My heart was in the right place, but my mind was not. I laid in Jinxx's bed with him, not being able to fall back asleep. Erik had gotten to me really badly, and I kept waking up every hour so from thinking about it too much.
Jinxx was snoring softly, and it was really cute the way he did. I knew I was lucky to have him, and in my heart I felt like he could be the one. The other half of me said to ignore whatever my heart felt, because my judgement is usually wrong.
I got up slowly and quietly, and left the warmth of Jinxx's arms to go down the stairs quietly. I grabbed my coat and put it on, and put on my pair of TOMS. I went out the door quietly, and closed the door behind me. I walked into the cool night and thought about everything that was going on.
Was I crazy for thinking about Erik again? I felt as if it would be unfair to Jinxx if he knew I was thinking about other men besides him, but I don't know if I would ever be able to let this go. I have issues with trust, and all I know is that I feel like I'm going to be less open to Jinxx. It wasn't his fault at all, don't get me wrong, I only have myself to blame for this whole thing.
Erik was terrible to me, so why should I even care? I never loved him and he never loved me, it was as simple as that. I thought I loved him though, but looking back on it, it wasn't real love. It was a charade that he put on that tricked girls into thinking he loved them. When you finally thought he loved you, he beat you up emotionally leaving you alone.
I finally realized where I was, and noticed that I had walked almost twenty blocks. I shivered a little from the cold and decided it was best if I made my way back to Jinxx's house. I stuffed my hands in my pockets and hung my head low as I walked back. This whole situation was driving me mad.
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I eventually made my way back to Jinxx's house and I entered the house quietly.
"Where did you go?"
I heard Jinxx's voice come from behind me in the living room and I jumped. I turned around and saw that he was sitting on the couch.
"I just went for a little walk. I couldn't sleep." It wasn't a total lie.
"Well you should have woke me up, I would've went with you." Jinxx said.
"I didn't want to wake you up, you looked so peaceful."
Jinxx paused for a moment, "Is something bothering you? You know you can talk to me about it, right?"
I cringed a little thinking of the thought of Erik, "Yeah, I'm fine. Trust me." Total lie.
Jinxx nodded a little, and I didn't know if he bought it or not. We were silent for a few moments and I took my coat off and placed it on a chair.
"You want to go to bed then?" I asked.
"Alright." Jinxx replied. He came over by me and took my hand and led me up the stairs. We climbed into his bed and laid down. I cuddled into his chest.
"You do know you can tell me anything." Jinxx murmured softly into my ear.
I nodded and murmured back, "I know."
We both fell silent then, and I heard the faint sound of Jinxx's snoring. After some time I fell into deep sleep, and drifted away into the darkness. Sometimes I felt like sleep is the only way I can forget about everything.
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I woke up early the next morning, and sat up slowly. Jinxx was still sleeping-figures. I climbed put of his bed and pulled on one of his sweatshirts. It smelt like him, and I smiled to myself. I went downstairs to go get something to eat, and hopefully try and go back to bed.
YOU ARE READING
A Rebel Love Story (Jinxx Fan Fic)
RastgeleJane Smith has always been the kind of girl who was socially awkward, so when she met Jinxx, she thought that she would screw things up with him. Jinxx shows Jane many things she has never done before, getting her out of her comfort zone. As time g...