Under the Influence

cuarenta y ocho

August Alvarez POV

Kian is pissing me off. She already doesn't want me around June right now. I know she doesn't still think I'm mentally capable of being around her. I love my daughter and I would never put her in any danger, even if it deals with myself. I already lost one and I'm not going to lose another due to my own behavior. Fuck what she has to say, I'm not that fucking stupid.

"August, please just tell me." Kiana pleaded. I can see the look in her eyes. She is worried and I wouldn't do anything stupid.

I heavily shighed, "Baby, I'm just going to be staying at my dad's for a while. I'm not going to do anything stupid or dangerous." That convinced her to hand me my phone after a while.

-

"Aww my baby. How are you doing?" my momma said walking over to me. Sienna hugged me as I closed the front door.

"A little better, but more annoyed from what Kiana did earlier. I'm really just trying to wrap my head around the entire situation at hand for real. Cheyenne knew at the time that I wanted kids, but obviously she thought different at the time." We walked to the living room, and say on the couch. "Then Kiana doesn't quite want me around June because she thinks I'm going to do something stupid. I love June with all my heart, and I will not harm my child."

"Hon, she is just a concerned mother. Understand, she has never dealt with you like this, and her first priority will be June. If I had a newborn and the same thing happened, I wouldn't want your father around the child at the time either. Don't be so hard on Kiana, she is trying to understand how to handle everything." Fuck, I feel bad how I somewhat flipped out on her.

"I hate you." I said leaning over with my hands on my face.

"No you don't." she rubbed my back, "Relax, because you haven't been out of that house since that day. We have weed and some Remy Martin. Did you eat today?"

"Just two blueberry muffins." With that she got up, and went to the kitchen. Welp, looks like I am getting fucked up tonight, and I'm not complaining about it.

Kiana St. Clair POV

"I don't know what to do . She completely shut me out, and it's hard to comfort her, and take care of June." I cried to Monique and Jada.

"Bae, she is just grieving." Monique said.

"She is right.Even though there was no bond with the child or fetus, August always wanted children. She loved Cheyenne more than anything. So at that time, Auggy would have been happy with the fact Cheyenne would be the mother of her first child. I mean look at it like this, imagine yourself always wanting a child and unknowingly have it taken from you before you knew what was happening." Jada added on to what Moni said.

"I get it but..."

"There is no buts, Kiana. That was her first child, even though she didn't know, she is still hurt. They were married. That is a bigger commitment than the relationship you guys have. June is her first child that she knew about during the entire pregnancy, the birth, and was able to hold the little one. As for the whole mental breakdown shit, let her go through the motions of grieving." Monique said. "I should put like a little hex on her."

Jada shook her head "Ookay, so ignoring the bruja here, I have some wine. Now I know you don't want to drink yet, but you need it. June is sleep for tonight...hopefully."

August Alvarez POV

Six blunts, Seven shots of Remy, and three bottle later. (A/N.. this is how I was on New Year Eve and Day)

"Oooooooh, loooooooovee. Never knew what I was missing'.But I knew once we start kissin'. I fooooouuuuund, love." We all sang at the top of our lungs.

We sound like a hot ass mess, but as a family we sounded good. I'm fucked up, and I can barely stand still. My momma wanted me to just relax, and de-stress because lord knows I must have been a fucking mess. I miss my girls though. I wanna rub on Kiana's booty right now while I watch anime, and she most likely took a bunch of pictures before watching it with me.

Damn I need my baby right now. I staggered into my room seeing my phone had been going off. I looked and saw that Kiana called me a couple of times. WIth the remy bottle in my hand, I clicked on Kiana's contact and called her. After the first two rings she answered her phone.

"Yes my love." I heard her say.

"I-I just want you to say I'm" I started hiccuping in between my words. "Im sorry, ya know what I'm sayin'. That was supposed to be my child, but shorty just was being selfish. I ain't mean to like take that shit out on you bae. It's me and you, you heard me. Aye, aye fuck what they talkin' bout'. It's me and you, you hear me."

I heard her laugh a little bit. "How much did you drink?"

I took a swig from the bottle then looked at it. "Shiiiidd Ion know. Bout seven...eleven shots, I don't know at this point. Don't worry about all that cause' it's me and you, know what I'm saying. Fuck what they talkin' bout'"

Kiana St. Clair POV

August is so drunk at this point. She just keeps repeating 'It's me and you' then 'fuck what they talkin' about'. Just talking like a drunk old man.

"Bae for real, I'm sorry, I'm just tryna, ya know, wrap my head around this. But listen baby, it's me and you, girl. Aye, hold on... Aye bitch! Get out of my room dickhead. My bad baby."

I loved her so much, and this drunk side of her is actually funny. I have a feeling that she has smoked also too because knowing all of them they are trying to make her feel better.

"Ooo fuck I'm gonna throw up."

"Did you eat baby?" I started getting concerned.

"Yeah, momma made these fire ass fried rice balls with rice and cheese and beef and sausage. I might go eat one."

"No baby, go and get some sleep. Are you coming home tomorrow?" I asked her. I can hear her moving around in her room.

"Mmtay" She said. Within a minute later, I heard her snoring in my ear.

I shook my head at her immediately sleeping after she  just laid down. She is going to wake up with the worst headache of her life in the morning.

September 15
August Alvarez POV

Oh my fuck my head feel like I have a child on my neck beating my head with a wooden brush. The sun somewhat shone through the blackout curtains through the cracks as I sat up a bit. I haven't drank like that since the start of 2019 last year. That was some fun drinking though. Hearing my door open, my dad walks in, and lays right next to me in the bed.

"We got fuuuucked up last night.I don't remember half the shit we did."

"That means I'm going to have a surprise brother or sister." I said. He groaned knowing that something like that is possible. " I remember a little bit, but the rest is hazy as hell. I fucked up badly with Kiana didn't I?"

"Yes and no. Yes, because you didn't communicate with her. If you want to marry this girl in the future, you need to be open about your feelings. She is far from Cheyenne, so don't shut her out like that. That woman loves you, and chose to be with you knowing your mental state, your emotional problems, and the problems with your marriage. Now for the no, you were mourning your unknown child. You have every right to feel some type of way about it, but don't shut her out." he told me as he laid his arm around me. "Snapping on her was not the move, and you know that."

"So I was wrong in the situation. Is that what you want to hear?" Knowing damn well that is really what he wants.

"You damn right. Yo ass somehow is always right, and the shit is annoying. Now come on Jimmy Neutron, get yo ass up so we can eat, I'm hungry." he got out of the bed.

Damn I need to make up with my future wife. I need to stop fucking up.