teen romance - LIL PEEP

4 - sing me to sleep?

It was around 10pm once I arrived at the party. I walk in and immediately look for Tracy. Once I find him, I jump into his arms and give him a huge bear hug. "I missed youuuu!!" I yell in his ear over the loud music. He laughed and put me down, saying how it hadn't even been that long since the last time we saw each other. He offers me a drink, which I gladly accept. I walk around and greet some more people I know, feeling much more comfortable in a familiar environment with familiar faces. After about an hour of hanging out with Tracy and my girl friends, I start to get anxious that Gus isn't going to show up. I think about texting him, but don't want to come off as clingy or desperate so I stop myself from doing so. Right as I was giving up on him showing up, I see a mass of pink and black hair walk through the front door. He's wearing black jeans with rips in the fabric, and a pink camouflage hoodie. I feel my mouth drop open a little, as I take in his attractive state. Before he catches me staring, I quickly turn away and redirect my attention to something my friend Jessie was saying. I was scared I was already crushing on Gus, and I knew I couldn't have that happen. The last guy I fell for completely broke my heart, and it took months to get over. I didn't want to go through that again.

I haven't seen Gus since he came in, so I excuse myself from my friends and go to find him. I felt bad since I had invited him here and wasn't there to greet him. I walk into the kitchen and find him leaning against the wall, sipping a drink and talking to some girl who I hadn't met before. Before I could tell myself to chill out, I feel jealousy bubble up inside me. I quickly push that away and take a long sip of my drink, before walking up to where they were standing. Gus immediately turns to me with a big smile on his face, saying "Hey Jordan! I was wondering where you were at!"

I give him an equally big smile in return, and say, "Here I am!" I attempt to start a conversation, until I hear the girl standing next to him loudly clear her throat.

"Oh right, Jordan this is Layla. I just met her. Do you guys know each other?" he asks me.

"I don't think we do, actually," I say, directing my attention to the so-called Layla standing across from me. "Hi," I smile politely.

"Hey," she responds, no enthusiasm in her voice. "I'm gonna go find my friends, text me sometime Gus," she says with a flirtatious grin, as she turns away from us and heads into the crowd.

"You already have her number?" I ask him, trying to keep my tone of voice sounding friendly and not disappointed.

"Yeah, she gave it to me a few minutes ago. Everyone here has been so friendly!" he says, oblivious to my jealousy, thank god.

"Speaking of friendly, I have someone I want you to meet," I say, dropping the subject, and grabbing his hand. Once I spot who I'm looking for, I go up to him and tap his shoulder.

"Tracy, this is Gus, aka Lil Peep, and Gus, this is Tracy, aka Jazz," I say, smiling wide as I present Gus to Tracy as if I was a little kid presenting something for show and tell. They clasp hands and introduce each other, Tracy complimenting Gus on some of his tracks. I stand back observing, with a slight smile on my face as I watch the two interact. They were already laughing together and the conversation seemed to be flowing easily, so I walk away and head to get myself another drink. After a few minutes, I feel arms grab me from behind while I stand in the kitchen. I look down and see that they're adorned with tattoos, and I smile to myself before coming face to face with Gus. I giggled and say, "What are you tryna do, mister?"

"Not mister, daddy," he states, as he grabs himself another drink. I stand there with my mouth hanging open at his comment, and he bursts into laughter at my reaction. "I'm just kidding!!" he says, but the mischievous look in his eyes says different.

We spark up a conversation, and it feels even more natural than the first time we talked. I ask him about music, and learn that he's about to release some more tracks and is scheduled to play at a house show in a few weeks. I congratulate him and say, "Gus that's great! You just got here and people already want to hear your music." I swear I see him blush at my comment, but he tries covering it up by taking a sip of his drink. The more time we spend standing in the kitchen talking, the more and more tipsy I begin to feel. Before I know it, I'm giggling at everything he says and having to balance myself by holding onto the counter. He begins to notice my behavior and gives me a look, probably questioning why I'm such a lightweight.

"Gus, we should go danceee like we did last time," I say to him, slightly moving my hips to the beat that's pounding through the house. He laughs at me and says, "I dunno, I was really high last time."

"And now I'm really drunkkk, it's perfect," I say, slurring my words a little and giving him a big smile. He playfully rolls his eyes, and says, "Okay, fine, let's go."

He followed me into the next room, and we push our way into the crowd of people dancing and grinding on each other. I begin to sway my body, facing him as he follows suit. The large amounts of alcohol I've consumed give me a confidence I didn't know I had, but I take it and run with it. After a few minutes the song changes, and the new song's lyrics are much more suggestive. I bite my lip and turn myself around, pressing my back against Gus's chest, purposefully moving my ass slightly on him. I hear him take in a sharp breath, probably not expecting the sudden physical contact. When he doesn't push me away, I get more into it, pressing my body into his with more pressure and swaying my hips with more rhythm. I feel his arms snake around my side, his hands lightly grasping my hips. After a few minutes I can feel something poking my back, and I smile to myself, surprised that I have that effect on him. I turn back around and face him, now pressing my chest against his. He keeps his hands at my sides, and I put my hands around his neck. We're so close together, that if I stood on my tip toes our lips would meet. The warm feeling throughout my body urges me too, and as I feel my face getting closer to his I whisper his name in a whiny voice. I feel him back up a bit from me, and then he grabs my hand and pushes us out of the crowd. Even in my drunken state, I feel my heart ink as I process the rejection. Once we're out of the crowd of people, he looks at me with a certain sadness in his eyes. "Jordan you're too drunk," he says. "Am not," I say, stumbling over my own feet to the point where he has to grab my arm so I don't fall.

"Yes, you are. I'm gonna take you home," he says, and he leads me out of Tracy's house. We walk down the sidewalk, him having to brace me up so I don't fall. Once we reach his car, he opens the passenger door and helps me into the seat. After I tell him my address, I can feel myself drifting in and out of consciousness. The whole ride over is silent, and I'm almost out by the time he pulls into the driveway to my condo. He helps me out of the car, and gets my keys and unlocks the door for me. He leads me into my place, and I guide him to my bedroom. Once I get there, I flop onto my unmade bed. He stands in the doorway for a second, clearly not knowing if he should leave me yet.

"Peeeeeep," I slur, finding it funny to use his stage name. He walks over and sits at the end of my bed. "Can you sing me to sleep?" I ask, my eyes already closed. I hear him giggle a bit, but he respects my drunken wish and begins singing in a low, raspy voice.

"Wait right here, I'll be back in the morning. I know that I'm not that important to you but to me girl you're so much more than gorgeous. So much more than perfect."

-

The next time I open my eyes, the sun is just starting to peek through my curtains, and there's no sign of Gus in my room. I close my eyes, attempting to go back to sleep, questioning if him ever being in my room was just a dream.