teen romance - LIL PEEP

2 - @lilpeep

I wake up the next morning due to the sun shining through my window slats. I sit up on my elbows and grimace as my head immediately starts pounding. I chug the glass of water on my nightstand, and decide that I'm spending the rest of the day in bed.

I turn on my phone, and see a few texts from my best friend, Tracy. I respond to his messages asking if I had fun at the party and that he's sorry he missed it. I quickly respond back, telling him it was just like every other party, purposely leaving out the details of Gus. As everything from the night before floods back into my mind, I press my hands over my eyes and cringe to myself as I remember the encounter with Gus, and they way he made me feel after not even a full night of knowing him. That's when I remember him telling me he made music, and I immediately go to my notes to find his name so I can look him up. "Lil Peep," I say the name out loud, as I type it into the Soundcloud search bar. Results immediately come up, and there's multiple songs with thousands of listens. I click on a song titled "the way i see things" , and immediately a calming melody starts playing from the phone. "I got a feeling that I'm not gonna be here, for next year. So let's laugh a little before I'm gone" Gus's voice finds its way to my ears, and I find myself paralyzed in my bed listening to his saddening lyrics and feeling myself wanting to protect him from the pain he's felt before. I let two more of his songs play, both equally raw and so real. I swear I feel tears begin to swell at my eyes, but I quickly blink them away and finally shut the music off.

The rest of the day, Gus's music sticks in my mind, and his lyrics touch my heart as I realize how sad he really must be in order to come up with these words, even though he seemed so happy and friendly the night I met him. Hearing his music makes me feel like I've uncovered a part of him, and he begins to seem less like a stranger and more like someone I've really connected with. I want to reach out to him and tell him how his music affected me. I type in lilpeep on instagram,  and he's the first account that comes up. He has a little over 4,000 followers, and most of his pictures are him posing with other people, but he stands out so much compared to everyone else. I take a deep breath before hitting follow, realizing that he probably doesn't even remember me. Within a few minutes I receive a notification saying @lilpeep followed you! I almost chuck my phone out of excitement. I mentally tell myself to calm down, just because he followed me back really doesn't mean anything. I continue to browse social media, until I get another notification saying that Gus sent me a dm. I have to refrain from literally yelping out loud. I decide to wait a few minutes before opening it, I don't want to seem too eager. After what I think is an appropriate amount of time, I go to my dms and click on his message.

@lilpeep
Hey boo, I think I met you at tha party last night right?
Sorry if I was geekin off the xans, but it was really nice meeting you.

@j0rdn
hii haha it's all good! I'm surprised you remember me honestly

@lilpeep
How could I forget someone like you?

This time, after reading his message, I actually do toss my phone on my bed and cover my face with my hands, smiling so much it hurts. Just from one sweet message like that, I already find myself wrapped around his finger, and I try to convince myself that it's in a platonic way, just because he seems so much cooler than anyone I'm used to being around. I try to think of a response for a few minutes before typing back.

      @j0rdn
I could say the same thing about you. your style and tats are so sick.

I anxiously bounce my leg as I sit on the edge of my bed while waiting for a response. I overthink my message, hoping that he doesn't think I'm weird or simping too hard. Pretty soon I get a response

@lilpeep
Thank you, that means a lot. I'm actually pretty insecure about going in public and people staring at me. I know I look different from most people, but I wish some people weren't so judgemental. It's nice that you're not like that

My heart almost bursts from how open and sweet he is being towards me.

@j0rdn
I think everyone here is gonna be jealous of how real you are compared to them

@lilpeep
I just think it's important to do your own thing and not try so hard to be like everyone else. It ain't cool.

@j0rdan
totally agree :)

@lilpeep
You're dope jordan, one of the few cool people I've met here so far. Since I don't really have any friends from LA yet, would you wanna hang out sometime? You can show me around

@j0rdn
for sure! just text me whenever :)

Before I know it, we're already making plans to see each other again. I was convinced that last night was the last time I was going to see Gus, but I'm so glad it's not. I fall asleep that night with him and his lyrics on my mind, and I smile to myself knowing that I'll see the tattooed boy soon.