⚠️trigger warning: domestic abuse⚠️
"hey, where are you?" i asked, taking my shoes off after i stepped through the front door of my boyfriend's house. i looked in the living room before heading downstairs to his room. he was there, sitting on the bed.
"hey baby," i said, sitting down next to him. he put his phone down on his chest and pulled me into him.
"hi," he said, holding me close to him, "i missed you."
"i missed you too," i said. we laid like that for a few more minutes before i took my phone out and started scrolling through instagram. an edit of mariano and i popped up on my feed and i laughed at the caption.
i ship these two soo hard
"what's so funny?" mattia smiled. i gave him my phone and replayed the edit. the smile fell off of his face.
"why are people shipping you and mar?"
"i have no clue," i said, laying on his chest again. instead of letting me, he sat up.
"you have no idea?"
"no?"
"not one clue?"
"no mattia. why are you acting like this?" i asked, getting off of the bed.
"you don't think it's reasonable for me to want to know why the fuck people are shipping my girlfriend with one of my friends?" he asked, getting up and taking a step towards me. i took a step back, getting too much of a glimpse into my last relationship. my last relationship was with a boy named anthony. when i first met him, he was the sweetest person i had ever talked to. he would bring me flowers, hold the door open for me, take me out on dates and all that good stuff. then, it all changed. one night, i went out to the mall with my friends and was being hit on by a group of guys. i laughed and told him about it when i got back, but he blamed me for it.
"what do you expect when you dress like a whore?" were his words. i was shocked. he has never talked to me like that before. i kept trying to tell him that it wasn't my fault, but he didn't believe me. then, he hit me. and i didn't know what to do. i thought he really loved me, so i stayed with him. this type of thing happened multiple times, then the day after, he would tell me "i'm so sorry y/n, i never meant to hurt you. i love you so much." and i believed him. until, one day, he beat me really bad. my face was all types of fucked up, there was bruises on my sides and marks on my arms. he left after he beat me, and i cried and cried. i didn't know what to do, so i called mattia; who was my best friend at the time, and asked him to come over. he came over and i told him everything that happened. i told him that anthony had been beating me for months. he held me as i cried. then, i remember passing out. i woke up in the hospital. my ribs were bruised and my jaw was so close to being broken.
"i will never, ever let him touch you again. i promise. you're safe with me," i remember mattia telling me as i laid in the hospital bed. he helped me get out of that situation and anthony was arrested. for a few months after that, i had some trouble believing that i was safe. but, one day, i finally believed mattia. we started dating and he's been amazing ever since. right now though, i'm having my doubts.
"i just don't know why it's such a big deal," i said, my voice small, "it's not my fault."
"i'm not saying it is!" he said, raising his hands. i couldn't help but flinch, thinking he was going to hit me. his facial expression softened once he realized how scared i was. my arms were held up in front of me to protect myself. i let them fall slowly, hands shaking.
"baby," he said, "you thought i was gonna hit you?" he asked softly. i hesitated.
"i'm sorry," my voice broke. he took a step towards me and embraced me in his arms.
"no, don't be sorry. i'm sorry," he said, pulling away.
"did you really think i was going to hit you?"
"a little bit," i said, wiping my face. i watched his heart break through his eyes.
"i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to scare you. i would never lay a finger on you. i want you to know that. i will never hurt you like he did. you're safe with me, i promise," he said. i wrapped my arms around him and melted into his warmth.
"i love you so much. thank you mattia."
"for what?" he asked, rubbing my back.
"for being you."
1.) hi, i'm sorry if this is shit ,which it probably is.
2.) if you are or know someone who is in an abusive relationship, speak up. i know you may think that person loves you, but if they truly did, they would not be touching you like that. the only marks they should be giving you are hickies, k? reach out for help. i love you all❤️
