Falling deeper (Bxb)

Chapter 19

Heath's
When Tristan and Kent left the room, I was back at contemplating on how am I going to kill Sebastian. I hated him to death and everything.
Tsk, I was pissed and angry so much when I saw that gun pointed towards Tristan's head.

The door opened and I saw Tristan dejectedly walked in and closed the door behind him. He was staring at the floor as if he was thinking about something serious.
I was staring at him and my heart suddenly shivered. The pain on my back was pissing me off but seeing him alive and unscathed made my heart flutter in relief.

I don't like the I was feeling towards this stranger who brought out sides of me that I never thought existed. He made me feel the fear and worry that I never felt for six long years. He made me feel the pain of betrayal that I never wished to feel for six years. He made me feel the need to protect and care for him that I never thought I was capable of.

"Heath?"

I do not know what this boy is doing to my system. When I thought of him being shot to death yesterday, I felt like my heart squeezed so hard that my chest tightened, painfully that I couldn't breath. The adrenaline rush surprised me more than anything and I never thought I could run so fast like I did yesterday.
I never knew any of this emotions before, but the thought of losing him right in front of me scared me to death to the point that I even went my way to took a bullet for him.

"Heath?"

I bit my lip and tried to remove the thoughts running in rampage through my head but I couldn't. I couldn't like him can I? He's a guy for god's sake and I'm not gay damn it. I was starting to get pissed on my own thoughts when a loud voice shouted my name. I flinched when I felt warm and smooth hand caressing my cheeks in a very gentle way.

"Wh- what are you doing?" I asked. Suddenly nervous of his closeness. I stared at his worried eyes.

"I have been calling you for the past 10 minutes but you just kept on staring at me with a blank expression. Please don't tell me you hate me again." He said, his eyes tensed and scared as if I would push him out of my window just to get away.

I sighed.
"Why do you care so much on how I feel towards you? The hell, why would you even go your way to leave your father's group just for me?" I asked.

He leaned closer, "God Heath, you haven't been listening to all my words to you have you? of course I would care on how you feel about you, and of course I would do everything just to be beside you. Because I like you, I love you, I adore you, I'm drawn to you. Call it whatever you want Heath... But I won't ever let you reject it, I will do everything to be stuck with you, even if I had to squeeze myself in your closed heart, so be it." He whispered as he leaned closer as he speak.

He stared at my eyes as he leaned even closer, when he didn't see any disagreement, he closed his eyes and captured my lips on his. I shivered from the contact and stayed still for a while. Tristan's hand slid up my arms and rest on my nape as he pulled me closer, deepening the kiss. He moved his lips slowly against mine, gently, passionately, giving me room to get used to it and not freak out.

When I decided to return the kiss, he took it into another level and deepened it even more. He slid his tongue inside my mouth and explored for a while before greeting my own tongue with a gentle rub.
I moaned and I felt him shift closer after hearing it.
I squeezed my eyes shut because of lack of air.
When I couldn't take it anymore, I pulled away and gasped for air immediately.

I was about to breath out but the air got stuck on throat since Tristan aggressively attacked my lips once more, not giving me the chance to refuse. I just went with the flow and kissed back with the same intensity while watching him.
He pushed me on the bed and kissed me while hovering on top of me.

He pulled away after a few minutes, he stared at me like he was looking at the most beautiful view he had ever seen, the sparks and glitter on his eyes were so bright that I squinted from it.
He took a satisfied sigh and flopped on top of me.

"You're damn heavy." I growled.

"You kissed me back Heath. It means you can't go back to hating me and pushing me away because I won't let you. You kissed back so it means you atleast feel something for me, there's no turning back now." He said and I frowned deeply.

He chuckled after that and gently laid his head on my chest. I let him and I started stroking his hair gently.

"Heath?" He called

"Mm"

"Can I ask you something?" He asked. He laid there without turning to look at me.
I continued stroking his hair while looking at the ceiling as well..

"Go on" I said.

"If.. Just if.. I killed someone, but I have a reason to. Like, Hatred and pain that the person I killed caused me for a long time, let's say.. A great pain from betrayal and heartbreak.. Will you hate me?" He asked.

I frowned and my brows knitted automatically.
"Where the hell did that came from?" I asked.

"Just.. Just answer Heath, please. It's just a situation it's not like I'm planning of killing someone anytime soon." He said.

I sighed and remained silent. How the hell would I know? Listening and knowing how much pain a person had gone through is totally far from actually experiencing it yourself. It might not be enough reason for me because it's like unreasonable and the 'forgive and forget' speech might be used but the person who experienced the pain might have been living this shitful life just to kill them and free himself from the hatred and pain. It's totally different and I have enough experience to say that I don't have the slightest fucking right to judge someone's action without going through what they had gone through.

I sighed once more and shook my head a little.
"I don't know Tristan. It's not like I exactly felt how you felt in that matter for me to judge you." I said.

"But what if, what if I would explain to you how they'd hurt me, and how much hell I had gone through.. Will you. . hate me still?" He asked.

"I don't know Tristan. I swear, What I will answer today will be different when we're at the situation. It will be different, and I swear I can't decide until I was there. Now, mind telling me where all those situational questions came from?" I asked.

"It's nothing Heath, I just randomly thought about it." He said.

I pushed him gently away from me to look at his face. I frowned but didn't push it. I kissed his lips for a while before pushing him off of me.
"Go home already. I have to rest and you have to as well. You were awake since yesterday just to be with me." I said.

He was about to protest but I glared at him before he could.
"Refuse to do what I am telling you and you don't have to show your face in front of me ever again" I snarled.

He frowned deeply and slumped his shoulders before turning around.
He quickly turned back to me and was pouting so much.
"At least give me a kiss and hug then" he whined.

I sighed and rolled my eyes before opening my arms.
He beamed happily and run towards me. He slid himself in my arms and pulled me by the waist. He kissed me passionately for a while before hugging me so tight.
"Enough. Enough" i said patting his shoulders rashly before I suffocate. He chuckled and kissed my forehead before looking at my eyes.

"From now on, you're my boyfriend. You can't decline " he said and pecked my lips and run out of the room like a mad man before I could utter any reply.
I rolled my eyes but I couldn't help but smile.
I looked outside my window, keeping my smile on my face and stared at the sky.

Something good can still happen in this shitful life huh.