🔸Part Two of Texas Rollercoaster.....
Jaysean got a little southern piece of mind when he was shipped off to Texas. He was sent there to get his act together and straighten out. Little did he know he would meet someone who would teach him to love t...
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"Are you okay?" Xavier asked.
"I'm fine" I muttered stabbing my fork into my salad.
"How is therapy?" he questioned.
"It's fine. This doctor is way better than the last one" I spoke smirking.
"Funny" he deadpanned.
"I'm sorry. Talking about what I went through is becoming easier. She's helping me work everything out instead of burying it down" I explained.
My first session with Xavier was my last. We may have still been strangers but, it didn't seem right to try and seek help from him. He was fine with my decision to get a new psychologist. Besides I was more comfortable talking to him as a friend especially since I haven't really bonded with anyone since coming here.
"So what's got you so bummed?" he hummed.
"Jay called me today. I'm supposed to go over there so we can talk" I muttered.
"Okay," he hummed.
"After he kissed my sister I don't think there is anything for us to talk about. He knows our history and together or not that shit was outta line" I hissed.
"So don't go" Xavier suggested.
"But, I want to see him and if this therapy has taught me anything, you can only run from a problem for so long. Sooner or later it will come to bite you in the ass. Besides, I owe him an explanation" I breathed.
I knew that one of the reasons he kissed Leslie was to hurt me as I did him. It didn't excuse the fact but, I understood. This probably wouldn't have been an issue if I could have dealt with my past instead of hoping it would disappear.
After I finished my lunch with Xavier, I headed home to shower and change out of my suit. When I was done, I caught an Uber over to Jaysean's place. There were no expectations. I wasn't hoping we'd get back together but, at least the clear the air. Arriving at his door, I knocked and waited for him to answer.
"Hey" I murmured when I saw him standing in front of me.
"Come in," he said.
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"Why did you call me?" I asked cutting past all the bullshit.
"I wanted to talk to you" he responded.
"Funny. You didn't seem too interested in a conversation a couple of days ago" I scoffed catching an attitude.
"And that's my fault?!? Who broke up with who nigga!?" he snapped.
"You were really heartbroken as I could tell from the sight of you swallowing my sister!" I spat.
"I admit that was outta pocket but, I was high as fuck. I'm sorry" Jay sighed.
"Whatever, That doesn't excuse the fact you did it" I grumbled.
"I know. So are you okay? You seemed to have taken us ending well. Then again we both knew where you stood in the relationship" he chuckled.
"What do you want? To lock myself in my room. I'm not some bitch you fucked in the past. We broke up. It wasn't the end of my damn world" I told him.
"Shit I can tell. Guess we know why you couldn't say it" he hissed rubbing his head.
"Stop. You pressuring me every five minutes never helped. There's a reason why I didn't feel comfortable saying it and it isn't because you are the first. I lied" I confessed. The confusion and anger that took over his face was something Jaysean couldn't hide. It broadcasted itself over all his features.
"You gotta be fucking kidding me. You mean to tell me that you could say it to someone else but, not me. Oh, that's fucked up" he groaned.
"Well the last person I said it too, it didn't end well" I whispered as I ran a hand through my hair.
"What happened?" he asked his face becoming slightly softer.
"His name was Sam. We dated for two years in high school. He was my first real boyfriend, only thing was he hadn't come out. Our relationship was complicated, and it only got worse when I learned of my father's infidelity. I had really bad issues with trust during that time and finding out Sam fucked this girl in my class didn't help. It sounds stupid that his cheating caused me to be like this but, I watched what my mom went through. Seeing how love can destroy a person, it wasn't something I wanted to be a part of" I explained.
My parent's divorce was toxic as hell and one of the worst memories of my childhood. Add to that my first heartbreak and you have my fear of saying 3 small words. People always wanted to showcase love as this beautiful thing like the shit was Christmas but, it wasn't. Try watching a 10-year marriage get dragged through the mud, bringing so many lies to the light along with it.
"And now? How do you feel now?" Jay questioned crossing his arms.
"I love you. I've been in love you even if I couldn't say it" I spoke and it felt like a weight was lifted from my heart and if that didn't make me feel better, the smile Jay was wearing did.
"You not fucking with me right?" he asked stepping forward.
"No" I breathed. He nodded before pulling my head forward and kissing me. I'm not ashamed to admit I melted in his arms a little.
"We're not done talking" I moaned when he started getting carried away.
"I don't want to talk anymore" he whispered into my ear as his hands made their way into my hair, gripping it.
"Fuck!" I murmured and that's when I came to the conclusion that we could finish this conversation later.
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So, now you guys know why Leo was hella hesitant on telling Jay he loved him. It makes sense. He was dealing with two infidelities, his fathers and his own boyfriend at a really young age. Next, a surprise visitor and are they back together or not? Someone's going to get putin there place.
