Liv kissed her cheek gently. "Yes I have replayed what you admitted earlier. Quite a bit actually. There's something you dont know about me Amanda. I'm guessing I should tell you."
Amanda looked at Liv, she could see a softness in her eyes. This was a different side to Liv than she was used to. She wanted the brunette whom she thought was beautiful to open up and tell her. Liv was trying to figure a way to tell Amanda that she wasnt totally oblivious to feelings. "Honey let's just say you arent the only one." Amanda sat up, taking Liv's hand in her own. "What do you mean I'm not the only one?" Liv smiled, she thought that Amanda was playing coy and couldnt see the interest. "My sweet Amanda, I think my bitchy side came out to protect myself if that makes sense. You see I've been interested for a while. I just couldnt bring myself to say anything. I dont know what it is, I have never had an issue voicing my opinions or anything but with you I just got all shy." Amanda thought it was adorable that Liv was shy with her. Amanda smiled "You dont have to be shy hun. You can be honest with me. I wont think of you any differently."
Liv thought for a few. For some reason it just felt right, having Amanda here in her arms. Like this was where she was supposed to be. She remembered being this intimate with Alex, they had been a hell of alot more intimate than what she and Amanda were being. She did have some pangs of feelings and attraction. Yes Amanda was a very beautiful woman. Things that plagued her besides Amanda being her subordinate was the age difference. She was a woman in her early fifties and Amanda was in her mid thirties. Taking a sip of her drink she braced herself to tell Amanda her honest true feelings. Such a hard thing for her cause like Amanda she didnt like to let people in who could use her words and feelings to potentially hurt her. Amanda sensing her nervousness backed off a bit. She wanted Liv to feel comfortable in opening up to her. Liv looked at her confused a bit as to why she moved away. "Did I do something wrong to make you move away from me?" Amanda shook her head vigorously. "No Liv. I just wanted to back off a bit and let you talk and get out what you need to get out. Ill move closer to you no problem." Liv smiled as she reached over and patted Amanda's leg. "Sweetie you need to sit where you're comfortable too. This isnt all about me, it's about you too." Amanda nodded "I am comfortable Liv. I just want to let you talk and hear what you have to say. I want to hear what you have to say. You heard me." She was right, Amanda did lay it out on the line and told her. Now was Olivia's turn to open up and let it out. Taking a deep breath she began to speak. Amanda leaned in and gave her full attention. "Amanda you arent the only one who has this attraction. I've been attracted for a while. You keep me on my toes. I'm not gonna lie, I find myself watching you during the day at work. I know that sounds stalkerish, but your beauty captivates me. Your way of putting people in their place. Love that, you make them listen and pay attention not by violence but by your quick wit and sharp tongue. Hell I've been on the receiving end of that plenty of times and you have made me shut my mouth." Amanda smiled, a bit of a blush creeping across her cheeks. Here she was sitting with her boss, her crush, she had on lounge pants and a tank top she wasnt appropriately dressed for this. But she had questions and alot of them. Her main one was now that they knew how each other felt what were they going to do about it?
Amanda sighed, her chest heaving as she did. Her nervousness really kicking in as what she wanted for a long time coming true. "Well Liv, I do have questions, reservations even." Liv took a hold of her hand as they were still sitting close together. "What are they? Tell me so we can work on them." Amanda sighed. Her reservations running through her mind like a jumbled mess. "Liv the main one is, you're my boss and we work together, what happens if we have a spat?" Liv smiled, "Sweetie of course we'll have spats. We are human. But its how we work them out. For one, they stay out of the precinct. For two we listen to each other and hear each other out, no matter what it is." Amanda looked at her. Was she actually hearing all of this? That Liv wanted to try and be a couple. Amanda wanted this. She wanted it bad. She was scared though. Liv was too. Amanda had to know what happened if they were to have a heated argument. "Okay say we are together Liv, what if we have a really heated argument? I cant take the brash, harsh treatment you give me at work being your subordinate." She hated seeing Amanda so leary of her and the possibilty of them but at the same time she understood cause she was hard on her quite a bit. She had to do something to reassure the woman that she wasnt out to hurt her.
Amanda leaned back on her futon. Liv knew tonight was far from over. The blonde in her presence just like her had been hurt one too many times and getting her to trust her wasnt going to be easy and it was going to be hard work. She wanted to get close, really let Liv in but she was scared. "Olivia I wanna let you in. I wanna get close and let all this good stuff that I want to happen actually happen, but I am scared. I dont wanna be hurt. All I want is someone to understand that I yes I come across as a hard ass. Yes I am a smartass with a smart mouth, but all that aside, I have feelings and I can be hurt. I may play it off so you dont see how deep I get hurt but I do hurt." Liv touched her shoulder, speaking gently "Manda, sweetie, please talk to me. Please let me in. I'm not going to hurt you and I sure as hell wont let anyone else hurt you." Amanda had turned to the side of the futon, she didnt want Liv to see her tears, her vulnerability. She didnt want to risk being shunned. Liv did what she felt was right, she moved closer to the blonde and started to rub her back gently. When she wasnt met with being pushed away she itched closer and kept up the rubbing. She gently laid her chin on Amanda's shoulder and said softly but firmly reiterrating her words just a minute ago "I'm not going to hurt you and I sure as hell wont let anyone else hurt you." Amanda still didnt turn around but she reached her hand up to gently touch Liv's face even caressing just a bit. She then said softly words that almost broke her heart cause she spoke with such vulnerability, "You promise?"
