'Fucking hell, how could her day have gotten like this? Her whole damn sex life was just blasted in court like no big deal. Like seriously what the hell?' Right out for everyone to know wild she was so to speak. She left the courthouse, oh she was humiliated and downright pissed off. She had a right to be. Nate told all to save his own ass. Amanda Rollins was a private person for the most part. Yeah she had her issues for example the gambling but she was working on that. She got back to the squad room. Storming off to the cribs she heard Carisi make a smart ass remark bout the case and where Amanda had been stupid enough to be sleeping with the guy. Oh that set her off even more. Stopping dead in her tracks, blue eyes blazing, chest heaving up and down as she was angry. "Care to fuckin' say that shit to my face 'new guy'?" She knew Carisi hated being referred to as the new guy and usually she was sensitive to it and didnt call him that. Right now she didnt give a shit. He was running his mouth and she was hearing it. He looked at her, giving this wierd, distant 'oh shit' type of look. Amanda glared, she spat "Come on Carisi, since you wanna run your mouth. How bout this? Yeah I fucked him, more than once and the son of a bitch hung me out to dry. Whats the matter, you jealous choir boy? You wouldnt be able to handle me." Fin got up, he had to get his partner calmed down. If not Liv would have her ass and he was tired of seeing Liv rip into her. He touched her shoulder gently and spoke. "Manda come on. You need to calm down. You know you're my partner and I got your back. Pay no attention to Carisi." He shot Carisi a look that told him to keep his smart ass mouth shut. "Come on Manda, go take a break in the cribs. Noone will bother you."
Amanda sighed and let Fin walk her to the cribs, reluctantly at first cause she really wanted to keep at Carisi. But she knew if she did there would be more repercussions for her then there already was. She didnt need all this bullshit. She thanked Fin for making her go cool off. He told her anytime. "Plus Manda, I aint ready for another partner." She smiled. He left the room and let the door close quietly. She sat on the cot, bending over to take her shoes off so she just relax and try to cool off. She took her blazer off and just laid back on the cot. Her head was pounding and all she could see and hear was Nate hanging her out to dry to save his own ass. She needed to calm down, she was so upset, she could feel the angry tears trickling from her eyes. Burning hot as they started to really fall.
After a lil bit she drifted off. She hadnt slept since the damn trial started and it was finally catching up with her. Since Liv had just gotten back from dealing with I.A.B. Fin pulled her aside to let her know what was up. She was shocked to learn what had gone down. "So she has a shit day in court and comes here and goes after Carisi. Come on Fin. She cant act like this. She's an adult for christsakes." Fin grabbed Liv's arms "Liv trust me on this one, let it go. Better yet be a friend. She doesnt need anymore repercussions. The woman needs a friend." Liv scowled. "What she needs to do is get back to work. So are you going to go get her, or am I?" Fin looked at Liv. "Look Liv, we've known each other how long? Give her a break. I'd be the first to tell you if she was fucking up. She's not, she's trying to get over this. You didnt see her in court today. You didnt see her practically slut shamed. That hurt not only her, but it hurt me too."
Liv had told Fin to get back to his task at hand. She was going to go talk to Amanda herself. She had legit had enough of the blondes attitude lately. When she walked into the room she saw Amanda curled up on the cot. She had her fists balled up and her head was thrashing. The closer Liv got she could hear Amanda mumbling "why is he saying all this shit. this isnt true. Fucking shut up Nate, just shut up." Then she could see Nate pointing her out right in the courtroom, everyone turning with the reactions of "oh my god." She had been humiliated in court. Then coming back having Carisi start his shit. The dream was intense as hell. Liv continued to get closer to the blonde, as she did she could see the beads of sweat on her forehead. Just as Liv was going to try and rouse the blonde from her slumber, the blonde sat up. She had completely woken herself up. She looked over and saw Liv standing there. She was still in a pissed off mood so her mouth right now was her own worst enemy. "Coming in here to yell at me too? Come on Liv give me your best. I know you wanna berate me and make me feel beneath you." Liv put her hands on her hips. This was not how she wanted this conversation to go. "Look Amanda I know you're upset but that doesnt give you the right to talk to me like that. I came in here to check on you. Not to be disrespected. Now I'll give you a chance to change your tone with me before I send you home for a few days unpaid."
Amanda glared back at Liv before putting her head in her hands. "Liv today has not been my fucking day okay. You werent there in that courtroom. You were off with I.A.B., you didnt hear my sex life being on trial. So please dont patronize me and act like you care. Cause I know you could give a rats ass on how I'm feeling okay. Ill be out to work in a few. Im trying to avoid Carisi at all costs for the time being so I dont rip his throat out." Liv looked at Amanda. She felt bad for Amanda. She actually hadnt wanted to come in and rile her up. "Ok Amanda can we just cool off and start this over? I actually came in here to see how you were. I didnt come in here to fight with you." Amanda put her shoes back on and grabbed her jacket. Pulling the blue blazer ontop of the now wrinkled soft grey shirt she had on. "Thanks for the concern Lieutenant but I am fine." When Amanda got up Liv gently touched her shoulder. "Amanda I know we dont see eye to eye but I am here if you need someone to talk to."
Amanda went to her desk to finish her work. Carisi kept looking at her. That was really getting on her nerves so she flipped him off. Liv caught sight of the gesture "ROLLINS MY OFFICE NOW". Amanda huffed, slammed her pen down on her desk, pushed her chair back and headed into Liv's office. "Yes Lieutenant." Liv got up pushed all her hostility aside, she could see that her detective really wasnt herself. "Close the door please. I want to talk to you and not have the whole squadroom hear." Amanda closed door. She folded her hands together "Please dont tell me you're gonna berate me in private. I'm really not in the mood for it today Liv. Really not much more I can take at this point." Liv shook her head. "No Amanda I'm not. I didnt plan on it. I honestly only called you in here to check on you. Can you tell me what has set you off, especially with Carisi. I know you can be snippy, sarcastic and what not but this is different." Amanda's shoulders slunk down. She was embarrassed and hurt, and even still mad. "He was making smart ass remarks bout how I was sleeping with Nate. Pretty much saying I deserved to have the whole courtroom hear bout my so called'sexcapades'. Yeah I snapped Liv. Come on now. What would you do if that were you? I dont think you would take it too lightly." Liv gestured for Amanda to take a seat. Amanda did cause she asked nicely and plus she just felt she was going to collapse at any given time. Liv sat next to Amanda, not too close cause she knew how Amanda was when people got too close. "Do you mind telling me why you let that piece of shit do that to you?" Amanda glared, she snapped "Oh yeah Liv, I just completely let him do that to me. Why did you want to talk to me anyway? Again you dont give a shit." Liv touched her hand, "I'm sorry that didnt come out like it was supposed to. What I meant by that was why do you let him get away with treating you like that? You dont deserve it." Amanda took a deep breath before answering. "It's just the way it is. He knows too much about me. And this is his way of showing me that he has me right where he wants me. Is that it Liv? I really just wanna be left alone." Thinking in her head 'she couldnt tell Liv, she couldnt tell her that she was infact bisexual and that she had a thing for her. Liv already fucking hated her as it was. She couldnt deal with Liv really being a shit if she found out that detail. But at the same time she just wanted it out in the open.' Here goes nothing. "Ok Liv you really wanna know what he has over me? He knows I'm bisexual, and was threatening to let everyone know." Liv looked at her, she spoke with understanding in her voice. "Okay so you enjoy the company of women and men sexually. That doesnt make you a bad person Amanda. That doesnt give him the right to do what he did to you either." Amanda shrugged. "Well he knows something else that can hang my ass literally." Liv looked at her, this woman was complex as hell. "What might that be Amanda. Im sure it cant be that bad." Amanda looked. "Oh it is. Might as well tell you cause the way he is he'll come here and rat my ass out. Here goes nothing. Let's just say there's a certain someone here who I definitly fancy more than anyone. It's you Liv. Dont worry I can keep it professional. I have since I've been here. So dont wig out on me please." With that Amanda left for the day. She couldnt handle anymore.
