyes, the expression i held as i twirled the straw in my juice around.

shifting around his seat, his natural cheerful smile was dimmed down to a mere line, his aura radiating worry, an expression i found hard not to mirror. the cafe we sat in was empty; empty and cold, the vapor emerging from his untouched cup of coffee surely being the only source of warmth in the desolate room, only the sound of his spoon clinking against the sides of his mug behing distinguishable amongst the overwhelming noise of my heart beating in my ears. i was sure the freezing temperature was a mere figment of my imagination, a reflection of how i thought of us in that moment.

a shiver coursed through my body. "to- to talk about..." i trailed, voice wavering with a certain hint of nervousness i couldn't seem to shake off, though-

"look, we both know what's to come, don't we?"

"mhm," i casually answered, nonchalant, though the hand who clutched my glass of juice trembled in fear, in fear of losing everything.

exactly. hoseok was right.

that was the most terrifying detail in the situation. the fact that we both knew what was to come. it had only been a little over two months, though, precisely seventy-nine days. seventy-nine days of sadness and fear, for the both of us. we just- we weren't meant to be. that had to be the only explanation. it wasn't our fault, right?

hoseok humorlessly laughed, finally taking a sip of his dark, bitter coffee as he relaxed, resting his back against the cushion behind him, eyes glowing and shimmering with tears i didn't think would appear, swimming through his eyes and threatening to slip down his tanned face.

i looked through the window to my right, a choked laugh escaping my throat as my hand went up to scratch at my cheek, a desperate attempt to control the itch behind my eyelids. "yeah. i do know," i clarified, louder than my previous hum.

"jimin..." he stalled, wincing at the feeling of his name on his tongue. "he... he still loves you, jeongguk," hoseok whispered, the words he pronounced sending a certain sharp pain through my abdomen. i looked away from the sight of him solemnly playing with the handle of his mug. "i know you still love him too."

"and you're still in love with yoongi," i muttered, tracing my finger over the cracks of the wooden table i rested my elbows on. "you're- you're aware he's aroace, right?"

"do you really think i'm not?" he answered in a sigh, voice ever-so-slightly louder, sharper than before. cutting through the atmosphere of the cafe and making my throat throb, the sound of his voice sent my airways forming into a ball i desperately attempted to swallow down. "if only i wasn't aware. it wouldn't hurt as much."

"i'm- i'm sorry," i let out under my breath, at that point i was persuaded he couldn't hear me, at all. "i shouldn't have brought that up."