Sour Sweet: Rain In The Sunshine (KTH)

21. Realization

"No way."

"Yes way."

"No way!"

"Yes-"

"What do you mean you rejected him because of your religion rules?" Jiyeon snaps,

Yes, I just told her about how I rejected Taehyung and she doesn't want to accept that I had just rejected the once nominated as the number one most handsome man in the world.

Not that he's not anymore, he will always be the most handsome man in the world.

So I begin explaining to her what's Islam and its rules about marriage in different beliefs.

then she freaks out and goes,

"No, girl, that's so unfair!"

I roll my eyes, "It is fair, look, what'll gonna happen to your kids when their parents have different beliefs? What'll they choose to belief? Oh so you don't wanna have kids, okay, then do you think your relationship would go fine and smooth with the two of you going to a different place to pray?

"And what about the arguments you'd have about those you believe and he doesn't? It's not gonna work, trust me." I finish and she blinks at me.

I'm about to open my mouth again when she finally sighs to agree, "Okay, you got a point."

"I got some points."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm still not over the fact you just rejected the man. The man. It's Kim Taehyung we're talking- if I were you, I'd fudge the rules, I wanna marry him." She exlaims, pressing on each word on her last sentence.

I sigh, "Listen here, have you ever heard that everything happens for a reason?"

"Yeah, what about it-"

"Well then I rejected him for a reason." I simply say,

She scoffs, "even toddlers would know that."

"And have you ever heard what they say 'You deserve someone better?'"

"Of course. But there's no one better than Kim Taehyung, oh except Jungkook oppa for my case-"

"That's it!"

"But-"

"I believe that Allah is planning something so much better for me than me planning to break the rules. So I'm waiting for that. I have a good feeling about this." I say, telling the last sentence mostly for myself.

I just have that feeling when something good is going to happen. Even if I'd suffer through the pain of trying to forget the feelings for Taehyung, I know I'll get something better.

But Jiyeon over here is not accepting it, she storms to the fridge as she grunts. I chuckle to myself, she just doesn't understand because she doesn't believe it.

"Oh I wish my life was similar to yours, having Jungkook oppa proposing, 'will you marry me, Jiyeon-ah?' And I'd cry in delight..." She goes, mimicking Jungkook's voice by lowering her voice and starts to ramble about her dreams. Which I don't want to listen.

So I take my phone from the nearby couch where I threw it on, and open my WhatsApp to send my parents a text.

We're going to have our graduation ceremony in three months and I'm canceling the plan to go to Indonesia for a visit because, well, I want to be here for some months more. Who knows Taehyung would've done his tour and maybe we could-

Okay, need to stop hoping what's not gonna happen.

-----------

It's late.

So late at night. And now what am I doing?

"Nana-ya, it's okay, I understand." Jiyeon pats me on my back as she hugs me.

I let out a sniffle, "I- I never have missed someone like this. It's- it's so painful, Ji- Jiyeon-ah.."

"I know, I know. We can't do anything about it." She says in a soothing voice, caressing my head which is on her lap.

I don't know how, but just as I about to drift into my dream, pictures of Taehyung treating me with foods, taking care of me when I was in the hospital, visiting me once in a while just popped up in my mind.

It's so fresh and I don't know how to stop it.

"Nana-ya, you took the medicine, right?" His worried voice ringing in my ears and I cry even more.

"What's happening? Why are you crying?"

As he was asking me questions, I drifted to my sleep in control of the medicine.

**

"Naa-ya," he calls me before a long pause, letting the strong winds fill in the quietness between us.
I shiver and shove my hands into the thick coat's pocket, hiding from the icy air. "Do you like him?"

I blinks in a quick motion as I ask the question to myself, do I like him?
It's true that I've always been anoyyed everytime he teases and find my mistake to point on, but I always smile back to him when he's smiling at me-- I mean, it's not that I often see his genuine smile, anyway.

"Well?"

"No. I see him as a friend, like I feel happy to have someone popular to notice me." I say truthfully, not leaving him in the eyes.

He then moves his vision onto the grass, "T-Then do you see me like that, too? What if I'm not popular, then you would just ignore me, not sparing a time to chat with me, and probably thinking I'm a freak to steal you kakao ID--"

"Hey, I didn't say that, did I?" I ask softly, picking words in my head so I won't make my sentence in a wrong meaning again.

"You didn't but it means that way too--"

"Taehyung oppa, " I stop him as I walk closer to squat down infront of him, searching his eyes above so he can see mine. Instantly hiding a surprised feeling when I found how beautiful his features are.

"You're like a brother to me, I have no one in this beautiful country except Jiyeon and you. Losing both of you is the last thing I want in life."

Moving his eyes to my left and right eyes as if reading them, he let a big exhale and tilt up his head and put his mask up to cover his mouth and nose.

"Let's get you go home, it's late."

So it was a disappointment.

How come I didn't know that? I was so busy with my own problems and didn't care about how he felt. I stupidly said he was like a brother to me, which is so wrong, according to my late realization.

"He- he'd been keeping his feeling by himself. And, and he knew that Jungkook... R- right?" I tell Jiyeon, who gives a hush and telling me it's all okay.

But it's not. It's not okay.

Nothing is okay right now,

Taehyung,

I need Taehyung...

Tae...

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Hello, it's almost ramadhan and I realized how long has this book been edited and wrote all over again and again. But I promise to myself to finish this book properly now, with readers or not.

Anyways, many thanks to you who's always been with this book.

Since I don't write on laptops, I'll dedicate this chapter manually here for Hardy43 for being one of the reasons I kept on writing. Thank you for your comments!!♥

안녕!