Sour Sweet: Rain In The Sunshine (KTH)

24. Convince Them

"What? Papa, he has a girlfriend! Rafi has a girlfriend." I press, clearly repeating what I've told him as if he didn't catch it last time.

"Yeah, so?"

"What?"

"It's only a girlfriend, not a fiancee." He tells me matter-of-factly.

I give him a big sigh to sprinkle the drama, I don't want to ruin other people's happy relationship.

Just now, Rafi's family (the man that I met at the cafe and clearly has a girlfriend) went to my house to talk about our planning about the wedding that's going to be held in two months.

It's too soon and I really want to get out from this.

"This is life, Nana, and we know what's best for you. Trust me." Papa continues.

I click my tongue, "I'm only twenty-two, anyways, I still want to enjoy my time and make my own money like everyone else. There are women who are still single at the age of thirty and-"

"There women who are still single at the age of thirty and they envy those women who are already married and have kids." Papa snaps, "why are you rebelling, you're not a teen anymore, get yourself together!"

I scoff, this is really eating up the nerve out of me. But I'm not going to say more. He's mind has been made and I can't change it-

...but Rafi can.

Swallowing the urge to smirk at my new plan, I flash to my room and pull out my journal book. I don't really write, but this time I need to order down my plan so I won't mess up.

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"Why do you look so sad?" Rafi examines my face as we walk at the park. This morning, as we've agreed to go out last two days, Rafi and I planned to do some getting to know each other date.

He was hesitant at first, but agreed nevertheless.

"You got a girlfriend." I state while looking out at the river.

"W- what? Who said-"

"Don't lie, you're so bad at it." I cut him.

He sighs, "Okay.. I can't break up with her... I mean- not yet, I'm not ready yet."

I turn my head to look at him, his eyes aren't bright and I can see worry and sadness in them. He loves her, that's what I see.

I was planning to annoy him, tell his girlfriend that I'm going to marry him, so that will make him hates me... But now I guess I can't.

Turning my face back to the river on my left side, I watch the little wave splashes as the wind got heavier.

"We're gonna change this," I said to myself.

Rafi hummed, "What is?"

"We can't do this, you love her, you want to be with her, you might even have promised to marry her-"

"-how do you-"

"-Let's tell our parents that we ain't doing this. Tell your parents and my parents that you already have someone in your heart." I look at his face scrunchin, eyes looking at the opposite side of me.

"I don't know about that, I never mentioned her to them so it would be a sudden."

My right knuckle went to my foreheads as I sigh, "Then do you really want to marry me? 'Cause I don't-"

"You have a boyfriend, too?"

I swing my head to see him as I feel my face begins to warm up, "I- I don't, he, well.."

"Is he a good man?"

"Yes, he treated me well."

"Treated?"

I smile weakly, "He's in Korea, and we've been away from each other for months before I came back here."

"So, um? He left you?" He asks hesitantly.

Shaking my head, I turn my face straight, "He was just so busy, he went back looking after me recently but I've moved here," I laugh.

"Then he's um.. A Muslim Korean?"

I chuckled before giving him a big sigh, "I wish he is. It's- I..." I sigh again,feeling my eyes begin to sting.

That question feels like a hard slap on the face, pulling me out from my imagination back to the reality. He's not even a Muslim, what end would waiting for him be?

It's not like we could be together.

"Nana, let's keep praying for the best." He's voice click me out from my thoughts and I sniff, wiping my wet cheeks from the tears I didn't realize.

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"There she goes again..." Papa breaths out, putting his phone on the table harshly.

"Nana what's the matter? You can still go out and work, you know, I'm sure Rafi would allow you to." Mama says.

Papa roars, "You make me believe my thought that you have a boyfriend, I'm really sure you do!"

Without thinking about it twice, I yell back, "So what if I do? I don't want to marry Rafi, he has a girlfriend and he loves her! You want my future family to be broken just because of an ex?!"

"You've watched too many dramas! You're marrying Rafi and that's what it is." He storms out of the living room and opens the front door, dashing out after banging the door shut.

I'm so angry that my eyes tearing up again today, I click my tongue and ran up to my room.

"Nana! Nana, wait." Mama calls out and I stop on the staircase. "Tell me what's the problem-"

"You know what's the problem."

She sighs, "Have you talked about this to Rafi? What did he say?"

"He doesn't know what to do, he wants to be with girlfriend but he doesn't know how to refuse this marriage."

"I'm sorry, Nana. But people change, what if he loved you after you guys married? It might be hard for him at first, but as time goes by, his feeling would change too." I turn my body to look at Mama, she smiles softly but it doesn't warm my heart.

I quickly brush past her and get into my room, falling into my bed and helplessly cry in the pillow. My heart is stinging heavily each second, it's spreading to all of my body especially my palms.

The only thing I can hear is my own sob.

Allah, please, give me the best path.

Taehyung, I can't convince them anymore, sorry...

I'm so sorry.

You should come back sooner, I know you're fighting too.

I'm sorry.

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[unedited]