Life's short write it down

The start

Since I could remember I've always been different never the same as the other kids. Preschool it showed that I was out going but always sad looking never really in tune with what was happening around me I had night mares every night I dreamed of people dying. Later on I realized i had severe anxiety that I would black out for at least an hour each night and I would try to kill myself and make up excuses to why I was up and was convinced that I was supposed to die. As time went on I made friends but never really liked them. Once I was sitting on the bleachers and my back was against my friend she got s mad that she pulled my hair and made me fall backwards by the way I was all the way on the top. I fell all the way down falling head first on every seat I ended up with a concussion and a cut on my head. That really fucked me up . Later on I would flinch to this day I still do flinch whenever Someone puts their hand up Im afraid they will hit me. Because my friends would beat me up badly. I would get so anxious that I scratched my head till it bled. everyone said it was just a bad habit I had to break but it's wasn't a bad habit it was self harm. self harming when I was in third grade and maybe even before.