This Is How It Goes

Chapter One: A Wedding

It all started with a wedding. It always starts with a wedding.

My mother, Samantha Jane Holland, aged forty three was pledging her undying love to Darren Frank Swift aged forty nine. It was my mother’s third wedding and not to be her last.

The usual suspects were in attendance. Grandmothers, mothers, fathers, uncles and aunts, cousins, colleagues, old school chums and then a handful of people you actually like. And then of course I was there too, the first child.

My mother has three children. Myself, Katarina Elizabeth Ryan, aged eighteen. My brother, Lachlan Oliver Gregory, aged fifteen. My sister, Tabitha Anne Gregory, aged thirteen. My mother married my father when she was twenty three and popped me out a year a bit later. But dear old Dad fell in love with Ronda Elaine Cross the girl next door. They’re married now with two kids, my brothers, Taylor Darrel Ryan and Hudson John Ryan aged sixteen and twelve. My mother quickly latched onto Harrison Peter Gregory for support. He was her accountant. They married a year after the divorce and had Lachlan not much later and then Tabitha. Sadly that betrothal was not to be either. They divorced the year I turned ten.

For a long time my mother went without a husband. She had a few passing boyfriends but none stuck. Poor Mom. But then came along Darren with his receding hairline and bad jokes. But boy that man has one hell of house. Three stories.

They got engaged last spring and now here they are standing in front of each other on a beach promising to love each other to death do them part. It doesn’t matter that they’ve both been married before. It doesn’t matter that one has three kids and the other four dogs. They ‘love’ each other. Bless them.

I check my watch and heave a sigh. The sooner it’s over the sooner I can eat. Darren is old money and therefore a rather impressive meal has been organized and that is the only thing allowing me to sit through this ordeal.

My mother wears a white suit that makes her look fatter than she is. I tried to talk her out of it but she insisted. For a woman that has had a lot of weddings white is definitely not her colour.

“Can this be over already?” Lachlan says beside me.

“If you faint I’ll carry you out.” I tell him.

“Deal.” Lachlan says.

But of course we’d never ruin our mother’s special day.

“You may kiss the bride.” The celebrant announces.

“Finally.” Lachlan groans.

Tabitha hits him. “Shut up guys.”

The beautiful bride and the handsome groom (of sorts) seal the deal with a kiss and everyone claps. We stand as they turn to face us their faces rosey red with joy or maybe from standing in ninety degree heat. A beach wedding in the middle of summer maybe wasn’t the best idea.

Samantha Jane Holland, now Swift, links her arm through Darren Frank Swifts and they walk back down the aisle.

I know I’m not supposed to but I hear the whispers. The "she’s really getting married again". I see the tight lipped smiles and curious eyes. I see the respectable people with only one marriage under their belt silently shaking their heads. Samantha Jane Holland makes them feel better about their own marriages, successes and failures.

As she passes us by Mom gives us a wink. Forty three going on fifteen.

“Do you think the oldies would notice if I got absolutely smashed?” Lachlan whispers in my ear.

“Yes. But let’s do it anyway.” I whisper back.

Tabitha glares at us. “You know, you’d think that with the example you two set me I’d be lighting fires and having sex with every boy in town.”