Under the Influence

cuarenta y dos

August Alvarez

"Y-yeah that could be fine." I smiled. It is genuine and also kind of forced.

We set up everything including the paperwork for it too. Talking to a therapist would help how I feel, but I do feel like there's something more wrong with me. This is a start so I'm making the right process.

As I got into the car Kiana called me.

"Hey baby."  She said, sounding fully rested and awake. I could hear her happiness radiating off her voice.

"Well look who's up. How did you sleep?" I asked her as I attached my phone to a holder on the vent in my car. Don't want to be pulled over while holding my phone.That's one thing I do not need to happen today.

"Better if you were here, but I did sleep well though. How was the session?"

"Felt really good. I feel like a lot of weight is lifted off my shoulders, and unveiling the start of my underlying issues." I stopped there not wanting to talk about more than I wanted to. I'm not quite ready to tell her why.

I know that in due time I will have to tell her about my mental health. The entire thing with Cheyenne is one, but Cheyenne caused so much more than what they both think. To be very much transparent, I don't think I should have jumped into a relationship or whatever this is between Kiana and I. I do love her, and that's something that I'm scared of though.

"It feels like there is more to it." she replied.

"It is, but I'm not ready to talk about why it is more. Just know when I work up the courage to actually do it I'll let you know. It was weird for me to just break down everything. I do have some questions though."

"Mmmm what you need." I felt like this is one of our smoke sessions where we are in the kitchen having a deep conversation and she does this cute thing. She placed her hands under her chin while smiling at me with her eyes closed.

"What made you come and talk to me?" I heard her give out this sexy ass little chuckle. That's one thing I didn't understand. People have told me that I look mean, but I'm just a nice asshole.

"You are very mysterious, low key smooth when you want to be, and just hard to read. You were high as hell when we started talking. You looked at me with those high eyes, but something else was behind those eyes too. Now that we do spend a lot of time together, that mystery was just your personality. Your personality isn't out there like most people are, and I feel like certain people you bring it out."

"For real?" Never thought of it that way.

"Yes baby. You are just a big fucking mystery until you let people in. Your personality doesn't show, then you are kind of mean. You honestly have a resting bitch face twenty four seven, and it's even more bitchy when you're high. People are scared to approach you probably because of that."

"But that is just my face though, and on top of that I have a great personality." I said in defense.

Kiana St. Clair

"You do baby, your personality is bomb, but from our first interaction you didn't show it. You are a type of person that brings that out when you have too, and puts it up when it is not needed. The real definition of a fake ass person." I laughed.

"That is fucking mean, but also true." she laughed too.

"Are you heading to the job or no?"

"Yeah I'm heading there now. I'm gonna go though, call me if you need anything babe."

"I will. I love you."

"I love you too."

I have a feeling I'm going to be doing a lot of emotional reinforcement. August is so hard to read, and so obvious to signs that are right there in her face. I was throwing very obvious hints once we really started feeling each other. The first time meeting it felt like she wasn't being emotionally fulfilled, and just damaged.

Sometimes I feel that August took pills to get attention, and was running from her own problems. August is fucking intelligent and can be detailed with what she wants. With how she went through the process to get her restaurant, she put all her attention to it. Plus she wouldn't stop talking about it until it was done. However, for her emotional needs, she doesn't speak about it. It's very difficult to actually know how she feels, but she expects me to read her mind. August personality isn't bold enough, and only comes out with her inner circle. She is the most complicated person I've ever dated, but I love that mystery and pulling all of that out of her. Then again sometimes it's frustrating because I shouldn't have to do that.

(I changed Kiana's best friend's name to Monique. She had the same name as her sister that I didn't realize so I changed it."

Monique came over to keep me company since today is her off day. I can still do my own jobs, but I don't want to stress myself out and our baby.

"Girl, you're looking ready to give birth." She said as I opened the door. I place my hand on my still growing belly rubbing it as I felt June moving around in there. I felt a little kick, but this one wasn't one of her painful ones. "Aww she is kicking."

"She probably trying to kick her GODMOM out of the house."

"No she... you're making me the Godmother of her. What's her name?" Nique was almost in tears with this new announcement I made unexpectedly to her.

I walked over to the couch after I closed the door. I sat down carefully on the large couch August and I bought.

"Yes I am, and her name is June Sabrina Alvarez. I wanted to give her August last name because hopefully I will be the new Mrs. Alvarez." I am claiming that title because our relationship is amazing, but I don't want to rush it either.

"Okay claim that title. What about, you know, August two best friends?" she asked me.

"Well, there is nothing in the baby godparent rule books saying that June can't have more than one godparent. In the Christian 'rules' there are typically three for girls. Two god moms, and one godfather. But August isn't really big on religion. She respects everyone's religion and outlook, but when things get too far or become violent then that respect kind of goes out the door." I said. We have had that deep conversation about religion, and she doesn't really like saying she is a part of a group.

"True, I can respect that. I love the house though, I would say give me a tour, but I don't want to overwork you. It looks beautiful so far though." Monique said.

"Her moms should be coming over to help a little bit more though. They're really nice, and are probably not as excited as her dads are. They were over the hills excited, now don't get me wrong her moms are too."

"Moms, dads?"

"Stepmom, step dad, real mom, real dad." I simply explained. "Her mom and dad are best friends. Never dated or anything, but had a child."

"Wow, okay that's fucking different. So what's up with August and you? Are you guys dating?" she asked.

Ooo I forgot to tell her that we are. "Yes, made it official the day after the opening of her restaurant."

"Bitch, that's fucked up. All this time, and now I know. I feel offended because you should have told me the same day she asked."

"I got distracted, okay." I laughed.

"Yeah distracted by the dick huh." she rolled her eyes.