teen romance - LIL PEEP

9 - lose my mind

Jordan
Gus I'm so sorry
I didn't mean what I said
I really respect your music, you know that
read 12:17am

Jordan
hey it's me again
I haven't heard from you in awhile and just wanted to make sure you were okay...
read 3:57am

Jordan
Gus please text me. I feel so shitty for what I did and it came out so wrong
once again I'm so sorry
read 9:34pm

Days without hearing from Gus suddenly turn into weeks with no response. I tell myself that there's no point in texting him over and over again, if he wanted to talk to me he would've by now. But I can't help it. I lay in bed, blinds shutting out the afternoon light, making my room almost as dark and bleak as I feel inside. My phone is open on my messages with Gus. I type out another long apology, but delete it before pressing send. Tears well in my eyes and I pull my bed sheets up to my chin, planning to sleep the day away, which is what I've been doing any day that I don't have class. Just as my mind begins to slip away, a text notification causes my eyes to shoot open. I check it right away, silently praying it's from the boy I hurt.

Tracy
hey, am I gonna see you at peep's show tonight

I bury my face into my pillow and scream until my throat gives out. I'm upset at myself for falling so hard and fast, more than anything. The thought of seeing him perform again leaves me choked up, I know he wouldn't want me there. I hadn't felt the way I feel around Gus in such a long time, but it's not surprising I ruined something as quick as it started. As I lay there, contemplating how to tell Tracy that Gus and I aren't really on the best terms anymore, my phone dings one more time. As I check it, my heart drops to my stomach. It's Gus, but there aren't any words. Just an audio link. My hands are shaky, and for a second my cruel mind tells me that he probably didn't even mean to send it to me. I push that thought out of my head and press play on the link. A calm melody starts to play through my phone, and after a moment Gus's voice, the voice I'd been longing to hear, fills my ears.

I'm bout' to give her everything she ever wanted and more
What I deliver, it's something that can't be bought at the store
I'm tryna bring you with me, baby, while I'm finding myself
That feeling when you kiss me tells me I don't need no one else
I had to lose my mind a couple times to find out it's you
I had to run around the world, girl, just to be here, it's true
These other women don't got nothing on the way that she moves
Let's pick up right where we left off last night, inside of my room

The song abruptly ends, meaning that was most likely just a snippet of something he's working on. I sit there for a moment, staring at my phone until the screen goes black. I'm utterly speechless, and it's not the first time this boy has left me like that. Before I gather to courage to text back, I replay the song over and over again until I'm convinced I know the lyrics by heart. His voice is as beautiful as ever, but the lyrics make me believe that maybe our story isn't over yet.

A/N: omg it's been so long so I've written😭 tysm for almost 200 reads, I really didn't think I'd get any at all :) sorry this is so short, I'm trying to come up with more ideas right now and hopefully I'll be writing a lot more soon!!