Monster | warrior cats | book 2

viii | the torture in truth

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Her eyes tore open suddenly. The visions she had once seen in her dreams all flashed beneath her eyes, vivid scenarios of life and death. And then it all disappeared. She panted heavily, her eyes soaking in the images of her surroundings. The den was quaint and dark; softly protected by midnight. Sharp scents of medicine and various herbs stung her nose like thorns. The medicine cat den. Despite the den standing for injured cat's protection, Violetsky found herself suffocating. The walls were slowly closing in on her. Her head began to spin as her heart thrummed in fear. Ever since the torturous hollows of WolfClan's prisons and the narrow tunnels of the rogue camp, Violetsky couldn't let herself rest in a den. She felt confined, imprisoned, in dens.

The pale she-cat strode away from the medicine cat den, being welcomed by the tender winds caressing her fur. Long grasses climbed at her legs while she stood to observe the night. The sky was a dark blanket of stars. It stretched like open arms, hugging the land and trees beneath it. Outside, Violetsky could breathe. Her shoulders relaxed without the weight of trouble and she took a seat, studying the peacefulness. There was one thing she promised herself, Wolfstar would never again take away her peace. And she was sure of it.

"Oh, Violetsky," A quiet, surprised voice intercepted her thinking. Her lavender eyes rotated to fix upon a small ginger tom. "I didn't know you were awake. Are you feeling alright?" The tom's eyes were swollen with concern. He looked up and down, examining the she-cat.

"I'm fine, Rowanpaw. You don't have to worry about me." She whispered, a smile brightening her features. Why did the apprentice seem so puzzled? How long had she been asleep? "Rowanpaw, if you don't mind me asking, how long was I gone for?"

Rowanpaw, ruffling his whiskers, sighed. His face scrunched as he looked back in memory, trying to capture the best calculation. "Uh- I think it was three sun rises..." His voice trailed off as he thought to himself once again. "Yes. Three." He sounded more positive this time.

"Three? That's a long time. I hope Stormrunner is okay." Violetsky could imagine the dark tom's nonstop pacing. He always was so anxious about her, which deep down, she adored. Violetsky imagined what it would be like to go three days without Stormrunner, it would break her heart.

"Actually-" Rowanpaw's voice pitched. "This is the first night he's fallen asleep since the accident. He's doing much better." Rowanpaw's lush eyes sparkled with truthfulness. Violetsky couldn't help but drool over his eyes; how much he looked like Adderpaw-

"He hasn't been able to sleep?" The apprentice's words suddenly hit Violetsky. Stormrunner not sleeping sent shivers of unsettlement down her spine. "He must be so exhausted, poor thing."

Rowanpaw shrugged. Last time the apprentice talked with the worried warrior, he was definitely fatigued. He remembered the blue in Stormrunner's single eye was weak with exhaustion; he wasn't eating and he was constantly questioning Violetsky's well-being. "Well, the important thing is he's fine now. And so are you." The chestnut-furred tom smiled brightly, his happiness for his two companions as clear as the color of the stars. But quite slowly, the smile on his muzzle faded, like dawn to the stars. Rowanpaw grew sad. "That night of the accident, I heard you and Stormrunner fighting. I didn't stay because I felt like I was intruding." The apprentice glanced up into the molly's eyes, attempting to read her expressions. She was blank. He proceeded, "What were you arguing about?"

The question burned the air followed by a heavy intensity. It felt like a stone deep in her throat, blocking her words. Violetsky stumbled, "Rowanpaw, we were arguing about-" She froze, knowing the answer would baffle the young tom. Should she lie? The silver she-cat suddenly found herself torn. Perhaps talking to Rowanpaw would ease the pain. "Your brother, Adderpaw."

Now Rowanpaw was the one without words. His eyes widened with faint shock as he wasn't expecting his brother to be the subject of a fallout. Confusion swamped his head, "What? Why?" He had so many questions.

Violetsky senses the hot tears form in the edges of her eyes. She sucked in a hard breath, feeling the painful memories pierce her as if they had claws of their own. "It was so long ago, I-"

"Oh, Violetsky. You know I hate to see you cry." Rowanpaw's big eyes looked into Violetsky's own. He could see them shine with an outline of tears. "Don't tell me if it hurts you to."

"I loved him, Rowanpaw." The words spoke for themselves. The confession was quick and quite shocking. Rowanpaw slowly shook his head, his face curled in confusion. But before saying anything, he let his friend continue. "I loved him so much that when he left, I couldn't love anyone again." Despite the burning of her voice, for once, Violetsky felt like she could actually breathe. The words she had wished to speak for so long, were finally gone. "The whole argument was about how I can't love Stormrunner in the way he wants me to."

Rowanpaw's fell to the swaying grass stroking his legs. He only remembered bits of his brother, before he was snatched away. His brother may have been dead, but the jealously he once felt for his kin was surely alive. Adderpaw was the family's favorite. Adderpaw was everyone's favorite. When you were beside him so was the world.

"Can you-" Violetsky's stammering interrupted Rowanpaw's thinking. "Can you tell me about him?"

Rowanpaw was quite surprised by the she-cat's question. But when gazing deep into her downcast expression, he felt compelled to talk. The ginger tom nodded, "When Adderpaw was born, it was as though the world became brighter. Everyone instantly fell in love with him. The other families, the kits, the elders, the clan. And for such a young age, he was very clever and he was super charming. I remember being so envious of him." The gray molly's heart sank in her chest. She didn't know that. The conversation suddenly switched tones. Rowanpaw was overtaken by a passionate fury. "I hated him. I hated being the shadow following him around all the time. They wouldn't call me Rowanpaw, they would call me Adderpaw's brother." Rowanpaw paused, inhaling as though the memories physically hurt. "When WolfClan attacked, they tried to take him away from me. Just as I was about to defend him, I hesitated. I thought of the world without Adderpaw; I could finally be myself, I wouldn't have to fight for my mother's attention, I wouldn't constantly be compared to him. Violetsky, I-" Tears were now flooding down Rowanpaw's face, staining his features. He looked as though he had been holding this pain for too long. He had been tortured by something.

And Violet knew exactly what it was. She could already hear the words before they appeared from his mouth.

"I let them take Adderpaw."

Violetsky became insane with burning energy. Her blood ran violently. "But- But," She stumbled over the right words. "He called you a hero. He told me you were a hero."

Rowanpaw slowly shook his head, "Only because he forgave me." Wiping his face on his long fur, the apprentice resumed. "I was going insane, Violetsky. I used to have a lot of dreams involving Adderpaw. Ones where he would murder me, others where he would turn the Clan to hate my name. I used to wake up rotting in the guilt he left me with."

Upon hearing this, the hot flush seizing Violetsky's inner self ceased. She couldn't imagine what the young tomcat had felt like going through all of this. "Who have you told?"

Rowanpaw winced at the question. "Just you." Violetsky accepted the question but remained silent. She sensed Rowanpaw's torture; the number of times he wanted to tell someone what truly happened but was only stopped by his fear.

The two young cats sat still with each other, the subject of an old friend turned bitter once again. Was Adderpaw turning all of Violetsky's friends against her? It couldn't be true. "Do you hate me?" Rowanpaw's quiet mutter entered the air like a loud bang.

Violetsky turned to stare at the young tom. "No." She stated blankly. Her eyes that reflect her every emotion were now firm with nothingness. "Rowanpaw, I don't just like you because you're Adderpaw's brother. You're my friend. There's nothing you could say that would make me hate you."

And that was that. The feline friends relaxed outside the medicine den but were still within the borders of the campsite. They fell into the night sky, pushing away any worries they once held. All remained peaceful that twilight but dawn was soon to come, and with it, bring many more challenges.

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