Alpha Pride

Sickening

Rose's POV~

Months passed since the interaction I had with the General. I hadn't told anyone about it, not even Louise. Kai had been ignoring me too, a sideways glance here and there. Still, ever since then, it's been strictly a student-teacher relationship.

Battle strategy class had been going good; we also had lessons of outdoor survival, which I enjoyed. Louise opened the door to our room, and I immediately noticed the smile on her face.

She came into the room and leaned on the door behind her. "What happened to you?" I sat up on my bed, setting down a copy of Call of The Wild I had found a while back.

Louise's smile grew even more extensive than before as she made her way to sit in front of me. "Some girls in my class invited me to go to their room tonight for a sleepover." She couldn't contain her giggles.

I nodded once, but then my smile began to fade, "Is that allowed?"

She quickly nodded her head, "Yes, yes! We asked Major Nadia, and she said it was okay as long as I'm back before tomorrow morning! Can I go, Rose, please?" She held my hand in hers, and my smile returned.

"Of course, just try not to get in trouble, okay?" She threw her arms around me, and I returned the gesture. I didn't know the Major had a soft spot for kids. Hmm.

"I won't, I promise! Are you going to be okay here by yourself?" Louise's soft auburn brows furrowed as she awaited my answer.

"Yes, I will be fine. You have fun, okay?" She sprung up like a jack in the box and began to gather her things excitedly. After, she hugged me and said goodbye.

A while had passed after she had gone, and I decided that I did not like the silence as much as I thought I would. I had gotten so used to hearing her breath in the night it was hard to fall into sleep. Though sometime in the late hours of the night, I found myself in a dream.

Kai slowly made his way to me and pushed me along a hard surface. "W-what are you doing?" My breathing sped up, but he said nothing, only stared at me with a blank expression. His hands hastily ran under my shirt along my skin, part of me wanted to moan and enjoy this rare moment of his attention, but the other half was frightened. Why was he here? Only when he got frustrated and tore though my shirt did I begin to panic. His hands were clammy and rough, nowhere near gentle like they had been that one time. It was far different now, this Kai, disgusted me. His hands moved to my shorts, but it was no use; he was too strong. He ripped them off as if they were nothing but paper, and those slimy hands moved onto me. Clambering onto my skin, my most private place. He was violating me. I started to kick, and he got angry, trying to hold me down as he defiled me. Tears began to roll, but when I opened my eyes, a feeling I've never felt before spiked through me.

A man stood before me in black, his face covered. He still carried on assaulting me until I landed a kick on his jaw. I heard a satisfying crack as he stumbled back. When he realized I was conscious, he fumbled for the door and made an instantaneous exit.

I was so shocked and disgusted that someone had gotten away with that, that I didn't even think to follow him.

All I could do was sit there, feeling disgusted that I couldn't even protect myself. And most of all, feeling disgusted that he had touched me. Tears began to fall once more.

~~~

It was early in the morning when Louise slipped back into the room. After the happenings of last night, I was too afraid to close my eyes again. I was sure dark circles would be present, but I made my way to the showers with Louise nonetheless.

"Hey, Rose?" Louise's small voice pulled me from my thoughts.

I glanced at her, and she took it as her key to continue. "Did something happen last night? You look tired." Her worried expression made me smile, but because of the same expression, all I did was put my hand on her head. "Nothing happened, I'm fine. I just didn't sleep much last night."

"Oh, okay, I hope it wasn't because I wasn't there." I looked at her a moment before answering.

"Maybe I did miss you a little, but it's okay. How was the sleepover?" The previous worrisome expression fleeted her face when a bright smile took its place. "It was so much fun! We all did each other's hair and made up stories! I hope we get to do it again soon." Her forgetfulness of my disheveled appearance made me relax. I didn't want her to ever know what happened last night.

Later in class, I felt disconnected from the others. People talked back and forth between me, but I didn't notice, nothing seemed to hold my attention for more than a minute or two.

"Rose." I suddenly shivered in fear when his voice encircled me. "Where are you going? You need to train. And why do you look so tired?" He came up behind me as I stood in front of the door, eager to make a departure.

"Oh. Sorry, guess I forgot." I slowly turned back around to him but did not make any eye contact. I should have known this kind of behavior wouldn't be tolerated by him. The General raised his hand but halted when I flinched, not on my own accord.

I forced a glance up to his eyes but regretted it instantly. Was it confusion or hurt that swirled in his light brown eyes? Or was it both?

He cleared his throat and lowered his hand, "Is everything okay?"

Silence filled the air for a moment before I could formulate an answer. Complicated emotions swirled in my stomach. The corners of my vision began to grow black, and I swayed back and forth. Kai quickly reached out to steady me, but I pulled away and shook my head. "Sorry I'm fine." The pain in my chest convulsed but I resisted clutching my chest.

He looked at me with a furrowed expression and looked down, "I'm sorry."

My head snapped to look at him, "What?" Panic surged up my spine.

"I'm sorry about what happened a couple months ago, and how I ignored that it happened. I shouldn't have, but it can't ever happen again." Our eyes finally met, and I felt the panic, worry, and discomfort drain from my person. It wasn't him.

I let out a sigh, "It's okay, I understand. Shall we train?"

A ghost of a smile fell upon his lips as he nodded, "You sure you're up to it? You don't look so good."

I nodded back, a new intensity fueling me. "Yes. I need to be stronger."

Orion's POV~

After returning from the massive killing spree that went down, I washed in the shower and collapsed on my bed. I ran my hands down my face when I heard my door creak open. I didn't need to raise my had to know who had entered, her lemongrass scent wafted over me in a calming wave. 

My mother quietly stepped into the room, silently closing the door behind her. She came and sat next to me on the bed. "You smell of death again." Her voice was void of emotion, I knew that what I've been doing for the past months since Rose had hurt her far beyond which I could ever understand.

No mother likes to watch their son fall apart.

My head fell back against the pillow, "Did you expect me to stop?"

She sighed, "No, but I hoped you would." Stillness fell on the air. She looked away from me and closed her eyes, "At least, they aren't innocent people." Both of us sat in silence for a while. I know no one has the words to make the pain any less.

"I'm sorry, Orion." She sniffled, "I wish I could help you stop hurting, but I can't, and I feel so hopeless because I can't help you." Her tears started to flow freely now, and the sight of her crying made my heart twist in pain.

"Mom," I pulled her by her arm into my chest and enveloped her in a hug. "I know, I wish you or I or someone had the words to make it hurt less, but the truth is... I am thankful for this pain."

She pulled back to look at me, "What?"

I smiled down at her, "This pain is all that I have... To keep me sane. If I forget it," I paused, "I'll go mad."

She stared at me a moment longer before collapsing on me again. "You're a strange kid, you know?" I chuckled, and she began to cry, not because she couldn't help me, but because she knew the pain would never go away. No matter what I did, it was a part of me now, forever, and I welcomed it because it was her.