Unravelling

Chapter 24 - Dizzy

"Lily?"

I barely register the sounds of footsteps coming closer.

"Hey, sissy, what's wrong?"

Noah's voice sounds very far way.

"Lily, please tell me why you are crying."

There is shuffling near me. Suddenly, I feel someone's presence beside me. Arms wrap themselves around my shaking body and I allow myself to collapse against the person.

"What happened? What did you find?" Noah asks.

His voice is a lot closer now. The arms around me tighten as a shudder goes through my whole body. I really want to stop crying, but the tears seems to have a mind of their own and they keep falling. Also, the thoughts running through my mind are fuzzy and confusing.

"Hey, hey, hey, it's okay. Please stop crying, Lils. You're scaring me."

Noah kind of awkwardly starts to pat my back as he holds me close.

"I...I...," I stammer, not being able to form even one proper word, leave alone a whole sentence.

My mother died before I was born.

In my frazzled state of mind it takes a moment until I realise that I am making no sense at all.

The mother of my brothers died before I was born.

That seems more accurate.

My tears are soaking Noah's t-shirt but I don't really care.

My brothers' mother is not my mother.

I let out a strangled sob when the reality of that hits me full force. Immediately, I feel Noah tighten his embrace again.

"Shhh."

My brothers are only my half-brothers.

It feels like I am going to choke because this thought literally takes my breath away. I forcefully pull myself out of Noah's embrace and let out a desperate gasp, willing my throat to open up and allow some air into my lungs.

"Woah!" he exclaims.

The weight on my chest doesn't get any less so I curl into a ball with my knees pulled against my upper body and my arms wrapped tightly around them. I doubt that I will ever be able to stop crying.

That is when I feel a hand on my head. Noah's fingers start to comb through my tangled locks. Another hand lands on my back, rubbing soothing circles on it. I let out a shuddering breath and notice with relief how my lungs fill with air and how breathing slowly gets easier.

"You're doing good, Lils. Just calm down, okay?" Noah says quietly.

He is not holding me anymore and I am glad, since that made me feel even more like I was suffocating. The steady movements of his hand and fingers have a very calming effect on me.

My brothers have a different mother than me.

I squeeze my eyes shut as this horrendous thought attacks my consciousness again.

I wish I could make it go away. I wish I could make my discovery go away. I wish I wasn't so curious in the first place.

Curiosity killed the cat.

Never has a saying sounded truer.

"Better?" my brother asks.

I try to concentrate on his question just to get rid of the disturbing thoughts wreaking havoc inside my head. This is when I notice that I have stopped crying. So much for never being able to stop.