teen romance - LIL PEEP

1 - I really like your pants

As I walk into the crowded house party, the strong scent of weed, alcohol, and sweat instantly makes its way to my nose. I cringe at the smell, but it's something i've gotten used to. I arrive by myself, which isn't a big deal to me, and I doubt I'll see anyone I recognize here. Los Angeles parties are always so crowded that there's no way I'd ever be able to see all the people that are coming and going. The front yard is littered with red solo cups and beer cans, and the inside is packed so full with people that it's difficult to walk through. There's a few speakers blasting music so loud that the walls vibrate, and I can already feel my head pounding. I need a xan, but instead I make my way to the kitchen, where countless bottles of alcohol line the counter. I grab a cup for myself and generously pour some vodka into the cup, mixing it with soda. I lean back on the counter and sip my drink, observing all the drunk, high, and crossedfaded kids, dancing and grinding against each other to the music. The drink I'm sipping on makes my veins feel warm, and the burning in the back of my throat is a familiar feeling. I'm barely 19, and I've grown up in LA my whole life, so I'm not new to this type of scene. It's really easy to tell who is though, as I look around at all these people trying so hard to fit in. Just as I'm about to pour myself another drink, I see someone walk up to me in my peripheral vision.

"Hey, I really like your pants," the person says to me.

I turn and face them, and I feel my breath catch in my throat. The guy in front of me has his arms and face covered in tattoos, and his hair is split dyed pink and black, and it's sort of long and falls in his eyes. Through his hair I can see a large tattoo over his right eyebrow, but it's hard to make out what it says. His outfit is so different from what I'm used to seeing around here, and his whole appearance makes him stand out from everyone else.

I realize that I've been staring at him for a long time without answering, so I quickly respond with, "Oh, thank you."

"I'm Gus, I'm new to this part of the city," he says, as he extends his hand out to me. I almost laugh at the polite gesture, but I copy his action and shake his hand. "Hi Gus, I'm Jordan. I've lived here for exactly 19 years," I say back.

"It's nice to meet you, Jordan. I just moved here with a couple of my friends. I'm tryna make it big in music, and I figured LA is the place to be," he says, with a dopey smile on his face. I can tell he's a little out of it, but there's no one else here talking to me, so I might as well follow along.

"That's sick, I'm always looking for new music. Where can I search for you?" I ask as I take out my phone. I look up to make eye contact, but he's zoning out on something in the distance, his eyes a little glossed over. "Hey, you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, I took a xan, I hope you understand," he says, now making eye contact with me. I laugh a little at this statement before he continues, "I'm on Soundcloud. My name's Lil Peep," he says, giving me a big crooked smile.

"Lil Peep," I echo, as I type the name into my notes so I can remind myself to look him up later. "That's cute," I say, mostly to myself.

Gus obviously hears me though, and gives me a funny look and I instantly regret saying that. But he doesn't seem like some tough LA wannabe who I'd want to avoid, even though it's apparent he's new to the area. His presence is reassuring, and even from the short conversation I've had with him so far, he feels like a genuine person.

A silence falls between us, despite the music pounding throughout the house, and I awkwardly sip the rest of my drink. As I'm racking my brain for something to say to him, the music suddenly changes to something calmer, which is surprising to hear at a party like this, but I welcome the change in music with open arms. Apparently, Gus does too, because he starts to sway his body with the beat.

"You probably got a man, but give me your hand," he says to me, once again extending his arm out and meeting his hand with mine, except instead of shaking it, he holds onto it and pulls me into the other room where everyone is dancing.

I'm confused at what he's doing, but I go along with it. There's something about him that makes me just trust him, even though I don't know him. "Give me this dance," he says to me, his glazed-over eyes meeting mine. I don't say anything, because quite frankly I don't know how to respond. He hooks his arm around my back, and with the other, he grabs my hand and we begin to sway to the music. I almost laugh out loud at the position we're in. This random stranger who I just met is slow dancing with me like we're at a high school dance and not an LA house party. People around us are staring and laughing, but at that moment, I really don't care about the eyes following us. Because of the crowd of people, I'm completely pushed up against Gus's chest, and he's tall enough to rest his chin on my head. I breathe in his scent, which is a mixture of weed and cologne. It's relaxing, and I let my eyes close and my body follow his, swaying with the music as the world around me disappears. I know I'm barely tipsy, but I feel drunk on this man's energy. Before I know it, the song is cut short, most likely to people complaining about it being too slow, and we're back to listening to headache-inducing trap music. I snapback to reality and push myself out of Gus's grasp. The action causes him to pull away, as he realizes what kind of position we were in, in front of everyone around us. There's a tension that settles around us, and suddenly I feel the need to excuse myself from his sight. "Hey, um, I'm gonna go get another drink," I say, before turning away from him and heading back into the kitchen.

I feel bad leaving him in that crowd of people by himself, but the moment we just shared was so intimate, in a way that I'm not used to. Most guys that I meet already want to fuck the first night, but this guy seems so different. Maybe it's the xans he took, or maybe that's just the way he is. I'm not sure yet. A part of me wants to go find him again, but the other part of me knows the possibility of me falling fast for someone like him is extremely likely, and that's the last thing I need right now. I sigh outloud to myself and fill my cup back up, this time adding more vodka than soda.

I sip my drink, grimacing as the harsh liquid hits my tongue. The more alcohol I consume, the more I think about Gus and how it's probably a good idea to go find him. It was pretty shitty of me to just desert him like that.I push my way through groups of people, gaining more confidence as the vodka floods my bloodstream. When I don't find him where I left him, I feel a pang of sadness. I continue looking for him, going from room to room, but it's so crowded and hard to see. I make my way into the backyard, where there's a pingpong table with beer pong set up on it. I scan the crowd of people standing around outside, and my eyes finally settle on a head full of black and pink hair. I feel relief flood through me, just seeing this stranger already makes me feel better. As I start to walk towards him, I see that he's talking to some other girl. She's pretty, curvier than me, and he has his arm draped over her shoulder as she laughs at something he said. I stop in my tracks and my heart feels heavy all of a sudden. I almost laugh at myself for getting my hopes up already. I walk back into the party, and immediately dial an Uber before swigging the rest of my drink. I shake my head, mentally kicking myself for already getting attached to this random guy. Of course my encounter wasn't unique for him, I was just some random LA girl that he probably wanted to fuck, and when I left he headed off to find another one. There was just something so... different about him though. The way he talked to me. The way he danced with me, that was something that's never happened to me. His energy was so different from everyone else I'd been around. I get a notification saying my Uber is outside, and once I get in the car, I find myself staring out the window at the night sky while Gus's face dances through my mind.

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A/N: hii!! This is my first ever fanfic :) it might not be very good, but seeing as the coronavirus has me stuck inside, I figured I wanted to start something. I've been a fan of peep since spring of 2017, and I'm so thankful that even though I'm not an og fan, I was able to witness some of his success before he passed. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!!