UP THERE. | ジグク [DISCONTINUED]

eight :: you're okay.

八 | you're okay.
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had to fight my writing block for this chapter, thankfully i managed to defeat it, though the first part of this chapter isn't very good, sorry for the wait and thank you for 250 reads!

(this chapter might be edited soon)

[ ♪ ]

june 27th, 2020

ignore your demons, and you'll be alright.

cheer up, jeongguk.

"why did you have to be so sweet?" i asked the skies, voice wavering and tears clouding my vision.

as always, i was lost in a pair of eyes.

lost in their homely hue, in their familiar golden flicks. in the way they reflected the sunlight and shone, nearly as bright as the smile resting only a few centimeters under the two orbs.

i hated that picture. i hated the image i held between my shaky hands, i hated the subtle tear stains on the paper from my countless sleepless nights spent hugging it, struck with melancholy, i hated the creased, scarred paper presenting the slightly tanned skin of who once made me a better man.

no matter what happened to him, he would always come out of it smiling. beaming.

and despite the pain i spent with the photograph, i had always loved it. i loved the way he grinned, the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, morphing into two small crescent moons.

i saw that exact photograph everywhere; framed on an endless pile of flowers, set on the side of the road as a memorial, on the newspaper, on social media, everywhere.

it clouded my every thought, all the time.

and i couldn't bring myself to put an end to it.

i gathered the few crumbs of courage scattered across my body to place the image back on the nightstand, standing up and blinking my tears away, stomping my prosthesis on the floor a few times.

going grocery shopping never was pleasant, especially on such slow mornings. if it weren't for the lack of milk and steak in my fridge, i would have remained under my duvet until the early hours of the afternoon. sadly, staying home wasn't an option for today, and so, i left the house, carrying a folded reusable bag i dangled between my fingers.

the nearest bus stop wasn't hard to locate, and the bus came by quickly, which nearly brought a smile to my face as i realized maybe today wouldn't be so bad of a day.

maybe i'll be spared from despair, for just a few hours.

upon entering the vehicle and sitting down, i let my head rest against the window, ignoring the trembling of it as i glued my eyes to the scenery outside.

summer wasn't my favorite season anymore. in fact, i strongly despised the heat, the cicadas and the amplified feeling of emptiness growing stronger and stronger as a certain date approached, and yet, only for that day, i felt the need to appreciate the blinding green of the leaves outside, the slightly rare sight of a bird dashing through the bright blue sky.