late night love

fears

her
him

***

she didn't acknowledge his presence when he arrived. she was lost in thought. he sat next to her and waited, knowing she would speak when she was ready.

"most fears stem from the fear of death or pain, whether it's pain you feel or the pain of someone you care about. there are, of course, exceptions to this, like xanthophobia, fear of the¹
color yellow, or arachibutyrophobia, which is the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth." they both laugh, he more so than she. she pauses before she continues. "and there's also phobophobia, the fear of fear itself." he smirked wryly.

"'the only thing to fear is fear itself,' right?" she smiled before looking at the ground. "what is it that you're afraid of?" she didn't answer for a few minutes.

"i love to say that i don't fear anything. i don't fear death and i don't care if i get hurt." she pauses, so he filled in the gap.

"but you care about everyone else." she nodded.

"i have two main fears, the only ones i ever acknowledge. dystychiphobia, fear of hurting someone, and atelophobia." she took a deep breath. "fear of not being good enough." he took her hand.

"being good enough for who?" she squeezed his hand.

"my friends. my family." she looked at him. "you." he kept his gaze locked on hers and used the hand still in hers to pull her into a hug.

"you'll always be good enough. you're intelligent, kind, creative, caring, unique, and a million other things that i could spend a lifetime saying but never get to them all. you're amazing and far more than just good enough. you care so much about everything. the world doesn't deserve you." he hugged her tighter. "i don't deserve you." she pulled back to look him in the eyes.

"if anything, i don't deserve you. you . . . you're incredible. you feel so much and you're so honest. you let people know how you feel but you're also an incredible listener. you appreciate everything around you. you always want to help. you always know what to say or ask or when to just listen. you are the best person i have ever met and i'm so lucky to have you in my life." they both smiled at each other.

"it seems both of our fears are irrational."

"what was your fear?"

"being abandoned."