teen romance - LIL PEEP

17 - messy

I rub my face over my hands and groan in frustration. The time on my laptop reads 1:32am, meaning the show had ended almost two hours ago. I had made no progress on my assignment, due to not being able to concentrate. The music from outside had seemingly gotten louder and more obnoxious as time passed. I look outside the tinted window I'm sitting by and see that the crowd of people has gotten bigger. I angrily slam my laptop shut and decide to observe the party, since I know that getting school work done right now is not an option.

I walk out of the back and see that some people have ended up inside the bus, sitting around on the couch. The door is swung open. So that's why the music sounded so much louder, I think to myself as I walk down the steps that lead outside. People are laughing and stumbling around, all seemingly having a great time. I push my way past the drunken bodies, looking for Gus. I see people sitting in folding chairs, and one of them is him. Except he's not by himself. There's a girl sitting on his lap, planting kisses all over his tattooed neck. His head is thrown back, eyes closed. Rage washes over me, and my vision goes blurry as I realize what I'm seeing. I push through the people standing around and socializing, not caring if I piss anyone off.

"What the fuck is going on," I shout, standing over Gus and the random girl. This causes him to open his eyes and jerk his head up. They both reek of alcohol, and once he sees me, he pathetically tries to push the girl off his lap and stand up. He adjusts himself, unsuccessfully attempting to hide his boner.

"Babe, I- this really isn't what you think," he tries to ramble his way through an excuse, slurring his words badly. "She came onto me, I swear."

"Oh please, he was making eyes at me all night. Sorry," the girl shrugs her shoulders at me and walks off into the crowd of people before I can say anything to her. But it doesn't matter, because I know she's not at fault. Tears begin to brim at my eyes, as the anger that consumed me is quickly replaced with sadness. "You asshole," I spit at him, before turning and running away from him. The tears I was fighting back break free once I'm no longer facing him, and I make my way through the crowd, not caring where my destination is.

I run away from the bus, away from everyone partying, away from the loud music, and away from Gus. My face feels like it's burning, and the tears don't stop falling. I feel pathetic, but my body takes off before my mind can fathom an appropriate response to what just happened. I keep running until the music is a dull background noise and the venue is no longer in sight. I slow down to take in my surroundings. I'm in a downtown area, but at this time of night, it's almost dead, aside from people standing around outside of a bar. I don't care where I am though, the only thing that matters is that I'm away from Gus. I find a bench on the sidewalk and sit down, holding my knees to my chest. I choke out a sob, trying to steady my breathing. It doesn't work, and I'm suddenly bombarded with sobs that rack my body. I allow myself to cry, and I sit there for what seems like hours, but is probably only 10 minutes. After my breathing slows down again, and I can see out of my eyes after blinking away tears, I reach for my phone to call Tracy. I feel my pockets, and anxiety washes over me as I realize I left it on the bus. I lean my head against the back of the bench and close my eyes, trying to stop myself from crying more. Just then, I hear pounding footsteps coming from the direction I ran from, and I open my eyes instinctively. I see Tracy rounding the corner, and relief floods through me. He spots me on the bench, and runs over to me, wrapping me in a giant hug. Just the small amount of affection from him makes me burst out into tears again, and he rubs my back as I cry in his arms. He picks me up and I wrap my legs around him, and we begin walking. He lets me cry the whole time, not asking questions. I assume he already knows what happened, which is nice because I do not feel like talking. I let my tears do all the explaining for me.

By the time we get back to the bus, the crowd of people is gone. There's trash littered all around the bus, but I'm too mentally drained to worry about the mess. He lifts me up into the bus and sets me down on the couch. I wipe my face and ask, "Where is he?"

"He left. Right after you ran off, he yelled at everyone to leave. Jordan, I was so mad after I heard what happened I couldn't even see straight. But before I could do anything he took off in the opposite direction. I haven't seen him yet, and he was really fucked up so I have no idea where he could've gone," he rubs the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "I am so fucking sorry. I don't even know what to say."

"It's okay. Thank you for coming after me," I say, pulling him into another tight hug. "We need to find him though."

"Why do you care? Let him figure it out by himself tonight," Tracy says back, with venom in his voice.

"I know what he did was fucked up. Trust me. And I know he isn't perfect. But he's really drunk, and we can't just leave him on the streets."

"Are you seriously trying to make excuses for him? He's a grown man, he should know how wrong that is, whether he's drunk or not. None of us are perfect, but that doesn't mean we're cheaters," he says.

"Gus is not a cheater!" I respond defensively.

"Really? Then what would you call that?" He asks, with a look of disgust on his face.

"He's never done anything like that before. I mean, he technically wasn't doing anything. The girl was the one kissing him," I whisper, realizing how pathetic I sound.

"My god, when will you realize that he's not right for you?" Tracy shakes his head.

"I'm not having this conversation with you right now. I can decide who's right for me, I don't need your help with that," I respond as I start to stand up and head for the door. But before I get any further, Tracy grabs my arm to stop me. We make eye contact with each other, his eyes filled with rage and mine filled with tears. Before I can pull away from him, he takes a step towards me and breaks the distance between us, pressing his lips into mine. My body freezes as he brings his hands up to my face, and I instinctively lean into the familiar feeling. A second passes and I realize what's happening. I yank myself back and shove him away, a look of regret instantly washing over his face. We're both speechless for a moment, until I cock my arm back and slap his face with my open hand.

"Jesus!" He exclaims as he brings his hand up to his face.

"Oh my god, I didn't mean to, I just-"

"No, don't apologize, I deserved that," he says, rubbing his cheek.

"Wait, yeah, what the fuck was that Tracy? Like, are you fucking kidding me?" I shout, as fresh tears escape from my eyes. Before he can answer, I'm already out the door, running in the direction he said Gus went.