Under the Influence

veinticinco

August Alvarez

I didn't think Kiana's mom would be running shit like that in her own house. I mean, the entire thing is just unexpected, but her dad telling her to get an abortion or cut all communication from family off. Now stuff like that is just really unnecessary. At the same time, it serves her dad right that her mom is now going through a divorce. Then again, it looks like it was heading there anyway.

Deep down inside it made me feel some type of way because if I didn't get her pregnant things wouldn't have gone the way it did. I feel responsible for bringing them to that breaking point. I look over at Kiana while we are sitting at a long red light.

I grabbed her hand, and stroked the back of it with my thumb. It's a thirty minute drive from her parents house to my dads.

"How are you feeling babe?" I asked her.

She didn't say anything, but continued to look out the window. In some way I understand what she is going through. She must have been a daddy's girl, and something like this broke her. I really don't want this to affect our baby, or her thoughts of keeping the baby. I have no doubt that she wouldn't, but it is something I'm keeping mind.

"Why would he say something like that?" I heard her mumble. I looked up and the light turned green.

"Don't let that affect your decision Kiana. You are a grown ass woman that can make her own choices in life. You don't need your dad or your mom's approval. But in the same token, I know what it is like seeking approval from someone that means a lot to you. Sooner or later you will realize that you should stop looking for it, and move on. That is still something I'm trying hard to get over, and it's a slow process." I said. I thought back on the times where I would do things to get Cheyennes praise or approval to what I did.

"But he wants me to get rid of something that is a part of me." Her voice trembled.

I didn't say anything because I'm trying to get my words right. My heart aches for her because I don't know what I would do if I was in her position.

"Listen to me, I may be one sad human being, but one thing I realized in life is not everybody will like what you do. I know this beautiful, intelligent, laid back, wine and weed smoking woman told me everyday is not promised. Any second, any minute, any hour could be our last so what's the point in regretting our choices. Live in the moment, and once it's done it's in the past. We can't relive our past, and we can't predict the future, so our present is the time to seize the moment. We are having a baby, even though you trapped me. I will be there for THE REST of your journey. Every step, weird cravings, mood swings, doctors appointment I'm going to be by your side. We will bring our daughter or son into a family that will love him or her no matter what. You brought me up from a dangerous path. I wouldn't be able to leave my mark, to leave a child in this world if it wasn't for you. Now it's my turn to repay that, and that to get you through this moment. It may not be as extreme as mine was, but I'm here." Every word I said came from the heart.

I can careless about her father because as long as I'm here, I'm going to protect Kiana. I felt Kiana's nail glide along my jawline and she kissed my cheek.

"Thank you August." She intertwined my free hand and held it.

"You welcome sweet cheeks. Now how many months are you? I forgot to ask." I said.

"Two months actually. The first month I kind of freaked out because I wasn't getting my period, but then I remembered that I was on birth control so I didn't get it anyway. Then I started seeing some red spots and I legit didn't have a period for a while because of it. I called my closest three friends to grab like the best home pregnancy test they could find, and took them all. Every last one came out positive." I nodded my head, but I started to get confused.