fourth wheel | changlix

07

Coming to class proved itself to be totally useless today. I couldn't focus at all, my mind nervously wandering to the date that would happen once classes were over. In the beginning, I could somewhat keep the nerves in check, but then I got a text from Changbin asking me what time my classes were over, and that's when stuff got real.

You could ask why I even bothered to come to class in the first place, because we all knew it wouldn't work out anyway. The only reason why I'm here is that it would be weird to skip all classes, only to show up in the school's library once classes are over. That goes against my morals, so I forced myself to endure the tortures called lectures-that-are-pointless-today.

The knowing glances from Hyunjin and Chaelin weren't really helping, either.

It's safe to say that I'm grateful for fate to not let me run into Changbin the entire time today. I only saw him once, coming out of his classroom in the distance. I took that as my cue to run, knowing very well that I wouldn't be able to face him properly, anyway.

Chaelin told me that he saw me, though, so I probably only made a bigger fool out of myself instead of saving some of the little dignity I have left. But hey, if Changbin really is the man for me, he'd better get used to my weird antics.

Well, to make a long story short, today was a mess, and now I'm on my way to the library. Unconsciously, I keep my steps as small as possible, as if I'm trying to buy more time to mentally prepare myself or something. But as soon as I catch myself, I pick up the pace. Come on, Felix, this is the moment you've been waiting for, don't be a coward!

I muster up a brave smile as I enter the hallway that leads to the library. Because of my loitering, Changbin is probably already inside –if this wasn't all a big joke, that is– and I don't want to let him waiting for too long. Fighting off all the hesitation, I step through the double doors that are opened invitingly, and them I'm in the library.

Welp, here goes nothing.

There are quite some students in the library. It isn't crazy, since a lot of students prefer to finish their homework here rather than at home, where it'll probably end up being forgotten. The library is filled with soft chatter and I feel my nervousness slowly fading away a little. Even if Changbin and I won't know what to talk about, we're not surrounded by a deafening silence. The only silence we'd have to deal with is the awkward silence between the two of us.

I quickly make my way to the back of the library, where a few booths are hidden between the tall bookshelves. It's a pretty comfortable spot, and thus a very popular spot as well. I wouldn't be surprised if all the spots are taken already, which would mean that our date would happen somewhere on the floor between the bookshelves or in the old beanbags that lay scattered here and there.

Well, as long as Changbin is there, anything is fine by me. He could take me on a date to a stinky junkyard and I'd still be the happiest person on earth.

Surely, all the booths are indeed taken, but one of them is occupied by a now light brown-haired boy clad in a purple sweater, scrolling through his phone and typing occasionally. I hardly even notice the wide grin that spreads over my face as I approach the booth, until my cheeks actually start hurting and I quickly tone it down a little, not wanting to look like a total creep in front of my crush.

Trying to look casual, I attempt to slip into the booth like a normal person would, taking a seat opposite of Changbin. But I somehow manage to trip, and I let out a small yelp as I use the table to keep my balance. The older boy looks up from his phone with wide eyes, obviously surprised by my rambunctious arrival.

"Felix? Are you okay?" he asks, proceeding to get up to help me if needed.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine," I breathe out, my cheeks burning red with embarrassment as I properly take a seat. "H-Hello, hyung."

Great, one minute into our date and I already messed up big-time. This is even worse than dancing the renegade on a table. Why am I always like this?

Changbin watches my inner struggles with mild concern before smiling hesitantly. He sits back in his seat again, motioning towards two sealed paper cups on the table.

"I got us milkshakes," he explains. "Strawberry or vanilla? You can pick what you want. I like both."

I blink, surprised by the gesture. He got us milkshakes for our first date? If that isn't goals, then I really don't know anymore.

Changbin seems to take my silence the wrong way, and his smile quickly turns awkward.

"I mean, if you like milkshakes–"

"Yeah, I do, don't worry," I state quickly, my eyes nervously darting between the two sealed cups.

Here I am, sitting in front the Seo Changbin and I'm a complete mess. I gulp, hoping that it would magically erase all the nerves, and point towards the baby pink paper cup.

"I prefer strawberry."

The corners of Changbin's lips curl up into a small smile. "Perfect, since I prefer vanilla."

He pushes the strawberry-flavored milkshake in my direction, and I find myself zoning out again. Here I am, sitting in a booth in the school's library, the edgy emo guy I have a crush on for God-knows-how-long sitting in front of me, looking all soft with his pastel hoodie and soft brown hair and his frigging adorable smile as he waits for me to accept the milkshake. It makes my heartbeat do weird things, and I realize once again how whipped I am for Seo Changbin, despite hardly knowing him at all.

But now isn't the time to space out, so I reach out to grab the paper cup and return the smile, albeit a bit flustered.

"Is this even allowed in the library?" I ask, shaking the cup in my hand a little to emphasize the drink.

"Food isn't, but drinks are fine," Changbin replies. "I'm assuming you don't come here a lot?"

"You assumed right, my friends and I usually got kicked out because we talked too much so we didn't see the point of going here anymore."

"That really sounds like a Felix thing," the boy opposite of me chuckles, and it makes me wonder what exactly my reputation is on the school grounds.

My expression must've changed, because he quickly adds, "don't worry, I think it's adorable."

In order to keep myself from freaking out, I quickly take a sip of the milkshake, but even the sweet strawberry flavor doesn't stop the blush from creeping up my cheeks.

Fortunately for me, Changbin doesn't make any dangerous remarks after that, and it isn't long before we find ourselves talking comfortably. Slowly but surely, we get to know each other better, talking about hobbies and interests, likes and dislikes, and a lot of other interesting stuff. I learned that Changbin is really interested in sports and music, and that he's planning to study music production after graduating from high school.

When I asked him if I could hear some of his work, he got flustered for the very first time and I tell you, it was the cutest thing ever.

Putting down his now empty paper cup, Changbin glances over my shoulder discreetly, leaning closer to whisper,

"Don't look behind you, but I think our friends joined forces to spy on us."

I fight the urge to snort because honestly, that doesn't surprise me at all. Actually, I was waiting for Hyunjin and Chaelin to show up and expose themselves somehow, but it looks like Changbin's friends had the same idea.

"I think that means it's time to get out of here," I reply, keeping my voice hushed. "I was getting hungry anyway, wanna grab a bite somewhere?"

The older nods, smiling that beautiful smile again, and I can't help but smile back at him. We quickly get up and leave the library, tossing the paper cups in a bin on our way out.

Time to continue our date away from our nosy friends.