Unravelling

Chapter 42 - Panic Reaction

I have not blinked in two minutes.

How do I know that?

Because from the corner of my eye, I have noticed the small clock on the bottom right hand corner of the computer screen changing twice while I have been staring at the information right in front of me.

I didn't even know that it is possible not to blink for that long.

My sight starts to blur, which is not surprising, considering the strain I am putting on my eyes. This cannot be healthy.

Alex is my father.

As soon as this thought finds its way into my consciousness, it hits me full force and I squeeze my eyes shut. My throat closes up and my breathing becomes heavy.

He has lied to me – again.

This realization wraps itself around my heart like an icy fist and it slowly but steadily starts to crush it into tiny pieces.

He has lied to me all my life.

At first it is just my fingers that start to tremble, but soon, my whole body is shaking.

"Lily?"

The voice sounds from very far away. I barely register it.

Lies. Lies. Lies.

This is the only thing going round in circles in my head. The voice calls my name again, but I am unable to focus on it, no matter how hard I try.

My body shakes even more now. It is probably only a matter of seconds until I fall off the chair because I cannot balance on it anymore. Then I realize that my body is not quivering in its own. Somebody is actually shaking me.

"Lily, look at me!" the voice commands.

"Tiny," it then hisses, "come out of it. Now!"

I force myself to open my eyes and immediately come face to face with Finn.

Where has the screen with that traumatizing information gone?

"Nu-hu, look at me!" Finn demands.

His cool fingers grab my face and he keeps my head from swivelling back towards the left where I have now realized that the screen is. He must have spun the chair that I am sitting on around to make me look at him.

"W-wh...," I stammer.

It feels like someone has put a vice around my throat and I am unable to get out any coherent words.

"You need to get a grip of yourself, Lily. People are getting suspicious", Finn whisper-yells at me.

I cough, hoping to clear my throat.

"A-Alex," I croak out.

"I know," is all Finn says.

What does he mean, he knows?

Am I the only stupid one here, who knows nothing?

I need to get out. Gathering all the necessary strength, I push Finn off me and jump to my feet. My actions must have stunned him because he lets me slip away without trying to hold me back.

I mindlessly run away from Debbie's desk, not really knowing or even caring where I am going. Luckily, there are not too many people around. I dodge a couple of them, surprisingly managing to avoid any collisions, and run through the nearest door.

Once I am out in the hallway, I instinctively find the ladies' room and run into one of three stalls. As soon as I lock the door behind me, the waterworks start. I lean against one wall and slip down until my butt hits the ground. Pulling my legs tightly against my body, I wrap my arms around the top of my knees and bury my face in them.