What froze his heart

-10-

" hey "
I said as I set my food down making Tess and Troy jump
" oh still recovering I see "
" I was attacked by birds and I was on the edge of a tall building "
She shivered and Troy said
" I was lost in a maze being chased by a monster I could only hear it growling "
They both looked at me and I said
" I was surrounded by snakes and I was back home and my father was beating me again "
They looked confused
" anyway it will get easier as we go in more "
They both looked at me
" We have to do that again "
They said in unison showing their twin connection.

Over the course of the next few weeks, that's all we did was practice. Me and Eric barely spoke because he always felt so bad after the simulation and other people would be in the room at times. This time after the simulation ended it was super late and it was just us
" I don't think I can keep doing this "
" what do you mean "
He looks at me concerned
" I don't think I can keep going in and ... it's fine "
I got up
" Carter "
" it's ok "
I left and I had the usual feeling that he was following but then that feeling stoped and I found myself standing on the edge of the place where many have taken their own lives. I started to cry and think about everything and then one foot was over the edge. The other wanted desperately to follow and it did but someone grabbed my wrist and I hit my side hard on the jagged edge. Suddenly I realized what was happening and I looked up and there was Eric trying so hard to keep us from both going over. I grabbed onto the rocks and started to pull myself up and when he could he grabbed me and pulled me up. He wrapped his arms around me and I could hear his heart racing and his breath raged but not from the effort it took to pull me back up. He had his chin on top of my head and he was genuinely rocking side to side and then I felt as his tears hit my head
" why would you do that "
His voice cracked when he said do and I said crying
" I don't know "
After a few minutes, he let go and we stood up and he didn't care anymore because he kissed me granted most people were in their beds but the few that were out could see us. He locked his fingers between mine and we went back to his room when we finally got there he opened the door and rushed me inside then proceeded to lock the door
" why would you do that "
He said with his head against the door and I said
" I don't know it just got to be too much I guess and it's hard to get over some of my fears "
A small laugh excepted his mouth
" well you should have just said that and I would have helped you somehow "
After a long awkward silence, I said
" Eric "
In almost a broken voice he quickly looked at me he and he had a slight redness to his eyes and I could feel and see the tears that were about the brake the line and run down my face. When they did he was hugging me and said
" it's ok I'm sorry but after this is all over and you are fully a part of Dauntless you won't ever have to go through any of that again... I promise "
I moved so I was looking at him our almost same hight made it easy. I placed a kiss on his lips and before I knew it we were on the bed still clothed making out. He started to pull at the hem of my shirt
" Eric didn't you say we wouldn't do this again till everything was over "
He rolled over to be on his back and said
" you're right you need to stay focused right now "
" Hey umm can I stay here tonight "
" yes "
He had a small smile on his face and it was so late. I got in bed and he turned the lights off. When he got in bed he pulled my shoulder so I was on my back then surprisingly he put his arm over my stomach and put his head on my chest then said
" Is this ok "
" yeah "
I started to play with his hair and soon we were both out.